Her First Choice
by TashaLaw
Summary: Lorelai knew that she should feel something. And then one day, her tears came. And so did Luke.
1. When She Cries

**Title**: Her First Choice

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nil.

**Summary**: Lorelai knew that she should feel something. And then one day, her tears came. And so did Luke.

**Author's Notes**: Post-Christopher reconciliation story. I know, we've seen this tree before. But it bugs me that we didn't get to see Lorelai really mourn her relationship with Luke properly. And it drives me crazy that we haven't seen any real physical contact between them.

No spoilers. It begins sometime before _Gilmore Girls Only_, 'cause that's when I started writing it. I originally intended it as a one-shot, but it keeps growing, so… we'll see where it goes. As always, reviews are appreciated.

**Rating**: T

**Chapter 1: When She Cries**

* * *

Lorelai knew that she should feel something. Sadness, anger, frustration, relief… Something. Of all the times in her life that she had been overburdened with emotion, she had never expected to experience this particular moment and feel… well, nothing. 

At first, she thought it was just a delayed reaction. So much had happened lately, so much turmoil in her life, that maybe it hadn't caught up with her yet. The feelings would come. She would cry, she would scream and throw things, she would watch some old movies curled up on the couch with Paul Anka, and then she would gradually begin to move on with her life once more.

And yet, she hadn't cried. She hadn't cried in the weeks since the divorce. She didn't feel angry or hurt or upset, not at Christopher or herself. And she had really thought that crushing weight of loneliness would do her in. But, as it was turning out, the quiet, empty house felt just the same as it had before. In fact, her life seemed back to normal, really, like one of those old metal grocery carts with the one wheel that wobbles and sticks until it hits a bump. Then the cart runs smoothly again, and you notice it and appreciate it only because you had to suffer through the wobbly wheel.

Lorelai decided that she was simply numb to the whole thing, and ultimately, that was probably for the best. Emotions could be messy and cumbersome. Following her feelings around had caused her no end of grief over the years. Maybe she subconsciously knew that she needed a break from those pangs in her heart, a vacation from the anger and the sadness and that nagging guilt that kept her from falling asleep at night.

She loved Luke. It wasn't a feeling so much as a state of existence, something she failed to realize when they broke up. And that love persisted, deep inside her, despite all her attempts to ignore it or quash it. Lorelai did not want to love Luke. She resented the fact that she still longed for the man who did not want to marry her, who kept her segregated from his life… who did not love her.

The last acknowledgment was the worst – Luke did not love her. No matter how much she made herself face that statement, it always hurt a little. Sure, he said that he loved her, but actions speak louder than words, and Luke had always been more of an action-man anyway. What did it say that he hid April from her? Or that even after she found out, he kept Lorelai away from the girl for fear she would steal her affection? And finally, worst of all, what did it mean that he would not elope with her even after he had suggested it and they had discussed the possibility?

At the time, she thought the big wedding plans had simply been causing him too much stress. But as it turned out, it wasn't about the wedding at all. It was about marrying _her_. He wasn't ready, he wasn't sure. Why hadn't he been sure? Ever since the night she proposed, Lorelai felt certain of her feelings for Luke. He was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. He was the one. Forget Emily Gilmore's trying on her wedding dress every day the week before the wedding – Lorelai had barely gone a day with the garment sitting in at home in her closet before putting it on again.

The fairy tale planning of their wedding had been so perfect, so beautiful and easy. Of course something had to mess it up, to make things hard and ugly for a while. But at the time, she had truly felt they could work through everything, that they could emerge on the other side of their problems and still have the marriage she had always wanted.

It wasn't until April that Lorelai began to wonder – truly wonder - if Luke even wanted that with her anymore. Did he want to marry her? Did he want the life she had always dreamed of sharing? In the end, when she pushed him on it, his answer was _no_. He was not willing to jump, to fling himself into a life with her. Part of her rationalized that if he could not do it then, when they were engaged and had known each other for so long, would he ever be able to do it?

So she buried her emotions. And now, they were so far inside of her that she could no longer feel them. She imagined that they had simply infused themselves into her body, soaking into her organs and blood stream like toxic waste infects ground water. And while she knew it probably wasn't good for her, she was relieved to feel only the merciful numbness.

And so, as she saw Luke getting out of his truck across the square one day, the fact that the image inspired no emotional reaction in her was of little surprise. He did, after all, live and work at the diner. There was nothing new or unusual about him arriving from some unknown destination. The moment was so innocuous that Lorelai was almost able to consider him just another fellow townsperson rather than her ex-fiancé and the man who had broken her heart. In fact, she wondered if she was finally starting to get over him.

Unfortunately, what she was not prepared for was to see Luke walk around to the passenger side of his truck and open the door for someone. The person who got out was not his daughter, but a woman - a beautiful woman who he smiled at; even from the distance she was at, Lorelai could tell it reached his eyes.

A second later, the woman turned and Lorelai felt her first real emotions in weeks.

Rachel.

Having avoided her emotions for so long, Lorelai was almost immediately overcome by the rush of feelings that washed over her. Jealousy hit first, a punch to her gut. Anger came neck-in-neck with regret, striking her in the chest so forcefully that she was left breathless by the combination. Jealousy mixed with longing and self-loathing touched her last, like rough hands pushing her down, dragging her into a pit of depression.

She watched as Luke took Rachel's bags out of the back of his truck and escorted her into the diner. She could see through the window as Luke took the woman's things upstairs as she followed behind, like they had gone through the same motions a hundred times. Perhaps they had.

Her protective cocoon shattered, Lorelai stumbled in the direction of her house, all thoughts of where she was going or what she was doing having vanished. She wanted to be home. She wanted to curl up in her bed and cry and drown her sorrows in a gallon of Ben & Jerry's while watching whatever reality television show she could find. She did not want to think about Luke or the ex-girlfriend who was back in town and staying at his apartment.

Alas, despite all her intentions to the contrary, Lorelai thought about little else the rest of the day. Like a woman in mourning, she walked through her house room by room, thinking of the memories imbedded in the painted walls and renovated floors. At first she tried to focus on her times with Christopher and Gigi, but those quickly gave way to the more painful memories of Luke. Luke making her breakfast. Luke watching movies with her. Luke fixing her porch. Luke making love to her. The two of them fighting – silly fights and serious fights.

She suffered through the big memories, the times that would stay with her no matter what. Luke knocking on her door and kissing her senseless as a way of reconciling their first break-up. Their first major fight as a couple when he discovered that she had bought his father's boat. The ice rink he made her when she was having a bad day. Walking out onto her front porch to see him unloading the chuppah he had made her for her wedding to Max.

The memories stabbed through her randomly, like so many red-hot knives. Even the smallest gestures showed how much he knew her and how well they fit together as a couple. But the big things, those were what did her in. And before she knew it, the tears were running down her cheeks and she was dragging boxes out of the garage.

Rory had convinced her not to get rid of everything that reminded her of Luke, reasoning that one day she would miss it. So she had stored it all in plain, unmarked cardboard boxes in the garage. Even the chuppah had been put into a back corner, standing sad and lonely for so many months. Lorelai herself never went in there, so she had few opportunities to dwell on those items she had banished from her life.

But as she pulled them all out again, she lost herself in the memories and coinciding emotions. Books, clothes, DVDs, and a hundred other items. There was a birdfeeder Luke had once filled for her, and in the process spilling the sugary liquid all over his pants. Paul Anka had followed him around for a week, and the incident had inspired Lorelai's "sugar toes" moment with Rory. There was the shirt of Luke's that she used to sleep in during cold winter months. An old hat he would wear when mowing the lawn. A porcelain figurine of a blue elephant her mother had once given her that had no connection to Luke except being the exact color of his eyes.

Sorting through the items, Lorelai realized that the reason the reminders of Luke hurt so much was not because they had painful connections, but rather due to the pleasant memories they evoked. Years of friendship, months of engagement. A thousand perfect moments with the one man in the world who seemed to understand her. And it was all gone. She had lost him.

The remaining numbness deserted her suddenly, and the wave of emotions she had been holding at bay came bubbling up. She fought the urge to cry but within seconds had to give up the fight for fear of choking herself with unexpressed sorrow. Her body shook violently as she began sobbing right there on the ground in front of the garage. She desperately held the flannel shirt to her chest, clinging to it like a lifeline as she finally allowed herself to experience the feelings of loss she had been hiding from for so long.

For a long time, Lorelai felt nothing but pain. Not the dull, aching feeling that eventually recedes into the background of an otherwise busy life. No, her body throbbed with a sharp, fresh ache. She had not thought the pain would be so acute, so very physical and real. But part of her was glad of the sensation. Finally, she was feeling something.

Maybe once she got through the agony, she would be able to heal.

But just as quickly as the thought occurred to her, Lorelai also realized that she did not _want_ to heal. She did not want to be over Luke. She had spent so much time pretending away her feelings, she wanted nothing more than to revel in her own misery for a while. After all, she had lost the love of her life, the only man she had ever really loved. She had lost him, and now she was all alone among her memories while he was taking Rachel up to his apartment.

Fresh tears emerged, although she had no idea from where. She idly wondered how long the human body could produce tears before it became impossible to cry any longer. Her sinuses had begun to clog up as each sob was accompanied by a sniffle. Rubbing futilely at her eyes, she felt certain she looked as terrible as she felt.

And then, she set eyes on her old turkey baster, the red rubber end sticking up out of a nearby box. She was immediately transported to the night she had spent watching Paul Anka when he was sick, worried about him and Rory both. Luke had found her there the next morning, huddled in the chair next to her dog. And he had not made fun of her for the baster or putting Paul Anka's jersey on him. He had merely sat beside her, giving her support and comfort with his words and gentle touch. She had been crying then too, the tears making her eyes red and blotchy. But his expression of concern never wavered.

Strong arms took hold of her shoulders from behind, and for a moment Lorelai was confused by the vividness of the memory. But within a second she realized that the touch was not only real but also very familiar.

Though she could not see him, his smell wrapped around her as securely as his arms, encasing her in irresistible warmth and security. She felt him press his face into her hair, and the motion unconsciously forced from her a deep, gut-wrenching sob. No longer sure if she cried from sadness or relief, she leaned back into him and put her arms around his, needing the contact he offered more than anything else.

Lorelai still had not actually seen his face as he knelt on the ground behind her. But she heard him whisper softly into her ear, "Its okay. Everything's going to be okay." Luke's voice was deep and soothing as he tried to hush her weeping. He kept one arm around her while the other made comforting motions, rubbing her arm or pulling her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear.

Gradually, she began to calm down and respond to his tender words and reassuring physical presence. Her deep sobs faded into sniffles, and the rivers of tears slowed to a bare trickle down her already soaked cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he asked her after a moment, and it was clear that he was not expecting an answer. He simply spoke so that she would hear him and know that he was there for her. "Maybe we should get you inside…"

Without further consultation, he readjusted his grip on her body and moved so that his face was in her field of vision. Lorelai only had a second to see unshed tears mirrored in his eyes before she felt herself being scooped up like a child and carried towards the house. She unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly even though she knew he would never drop her, no matter how awkward and heavy a burden she might prove.

Luke carried her easily, although he walked slowly as he took the steps one at a time and used his foot to push open the front door she had left open a crack in her earlier haste. He moved carefully through the foyer, twisting his body so that he would not bump her against the walls before arriving at the couch.

At first, he bent to set her down, but when she made no effort to disentangle her arms from his neck, he simply turned and sat down on the couch himself, gathering her into his lap. But as he settled himself, he felt her grip the collar of his shirt and heard her crying begin anew.

Lorelai attempted to speak, to explain herself or apologize, but the words came out garbled and unintelligible. Her tears kept getting in the way, but she refused to remove her hands from Luke's shirt to wipe at them. At the same time, she made a conscious effort not to stain his soft flannel shirt with unwanted moisture.

As the emotions that had wracked her so suddenly earlier began to die down, Lorelai was confronted by new feelings: disgust with herself for making such a scene, embarrassment at having been found by Luke, and astonished gratitude at his presence. She knew she should pull herself together and let him go, but she felt so good in his arms, so cherished and adored, that she simply could not bring herself to disengage.

Instead, once her voice began to return to her, she whispered simply, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Shh… it's okay. It's okay," he responded, and deep down, she believed him. If Luke said it was going to be okay, it would be okay. He would make it okay, if necessary. He always made everything okay.

She drifted to sleep in the safe comfort of his embrace.


	2. Morey Called

**Chapter 2: Morey Called**

* * *

As she awoke, Lorelai experienced the nagging sense that something was somehow _wrong_. As she opened her eyes, she noted that she was laying on the couch, a blanket tucked carefully around her. Nothing unusual there; she often slept on the couch, especially over the past few weeks. Her bed felt so empty sometimes that it was simply easier to fall asleep downstairs watching television with Paul Anka curled up on the floor beside her. 

But something was still wrong. Well, not wrong necessarily. Different. Something was different. But not bad different. In fact, if she had to put her finger on it, it was definitely a _good_ different. Something pleasant. Something… familiar, even.

There was an aroma coming from the kitchen. Not an odor really, because that implied something unwanted or objectionable. No, this smell reminded her of warmth, of quiet mornings, and laughter. It was breakfast – eggs, bacon, pancakes, and even _coffee_…

Coffee. Someone was in her kitchen making her breakfast and brewing coffee. Looking over the couch, Lorelai saw that the sun had set and twilight had begun giving way to complete darkness. Perhaps that was why something felt wrong – she was having breakfast for dinner.

Why was she having breakfast for dinner? And who was cooking her breakfast? No one she could think of knew how to cook except…

That afternoon came back to her in a flood of images. Luke had found her crying in the driveway and brought her inside. She had slept, although she had no idea how long, and now he was making her food. And coffee.

Her stomach growled a reminder that she had not eaten anything all day. In fact, since the divorce, she barely ate at all. A pop tart here, a snack from the Inn there. But no meals. Somehow, her numbness had blocked out the usual hunger pangs, leaving her with no appetite and pants that fit a little more loosely than she remembered.

Ignoring the embarrassment that tickled the back of her consciousness, Lorelai got off the couch and padded into the kitchen. The sight of Luke standing at her stove, spatula in hand, hit her like a physical blow. But she purposely ignored it, choosing instead to cross her arms protectively and watch the man in front of her.

As she entered the room, Luke glanced at her briefly before turning his attention back to the stove. He flipped a pancake before remarking, "I figured you might be hungry, so I'm making some food. You look like you haven't been eating much lately."

There was censure in his voice, and a note of concern. She knew not to argue with him when he used that tone.

"Thanks," Lorelai said meekly, dropping into the chair that faced him. She ran both hands over her face, feeling the puffiness still around her eyes and wondering how unattractive she looked. But at least she had gotten some sleep. And that painful, aching feeling that had gripped her earlier had dulled considerably. She could actually look at Luke, watch him make her breakfast like he used to, and not feel overcome with sadness and regret.

Mostly.

"I see you found the spatula," she commented quietly.

"Yeah, I noticed it in one of those boxes you had out in the yard, so I grabbed it," Luke said simply. Looking up from the stove, he added, "It looked like it might rain tonight so I went ahead and moved everything back in the garage so it wouldn't get ruined."

"Oh… thanks."

Neither knew what else to say, so they both lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, interrupted only by the crackling sound of bacon on the stove. But after a few minutes, even that died down as Luke transferred food to two plates and set them on the kitchen table with napkins and forks.

Wordlessly, he sat down opposite her to eat his own meal, seemingly oblivious to the strangeness of the situation. There they were, eating breakfast for dinner in her kitchen, surrounded by every reminder of their failed relationship. Lorelai darted her eyes at him nervously, then back at her plate as she picked at the delicious-looking meal.

She knew she was hungry, but somehow it seemed wrong to eat the food Luke had made for her. It was pity food, just as his being there was out of pity. He saw his ex-fiance sobbing in her driveway and came to rescue her. That was just the kind of thing Luke did.

But why had he even been there?

"So what were you doing on this side of town anyway?" she asked pointedly, cringing as she realized that the question came out harsher than she intended.

But Luke did not seem to notice. Taking a moment to finish chewing his food, he deliberately refused to look up as he answered, "I came to see you."

"Oh." Lorelai was left momentarily stunned by his response. But as she watched him continue to eat silently, his eyes focused on the plate in front of him, her curiosity got the better of her. "Why?"

He did not speak immediately, choosing instead to afford his food a maddening level of attention. Lorelai watched him eat as she waited for an answer, her own meal completely forgotten. But when Luke finally looked up, he focused on her plate rather than her face. "You're not eating," he said disapprovingly.

"Luke…"

"Eat your food."

"I want to know why you're here."

The edge in her voice prompted him to finally look up at her. It was the first time he had looked directly in her eyes all day, and she saw the crystal blue of his irises flash with some strong but unidentifiable emotion. The look he gave her was open and unguarded, and while she was compelled to turn away, she simply could not.

"You're not eating," he said again. For a few seconds she thought he was merely reiterating his earlier statement, but he continued, "You're not eating, you're not sleeping, you're wasting away. You know how I know? Because everyone in town is worried about you and everyone tells me. Sookie says you don't eat or drink anything except coffee. Miss Patty insists that you've dropped fifteen pounds in the last three weeks. Babette told me your lights are on half the night and you always look exhausted.

"Then today Morey calls me to say he saw you out the window having some sort of break-down in your front yard. _Morey_. Morey's never called me. I've never heard him say more than five words together. But suddenly I get this phone call and he's telling me that you're sitting outside, surrounded by boxes and crying like somebody died. What was I supposed to do?"

"So you came over out of pity," she surmised, sounding more sad than angry.

Luke sighed in frustration. "I came to check on you, Lorelai. We may have broken up, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I'm surprised I have to tell you that."

She was quiet for a moment, unable to come up with a reply that would not sound hollow to her own ears. Of course he cared about her. He was Luke – he made her a chuppah when he thought she was getting married to another man. He lent her money for the inn. Over the years, he had helped out with half of the odd jobs at her work and everything that needed fixing at her house. Of course he would come if someone told him she was in trouble.

But that didn't mean he loved her.

"So how's Rachel?" she asked casually, taking a bite of the meal he had made her. She stared down at her food to avoid his gaze.

If Luke was surprised by the non-sequitor, he did not show it. "She's actually not doing so great. Her dad died yesterday, and she flew in for the funeral." He paused to let Lorelai digest this information. She looked up at him in surprise and meek understanding as he continued on. "There's not much room for her to stay at her parents house and she didn't want to get a hotel room in Hartford, so I offered to let her stay with me for a few days."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said. "I didn't realize…"

"It's okay. I don't think it was a big shock to anyone. He'd been sick for a long time."

Lorelai nodded, not sure what else to say. Knowing how upset she had felt when her own father was in the hospital, she could truly sympathize with Rachel's loss. It certainly put her own problems into perspective.

"Shouldn't you be there with her?" she asked after a moment, suddenly aware of having taken up so much of his time.

But Luke shook his head. "She's over at her parents' place, most likely. She just needed somewhere to stay while she's in town."

Neither of them spoke for a while as they finished the breakfast he had made. The silence hung around them with the weight of a thousand unspoken words, making the air thick with tension. It pressed upon Lorelai, weighing her down as it threatened to set off the wave of emotions she had fallen victim to earlier in the day. And sitting there with him, sharing a meal he had made her countless times before, served as a painful demonstration of what she no longer had.

If Luke noticed her discomfort, he ignored it. Instead, he simply ate quietly while maintaining a deliberately neutral expression. He seemed thoughtful, almost, as if his thoughts were elsewhere entirely. Lorelai wondered if he was thinking about April; he always seemed distracted when she was on his mind. He had spent months acting distant and isolated from her as he struggled to come to terms with his sudden fatherhood. The look on his face as he finished off the last of his eggs and toast served as a hurtful reminder of the events leading to their break-up.

But Lorelai quickly discovered that April was not the person he was thinking about.

"So, I noticed you had a lot of boxes of stuff out there," he remarked, leaning back in the chair and folding his arms across his chest. "I can take it to the Salvation Army if you want to get rid of it."

"I don't want to get rid of it," she said without thinking. He may as well have suggested she give up Paul Anka to the humane society.

"It's cluttering up your garage. Doesn't look like you want it."

Lorelai insisted, "I don't _not_ want it."

"It's all boxed up like you're ready to throw it out."

"It's all boxed up because I don't want it in the house right now. But that doesn't mean I don't want to keep it. If I wanted to throw it out, I would have already."

Luke's expression turned from mildly inquisitive to severe. "Why keep it around if you don't want it in the house? You really think you're ever going to bring it back into the house?"

Feeling confused by the situation and his sudden irritation with her storage methods, Lorelai replied, "I don't know, maybe I will. Or maybe I'll throw it out someday. But right now, I want to keep it and I don't want to keep it in the house, so it lives in the garage. After all, I do have plenty of room out there."

"That was your choice," he shot back, anger coating his voice at the reminder of what she used to store in her garage - their garage.

"Yes it was," she said, mirroring his tone. "And I don't have to explain myself to you. If I want to keep everything that reminds me of you in boxes in my garage, or up in the attic, or out in the woods somewhere, that's my decision and you don't have the right to make me feel bad about it."

Abandoning her food and the conversation, Lorelai pushed herself out of the chair and stalked out of the room. She heard an accompanying scrape of the other chair as Luke followed her, but she was not prepared for how quickly he would catch up. She had barely reached the foot of the stairs when he spun her around to face him, keeping two steadying hands on her shoulders.

"What are you-" was all she got out before her breath was stolen by his lips on hers. Luke kissed her with an almost primal intensity, his hands held like anchors on her body to keep her from getting away. Even if her rational mind were functioning enough to insist on backing away from him, her body responded to him out of long-ingrained habit. Shivers of pleasure went up her spine as she relaxed against him.

Lorelai did not kiss him back immediately, but that did not seem to deter him in the slightest. He simply kissed her harder, with more passion and desperation than she had ever experienced from him. It felt as though all the longing and anguish of the past year were distilled into that kiss. She was not aware of moving, but suddenly she felt her back hit the staircase behind them. And then she was kissing him back.

He must have let her arms go because they were wrapped around his neck and her chest was pressed flush against him. The familiar prickle of his stubble alighted her skin as his scent filled the rest of her senses. Minutes could have been hours as she clung to him, her need triumphing over caution. But she could sense the same struggle alive inside of Luke – he kissed her in spite of his own hesitation, perhaps to spite it. It was as though they both knew and understood the hundred reasons that what they were doing was wrong and dangerous, but neither cared anymore.

Luke pushed himself away from her with such force and haste that Lorelai was left momentarily breathless in the wake of her own surprise. She stared at him as he stood a few feet from her, breathing heavily from their exertions.

"Stuff that reminds you of me?" he asked in a voice so thick with emotion that she could barely understand him. Her brow crinkled at the reference to their earlier conversation, so far back in her mind that it seemed like a dream.

"Yeah..." she confirmed slowly, confused by the question. "It's all stuff that reminds me of you, so I put it out in the garage… so I wouldn't have to look at it every day."

"Because it reminded you of me," he repeated, and she could see the words starting to sink in.

"Yeah." She glanced at the floor, feeling uncomfortable and bewildered by what had just happened. Had he just kissed her? Had that really happened? She felt certain it had because she could still feel the warmth coursing through her veins and the tingling on her skin where he had touched her. So why was Luke back to interrogating her on the contents of her garage?

"Lorelai, you have a lot of stuff out there. I counted at least twenty, twenty-five boxes," he pointed out.

She pursed her lips in irritation. "Well, what did you expect, exactly? You were a big part of my life for a long time. Everything reminds me of you. I might as well have put this entire house in a cardboard box and been done with it."

"Then why didn't you?"

It was the question of the hour, the question of the year and perhaps even the decade. Why hadn't she moved away? Why hadn't she sold the house and left Star's Hollow? She married another man, moved him into her life just as quickly as she had moved Luke out. But she had not left the familiar surroundings of the house Luke had put so many hours of labor into and so much money remodeling.

Her voice betrayed how tired and weak she felt. "I didn't want to."

"And the stuff in the garage, the stuff that reminds you of me, why didn't you throw that out?"

"I already told you – I didn't want to!"

His gaze bore into her with such intensity that she could almost feel her skin burning in response. But his presence kept her locked in place, unable to move or escape the awkward moment or to avoid his probing questions.

"Then why were you crying today?" he demanded angrily, his frustration growing. "If you weren't crying for him, over his things, then why were you crying?"

The pieces fell into place as Lorelai finally understood his thought processes. He was surprised that she still had Luke boxes, that she would still be mourning the loss of _him_ even after her divorce from another man. The frustration of loving him – still loving him, despite everything – was on the verge of threatening her sanity.

"Why do you care?" she shouted back at him, the uncontrollable sobs from earlier threatening to reappear. "You're over it. You've moved on. Why do you care what I do or why I cry? Because you 'care about me'? If you cared about me, you would have cared that I was _dying_ inside. Where were you then, when I needed you?"

He took a step towards her, the anger instantly melting away at the sight of her tears. "I didn't know," he confessed. "I'm sorry, but I didn't know." She did not resist him as he gently wrapped his arms around her and whispered into her hair, "I didn't know, Lorelai."

"I'm sorry," came her muffled reply, thick with emotion and tears. "I'm so sorry."

Lorelai clung to him in desperation as she cried, needing him in that moment as much as she had earlier in the day or even that terrible night the previous year. And for a time, they stood just holding each other, and it was not about comfort or love or even reconciliation. Rather, the contact was about pure _need_. She needed him, and he needed her, despite all the pain and unhappiness they had each wrought.

But after standing there so closely for several moments, something snapped inside of Lorelai. She kissed him suddenly, as frantically as he had kissed her before. Artlessly, she stroked her hands down his chest until reaching his belt, which she tugged at in desperation. Ignoring the tears that stained her cheeks, she let her lips drift to his neck as her hands fiddled with the leather strap and metal buckle.

If she heard him say her name questioningly, nervously, she gave no indication. Instead, she continued her frenzied movements, giving up on the belt to turn her attention to unbuttoning his flannel shirt instead. Her hands were shaking as she tried to force the buttons through the holes, and she found herself giving the task her full attention.

"Lorelai, stop," she heard distantly, but ignored the insistent voice. She needed him so badly, and she just knew that if she could get his shirt off, everything would be okay. But the little plastic buttons were slippery in her hands and resisted all her efforts to get them through the tiny holes. And she was finding it more and more difficult to see with the moisture clouding her eyes and the sobs wracking her body.

Finally, Luke grabbed both of her hands in one of his and held them still against his chest. Then he reached up to wipe away her tears before leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry I wasn't there," he whispered softly as she bowed her head miserably. "Please stop crying."

"I'm sorry I hurt you," she answered, and the defeated tone she used nearly brought him to his knees. He felt her try to move her hands, but he kept a firm grip on them as he reached around to hold her against his body. The position was awkward, but it forced her to look into his eyes. When she did so, he saw the full extent of her misery. "I'm so sorry, Luke," she said again.

He did not let her move until the last of her tears had been shed, and only then it was to readjust their position. He took one of her hands in his and put the other at her waist, letting her head settle in a natural position against his shoulder. And as Luke began swaying slightly back and forth, letting both of their bodies move to inaudible music, he felt her relax against him.

_To be continued..._


	3. Stay With Me

A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews.

**Chapter 3: Stay With Me**

* * *

They stood together for a long time, neither really wanting to move but each conscious of time passing. Lorelai knew they needed to talk, to discuss everything that had passed between them. But at the same time, she had no desire to confront the ugliness of the situation, her own actions as well as his. It was enough to know that he was there, that he was real and warm and solid, and he was not going to leave her. 

"I never stopped loving you," she said almost casually. "I tried to, but you can't really just stop something like that. So I ignored it. I buried it, packed it up in boxes and stuck it out in the garage." She felt him tense as she continued on, "When I was with Chris, I convinced myself that it was true, that I didn't love you, because it hurt too much. I tried to make it work with him because I thought I was getting what I wanted. And I did it because I thought I couldn't have you, at least not the way I wanted you.

"I know I hurt you," she said, her voice cracking at the intensity of the words. "And I will never _ever_ forgive myself for that. But I thought we were over. I thought you didn't love me, didn't want me the way I wanted you. It hurt too much to keep holding onto that, so I had to let it go. I'm so sorry, Luke."

She loosened her grip, as though to let him step away from her. His body had grown incredibly tense, but she resisted the urge to look up at his face, unable to deal with whatever emotion she might see there – anger, resentment, pain. But he did not pull away.

"You thought I didn't love you?" he repeated, incredulous rather than angry.

"You kept April away from me, and we postponed the wedding," Lorelai answered. "And then when you wouldn't elope, I thought… Luke, you've always held me up on this pedestal. You carried around that horoscope for so long, and then after everything at my parents' vow renewal… It must felt like maybe I wasn't what you wanted after all. I mean, you found out you had this beautiful little girl that you never knew about, and instead of coming to me to talk about it or to rant about being kept from her or for advise, you just didn't tell me.

"And then when I did find out, you didn't want me around. And I didn't understand _why_, Luke. I still don't. We were supposed to get married, and you didn't want me there because you thought she'd _like_ me more? It just seemed like, once you had someone else there to focus your attention on, someone else who was special to you, you didn't really need me any more-"

"I have _always_ needed you," Luke interrupted finally. "Every damn day, I need you. That hasn't changed. With April, I just…" He trailed off, desperate to explain but unable to articulate himself. He glanced down at her to try to gauge her expression, but she had closed her eyes in an effort to fight back another wave of tears. "After watching you take care of Rory by yourself for so long, I felt like a hypocrite for not having been there for April."

"You didn't know." She said it so simply, absolving him of guilt like she had so often with Rory's father. It almost made him angry. Almost.

"It doesn't matter if I knew. I should have been there. April grew up without a father because I wasn't there, because Anna thought I would be such a terrible dad that April would be better off with no dad at all."

"She was wrong," Lorelai stated strongly. "You're an amazing father."

"I wasn't in the beginning. I didn't have any idea what I was doing. And I guess I just wanted to prove that Anna was wrong, that I had something to offer April, that I could play some role in her life…" He sighed deeply. "I messed up. I didn't think about how you would feel by not letting you be a part of it. All I thought about was you seeing me screw up with April and showing that Anna was right all along. And then, I was afraid that if you were there, April would only want to spend time with me because she liked you. Watching you and Rory over the years, I can't imagine any kid not wanting to be around you more than me."

"Luke, you've always been a good father. Even with Rory, you were there for her when she needed you. With Jess and Liz and even Kirk, you take care of everyone around you," she said. "And you were doing such a good job with April, going on field trips and helping her with her homework. I just wanted to be part of it, and it really felt like I was never going to be, like you didn't really want me to be in that part of your life."

When she stopped speaking, Lorelai felt herself reliving the desperation of those last few months with Luke. She had tried so hard not to push him, not to make the same mistakes she had made before. But it had all fallen apart anyway.

"So you slept with Christopher."

The hurt in his voice hit her as poignantly as the lingering anger.

"And I married him." She said it as an acknowledgement rather than a challenge. There was no point in trying to ignore the issue. "I thought that's what I wanted, what would make me happy, but I was wrong. He was wrong. It was all wrong."

She felt Luke nod his head slightly as he said carefully, "Yeah, I heard about the divorce. I sort of figured that's why you haven't been eating or sleeping lately."

"Yeah," she responded, not particularly wanting to talk about the end of her marriage to Chris while standing in Luke's arms. But there were questions in his voice, questions he deserved to have answered. "We both knew it wasn't right. I tried so hard to make myself love him, but… it wasn't right. And he was tired of being my second choice."

"Oh."

Silence stretched out between them, but Luke still did not stop the rhythmic movement of their gentle swaying. The slow dance had an almost hypnotic effect on Lorelai, lulling her into a cocoon of safety and security despite the odd circumstances. It was something only he could accomplish.

"You getting tired?" he asked after a while.

"Mmm, yeah. You?" she murmured, not wanting to lose the contact but also not wanting to monopolize his entire night if he had to leave.

"I'm okay."

Instead of letting go of her, he brought up the hand that had been resting on her waist to stroke her hair. It was the barest of touches, but it felt incredibly intimate to Lorelai, as much so as when he had kissed her earlier.

"I wasn't crying about him," she said, answering his earlier question. "Up until this morning, I didn't really feel anything about the divorce. I was sad that I failed in my marriage, but I wasn't that upset about losing Christopher. I knew it wasn't right, the two of us."

"Then why were you crying?" he pursued.

"Because I lost you." She paused, letting the words sink in before adding, "I guess it hit me all of a sudden. I kept myself so distracted before, I wouldn't let myself think about it. But I was out there looking at everything that reminded me of you, and I realized that the best parts of my life from the last ten years were sitting in boxes in my garage. And there was nothing I could do about it."

Luke sighed. "Lorelai, what do you want? What do you really want?"

This time, she pulled away slightly, startling him as she lifted her head to look directly in his eyes. "I want you. As a diner owner, as a friend, as a lover… whatever I can get." Ignoring the slightly sickening feeling of terror that threatened to overwhelm her, she asked, "What do you want, Luke?"

He hesitated only a second before answering, "I want you."

His lips met hers in a tender caress, so gentle that she sighed in pleasure at the sensation. But rather than deepening the kiss, he moved to press his lips to her forehead, the bridge of her nose, and each temple. He kissed her cheeks where her tears had dried some time before and then along her jaw line. Just as she had begun losing patience with the light flutter of his lips on her skin, he returned to her mouth, seeking entrance with a soft brush of his tongue.

She acquiesced gladly, and he explored her with the same deliberate patience and persistence. He did so not with a lack of passion, but without the desperation they had both experienced before. It felt like the first time they had kissed on the porch of the Dragonfly, tentative and tender, but also full of longing and unspoken desire. He kissed her like a man who planned to spend the rest of his life doing just that.

"You should get to bed," he said softly, pulling back just enough to speak. Lorelai was so mesmerized by his voice, deep and provocative, that she took a moment to respond.

"Luke?" she asked quietly, apprehension giving way to full-on nervousness. "What happens now?"

"Now we do what we should have done from the beginning. We do whatever it takes to make it work."

She smiled at his certainty. Luke had always been her rock, her foundation of practicality and realism. He kept her grounded when everything else threatened to launch her into the sky. Knowing that he once again believed in _them_ convinced her that they could reclaim their former relationship. The possibility was there as long as Luke was willing to try.

"Stay with me tonight?" Lorelai said. The plea sounded pathetic to her own ears, but she could not stop herself from asking. Part of her feared that she would only awaken to find out everything had been a dream, and she would have lost him all over again.

Luke's answer was tinged with regret. "I don't think that's such a good idea. If this is going to work, we need to take it slow. _I_ need to take it slow."

She found herself nodding in agreement before he finished, not wanting to pressure him when the idea of a new start to their relationship was so new and fragile. But then, she was hit by a rush of giddy pleasure, and she shot him a coy grin. "Not too slow, I hope," she said.

He snorted in wry amusement. "Not too slow," he agreed before leaning in to kiss her one last time. "Come by the diner tomorrow?"

"I'll be there."

And for the first time in what felt like hours, he pulled away from her completely as he backed towards the front door. Her body felt strangely empty and cold without his arms around her, and from his sad expression, she could tell that he noticed it too.

"Goodnight," he told her before turning towards the door. But as he reached out to turn the knob, Luke hesitated.

He knew that he should leave, should give her time and space to think about everything they had discussed. He certainly needed some perspective. But everything about leaving felt wrong. They had been physically separated for a matter of seconds, and already he missed her – her touch, her laugh, the way she fit into his arms, the brush of her hair across his face…

She must have understood his indecision because he heard her say, "When I asked you to 'stay,' I didn't mean… we don't have to... tonight. We could just sleep. If you want to stay. I mean, you don't have to, but if you want…" She sounded so unsure of herself, so careful and shy – nothing like the Lorelai he knew.

Turning back to her slowly, Luke saw the hopeful (and nervous) anticipation written across her face. He also noticed the way she kept her arms wrapped around herself, as though she felt suddenly cold.

"Okay," he heard himself agree.

"Okay?" she echoed in confusion.

"I'll stay."

Her face lit up in pleasure, confirming that he was doing the right thing. Lorelai looked happier than he had seen her in a long time. The shadow of sadness that haunted her eyes had almost entirely faded, and the forced determination in her jaw melted into her more typical pout. Indeed, her whole body relaxed a little at his answer, and as he returned to where she stood, she reached out a confident hand to lead him toward the stairs.

"There's something you should know," she remarked as they made their way to the second floor.

"What's that?"

"Paul Anka sleeps with me now." She said it teasingly, but he knew she was serious. As much as he had put up with regarding her dog, Luke had never allowed the canine to share their bed.

"Well, he'll have to get used to the floor again," he remarked gruffly in response. They had reached her room, and indeed, Paul Anka was curled up on the foot of the bed. And while the comforter looked new, the furniture and arrangement was exactly the same as before. Luke had not seen her room in almost a year, and he felt very strange stepping into the space so recently occupied by his rival.

Lorelai sensed his reluctance immediately as well as the reason for it. "We don't have to stay here," she told him. "We can go downstairs or back to your apartment…"

"Rachel's staying at my apartment," he stated matter-of-factly, unable to take his eyes from the bed. He could not fight the barrage of images that flooded his memory, images of her and Christopher walking hand-in-hand through town. Images of whatever they did in that bed.

"Then we can go to the inn, or…" She fought to keep the panic out of her voice, but the pained expression Luke wore was too much for her. "This is too soon," she stated.

"No, it's fine," he said, although it clearly was not.

"Luke, please…" Her pleading tone caught his attention, dragging his eyes away from the bed. All the tension in her body had returned, and she seemed determined to protect him, to make him comfortable, to do whatever was necessary to make things right.

Taking a decisive step forward, Luke took the edge of the comforter and began to yank it off the bed. Paul Anka, frightened by the sudden disturbance, jumped off and reclaimed his doggy pillow in the corner. Dragging the blanket into a pile on the far side of the room, Luke turned and walked down the hall to the linen closet. When he returned, he carried two of his old sleeping bags. Lorelai simply stood by and watched as he untied them and zipped them together to create one large sleeping bag, which he spread out over the top of the bed.

By the time he was done, his stance had softened and he looked more at ease in the room. He held out a hand to Lorelai, which she gladly accepted, and he led her towards the re-made bed, pausing only to take both of their shoes off and let her slide into the large sleeping bag first.

Lorelai did not protest that they were both still wearing their clothes, or that his choice of sleeping arrangements smelled slightly of moth balls. Instead, she just settled her head against the pillow and sighed in contentment as he wrapped a protective arm around her waist. "We can go shopping tomorrow," she whispered into the darkness.

"I hate furniture shopping," he grumbled in response, but she could sense his agreement.

"And maybe, at some point… I have the name of a good realtor…" She wanted to assure him, to demonstrate her willingness to compromise. So much had happened since the last time they had shared that bed, and she wanted to do her part to make things work again. And in the long run, Lorelai realized that there was very little she was unwilling to give up in exchange for a lifetime of nights spent in Luke's arms.

He mumbled sleepily, "We can talk about it later."

As they settled against each other and their breathing stilled into an even rhythm, Paul Anka scrambled back onto the bottom of the bed. He repositioned himself at the edge, but laid his head along the top of Luke's foot. Luke, too tired to fight the dog, simply pulled Lorelai a little tighter before falling asleep.

tbc


	4. All Eyes

**Chapter 4: All Eyes**

* * *

When she awoke the next morning, Lorelai was conscious of the fact that the warm body lying next to her had a lot more hair than she remembered. Reaching out an arm, she confirmed that Paul Anka's soft fur was in the place where Luke had slept the night before. Confused, she opened her eyes and quickly spotted a note laying on the pillow by her head, above the sleeping dog. 

_Lorelai, I had to open the diner this morning, and I didn't want to wake you. Come by later for some coffee and we can talk. – L_

She smiled at the note, relieved that the night before had not been just a pleasant, emotion-filled dream. And it was then that she noticed something – she felt normal. She felt like herself again, light and care-free. Gone was the guilt that had weighed on her, the remorse over ending her relationship with Luke, and the shame of her failed marriage to Christopher. Instead, she simply felt hungry – hungry and energized.

Sensing her excitement to begin the new day, Paul Anka followed her downstairs to the kitchen where Luke had left her a small bag of donuts with the words EAT ME printed on the outside in his bold handwriting. He had also left her coffee pot percolating, and it smelled temptingly of his coffee from the diner. Pouring herself a cup and sitting down at the table to eat breakfast, Lorelai picked up the phone and began dialing a familiar number.

"Hey, Rory, what are you doing this weekend…? Well, I was hoping you would go with me to do some furniture shopping…"

* * *

Two hours later, Lorelai walked the familiar route through town towards the diner, greeting people as she passed them, exchanging pleasantries with Taylor and waving to Miss Patty across the square. But she slowed as she neared the diner, uncertainty creeping its way up her spine. She could not help but remember the last time she had entered that door, hysterical and miserable over the state of their relationship. If she turned, she could picture herself walking back down the street after Luke refused to elope with her.

It was a big step, going back into the diner. By doing so, she would be telling everyone - herself, Luke, the whole town - that things had really changed between them. The thought of becoming the town's intense focus yet again made her hesitate, as did the knowledge that once she crossed that threshold, there really was no going back.

"You going to stand there all day or are you coming in?" came a voice behind her.

Luke stood with the door open behind him, one eyebrow arched in question with his arms folded across his chest.

"I was just… Yeah, I'm coming in," she answered, feeling herself blush as she brushed past him.

As Lorelai found an open seat at the counter, she was conscious of the way the rest of the patrons refused to look at her. Even Kirk, who occupied the stool next to her, kept his gaze straight ahead, focused entirely on the "No Cell Phones" sign posted on the wall.

"Hello, Lorelai," he greeted her. "Nice to see you back in here again."

"Hey, Kirk." She smiled at him, amused at his staring-straight-ahead act. "Have a problem with your neck?"

"Well, when it became clear a few minutes ago that you may come into the diner, everyone was looking out the window at you. So Luke yelled at us – me in particular – not to look at you or he'd throw us all out." Lorelai's eyes immediately went to Luke, who had resumed his normal place behind the counter.

"I told you not to stare at her," he grumbled at Kirk. "I didn't say you couldn't look at her."

"No, you said not to look, that it would make her uncomfortable. You were quite clear on this point." He cocked his head to one side as he squinted a little at the sign. "Besides, the more I look at it, the more it seems like your sign is different from the way it used to be."

"It's the same sign, Kirk."

"It looks different."

"Try blinking, Kirk," Lorelai suggested.

The other man did so, once, then twice. "Nope, still looks like a different sign."

"Get out of here Kirk." Watching first to make sure the other man did as he was told, Luke pulled out his order pad and glanced across at Lorelai. "What'll it be?"

"Just coffee."

"No food?" he frowned, still concerned about her lack of appetite.

"Well, I would order food, but since the donut fairy stopped by my house this morning, I think I'm set for a few hours," she said teasingly.

"Coffee it is, then."

Luke brought her a cup of the familiar black beverage before moving on to assist other customers. Zach came to chat with her, excited to see her in the diner again and to get her input on Lane's pregnancy and child-rearing in general. Eventually Luke shooed him away, wanting a few minutes to himself with her.

"So, how're you doing?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "But this feels a little weird." Despite Luke's admonishment, everyone in the diner (and several people outside) had hushed their conversations upon seeing the two of them talking together over the counter.

"It'll get better," he told her.

"What about you? How's Rachel doing?"

"She's okay. She ended up spending last night with her mom, actually. I got a call from her this morning. The funeral is this afternoon."

"Oh. Are you going with her?" Lorelai asked, keeping her voice neutral despite the jealousy that welled up.

"Nah, I'd just get in the way. It's kind of a small family thing, and her dad never liked me much anyway."

She nodded in understanding. "So, did you have any plans tonight?" she asked tentatively.

Luke shook his head. "Not really. Zach's been wanting extra hours, so I can let him close up. Why? Did you have something in mind?"

"I just thought that maybe we could go out to dinner. You know, talk about stuff…" She quickly added, "…if you want."

"Sounds good. Pick you up at seven?"

"Seven's good." Lorelai felt awkward as she made her way to the door, accidentally bumping into the person beside her as she got off the stool. She left a dollar on the counter even though Luke shook his head and shoved it back at her. Then she backed into the door as someone opened it to enter behind her, causing the bell to jingle more forcefully than normal. "Seven," she repeated to Luke. "I'll see you."

He smiled and gave her a quick wave in response before picking up the dollar she had left on the counter and dropping it into Lane and Zach's tip jar.

* * *

Nine hours and four changes of clothes later, Lorelai felt so nervous that she swore she had managed to bump into everything in her house at least once. She had also broken two glasses, Paul Anka's water bowl, and the handle on the toilet. Were it any other day, she would have simply cursed her luck and crawled back into bed. Instead, she had emptied the contents of her wardrobe onto her bed – now adorned with a brand new light blue comforter and matching sheets – in search of the perfect _third_ 'First Date With Luke' outfit. 

Sick of all the black that had migrated into her closet, she settled on a dark purple dress that complemented her hair color which she had bought the week before. She liked the garment because it had no memories attached to it except that the teenager who rang up her credit card at the store called her "ma'am." All the rest of her clothes either reminded her of Christopher or Luke, although most of the latter were still in boxes in the garage. Lorelai made a mental note to start sorting through those boxes as soon as possible.

At seven o'clock exactly, she heard the doorbell ring and scampered down the stairs as she shouted, "I'm coming!" She felt her heart beating extraordinarily fast as she reached for the door knob, hoping Luke had not changed his mind about trying to make things work between the two of them.

However, it was not Luke.

"Lorelai, oh my God, I just heard the news!" Sookie exclaimed as soon as she opened the door.

Lorelai was instantly confused. "What news?"

"You went into the diner and talked to Luke – that's so great!"

"Oh… well, actually-"

Sookie interrupted, walking towards the kitchen as she said, "I mean, lets face it, I always knew you two would start to fix things and get back together. Which isn't to say that's going to happen right away. But honey, this is such a big step, and I'm so proud of you!"

"Sookie, I was going to tell you-"

The doorbell rang again, interrupting Lorelai and catching her friend's attention. "Who's that?" she asked. Then a look of horrified understanding passed over her face. "Oh, you have a date. I can't believe I didn't think of you having a date."

Lorelai tried to explain, "Actually, I do have a date-"

"I'm so sorry! Here, I come in going on and on about you and Luke, and you're going out with someone new-"

"It's not someone new. It's Lu-"

The doorbell rang once more, and Lorelai threw up her hands in frustration. Abandoning her conversation with Sookie, she strode purposefully towards the front door, pulling it open without the hesitation she felt earlier. While she was not surprised to see Luke there waiting for her, she was shocked that not only was he wearing one of the two suits he owned (without the tie), but also that he was carrying a small bouquet of flowers.

"Hey," she said, smiling at him in pure delight.

"Hey," Luke said back in a low, sexy tone that made her go a little weak in the knees. But then he looked past her and said, "Hey, Sookie. How're you doing?"

Lorelai turned to see her best friend standing in the doorway, staring at them with a cat-ate-the-canary grin. "Hi, Luke," she said in a voice that could only be described as 'giddy.' "I just came over to talk to Lorelai. But, it looks like ya'll have plans- I mean, not that she told me that, I just showed up here and now you're here, and you're all dressed up, so I assume you have plans… Or not." Glancing between Luke and Lorelai, neither of whom seemed willing to give any further details for the gossip mill, she quickly walked past them out the front door, adding a quick, "Well, I gotta go. Jackson and the kids… the Inn… cake's melting… you two have fun!"

"Bye, Sookie!" Lorelai called after her as she shut the front door. Turning back to Luke, she felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment as she explained, "She just kind of showed up, and then she wouldn't stop talking, and I-"

"It's okay. After you left the diner this morning, I had a few people stop by to see me as well." Holding out the flowers to her, he said more quietly, "These are for you."

"They're beautiful, Luke."

Accepting the bouquet of what looked to be a half dozen long-stemmed roses, she leaned forward to kiss him before realizing the possible inappropriateness of her action. But as she paused, he recognized what she was doing and moved to kiss her as well. The result was an awkward pause and false-start as each tried to anticipate the other's intensions but doing so an instant too late. In the end, Lorelai kissed him on the cheek, then timidly started to back away from him before he decisively sought out her mouth for a more proper kiss, letting his lips linger on hers for a second more than was necessary.

"I guess that's one of those things we're going to have to work on," she remarked in amusement.

"Guess so," Luke agreed. While his slight grin echoed her light-hearted feelings, his eyes were dark with arousal, and Lorelai had trouble remembering what she was supposed to be doing. Something about…

"Flowers…" Glancing down, she remembered the roses he had brought her. "I should put these in water." Turning away from him, she walked straight into the coat rack, hitting her head on one of the out-stretched arms.

Chuckling at her sudden clumsiness, so reminiscent of when they had first started dating, Luke put both hands on her shoulders to guide her into the kitchen. "You really need to relax," he told her, leading her to a chair while he sought out one of the vases she kept in her cabinet and filled it with water.

"It's just been one of those days, I guess," she said by way of explanation.

"So, are you hungry?"

"Famished."

"Then let's go." Following her back into the entry way, he waited as she gathered up her purse and a light sweater. And as she locked the door behind them, she reached out a hand to gently grasp the sleeve of his jacket.

"Luke? Thank you for the roses." This time, she kissed him on the lips without hesitation before allowing him to walk her to his truck.


	5. The Third First Date

A/N: Just wanted to give out another round of thank you's to everyone who has reviewed this story. I've come to decide that reviews really are better than chocolate. Well... almost. They definitely tie. Anyways, thanks for all the great comments and feedback!

**Chapter 5: The Third First Date**

* * *

While the restaurant he took her to was fancy, it was not exorbitantly expensive either. But the food was delicious, and the atmosphere was quiet enough to allow them to talk without interruption.

They discussed the easy things at first – how April liked her new school, the possibility of Rory moving away, Sookie's surprise pregnancy, and so forth. Luke related the details of his weekend with Liz, TJ, and baby Doula, an experience he both enjoyed somewhat and hoped to never repeat.

After a while, they started delving into the more difficult subjects. Lorelai talked about Christopher, even though the mere mention of his name caused Luke to tense involuntarily. She had trouble meeting his eyes as she described the trip to Paris and their decision to elope. But Lorelai tried to be as honest as possible, even when it seemed to hurt Luke more to hear the gory details.

In return, he shared with her his feelings about April and his experience with fatherhood in general. Once again explaining his desire to prove himself without her help, he also reiterated how much he had wanted to show her that he was not the dead-beat that Anna had assumed.

"I just needed more time to work through it on my own," he stated sharply.

"And I was trying to give you time," Lorelai sighed. "But why did it have to be on your own? Why couldn't we have dealt with it together?"

"I told you, I didn't want April to like-"

"-me more. Yes, I've heard that line before. It's still crap, Luke. We were engaged, as in 'about to be married.'"

"I know what engaged means," he growled.

"Well then what does it mean to you? Because to me it means sharing your life with the person you're about to marry, the good and the bad," she said forcefully.

"I panicked, okay? I didn't tell you when I found out about April because I was afraid of what you'd think of me, that I had this daughter out there and never knew about her."

"Oh, Luke…"

"And I've apologized for that over and over again. It's not like I did it deliberately, to hurt you. It's not like I went out and slept with someone else just to get back at you."

Lorelai's eyes flashed with anger. "That's not what happened."

"Oh really? I wouldn't run off and elope, I wouldn't jump right then, so you go to him?" Luke asked it accusingly, but she could tell that his resentment was fueled more by hurt than anger.

"I thought we were over. I _needed_ us to be over. God, Luke, what did you expect? You let me walk away. You didn't _fight_ for me."

"We had an argument, Lorelai. People don't break up after one stupid argument!"

"It wasn't just one argument," she said in exasperation. "It was months and months of you pulling away from me, of excluding me from your life. You stopped sleeping at the house, you postponed the wedding-"

"Only after you offered," he pointed out.

"And I offered because you made it out to be this great burden in your life that you couldn't deal with," she retorted.

Suddenly, there was a head waiter standing next to their table, an expression of annoyance plastered across his face. "Excuse me," the man said with false politeness, "but could you keep it down? The other guests are starting to complain about your little… disagreement. Perhaps you should take it outside if you want to continue fighting?"

"Sorry, we'll keep it down," Luke assured him, and Lorelai nodded in agreement. They exchanged chagrined glances as the waiter walked away.

"I thought I wanted to get married," she said quietly after a moment of silence. "But what I found out with Chris was that marriage isn't what I wanted. Just _being_ married isn't really what I wanted. I wanted to marry you, Luke. I wanted to be Mrs. Lorelai Gilmore-Danes, or Mrs. Danes, or whatever I decided to go with. But I got to the point where I just knew it wasn't going to happen."

As she continued speaking, she deliberately kept her voice low, speaking almost so softly that Luke strained to hear her at points. "You know that story about me getting drunk at Lane's wedding and singing a song? Didn't happen. I gave a toast – a really embarrassing, drunken toast where I told everyone in town that I wasn't ever going to get married. I mean, if my fiancé wasn't ready for me to meet his daughter, this girl that he'd introduce to everyone else in town, including _Rory_… if you weren't ready for _me_ to meet her, how were you ever going to be ready to _marry_ me? That's a big commitment, Luke, and the way you were acting, I just didn't see it happening."

Luke's tone was gentle as admonished, "You should have said something. You should have _made_ me see how upset you were."

"_I tried_," she insisted. "When we went to Martha's Vineyard, I tried to tell you how I felt. And you told me you loved me and we were getting married. But then nothing changed; everything kept going on like normal. Except, it wasn't normal. It just got worse and worse until, when I finally thought it was getting better when you including me in April's party, it got worse again with Anna exploding over me even being there. And it seemed like even she knew you didn't want to marry me."

"Anna doesn't know anything," Luke told her sharply, then his voice became softer. "I did want to marry you. You were like this dream for me, this great, perfect thing that I couldn't screw up. But I got so focused on April and making sure I didn't screw that up, that I lost sight of you. It never even occurred to me that you'd think I didn't want to marry you. I just kept thinking that if you saw me messing up with her, that you'd think twice about whether you really wanted to be with me."

Lorelai sighed heavily before looking over at the waiter who had admonished them earlier. The man watched their table with a close, disapproving eye. Returning her attention to Luke, she commented, "If only we'd had this conversation a year ago…"

"We were in different places and times," he replied automatically. Noticing her quizzical look, he explained, "Liz has this theory that we've always been on these two planes of existence and that we couldn't work things out unless there was some way to connect us, like a wormhole. Now, I don't really know anything about _Battlegate Galactica_ or wormholes, but I think she means that we just didn't know how to talk to each other. I mean, really communicate so that we understood how we both feel about things, like postponing the wedding."

"Your sister is very perceptive," Lorelai agreed.

"So…" Luke seemed momentarily at a loss. "Do you know anything about this wormhole communication stuff? 'Cause I've wracked my brain, and I can't figure out how to talk any differently than I always do."

She smiled at him and his genuine, earnest appeal to her. He understood that they had problems, that they needed to come up with solutions, but he needed her to help him figure out how to deal with their issues. "What Liz was talking about, wormholes… I think that's exactly what we're doing right now," she said.

Luke stared at her for a moment as if digesting her words, then he gave her a slight smile in return.

Even though they left arm-in-arm, their waiter was relieved to see them go.

* * *

When he walked her to the front door, she sensed he would not stay even if she invited him. But she did so anyway just so he would know that she wanted him there with her. Despite all the time they had been apart from each other in the intervening months, she knew it would feel odd to sleep without him that night.

He seemed apologetic as he said, "I should get back to the apartment… You know, check on Rachel, make sure everything was okay at the funeral this afternoon."

"Yeah, sure," Lorelai said with a nod, hoping her understanding masked her disappointment.

While she knew Luke to be a good and honorable man, some part deep inside her wondered if he was considering getting back at her in the same way she had hurt him. After all, Rachel was a beautiful woman, alone and vulnerable in his apartment. Feeling ashamed for even considering the possibility, Lorelai quickly pushed aside the images forming in her head of Luke making love to another woman. He would never do such a thing, not to her and especially not to a woman going through something so tragic.

"I had a good time tonight," she told him, wanting to draw out the moments before their goodbye's a little longer.

He gave her a wry look in response. "Even with all the fighting?"

"Especially with all the fighting. I think it was necessary, don't you?"

Luke considered it a second before giving a small nod in agreement. "I guess. I think we still have a lot to work through."

"Yeah, but as long as we both think it's possible to work through it…" Lorelai began, tapering off as she gave him a questioning glance.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't think it was possible," he told her, moving slightly so that he was standing very close to her.

"I'm glad you're here."

He took another step towards her, and their bodies were barely inches apart. She looked into his eyes and saw the passion mixed with uncertainty there – a reflection of her own feelings, perhaps. The need to touch him was overpowering, but doubt kept her from reaching out to him or kissing him.

Lorelai wanted to get back together with Luke in the way he wanted, slowly and carefully. While every piece of her screamed to grab hold of him and never let go, she also knew that he had his own reservations. She did not want to use sexual desire as a lure to bring him back to her; rather, she wanted him there of his own free will, ready and eager to be with her the rest of their lives.

"Is this too soon?" Luke asked, and with his mouth so achingly close to hers, it took a moment for Lorelai to focus on his words.

"Too soon?" she repeated dumbly.

"After… everything," he said lamely. "You and me, Christopher, Paris, the divorce… I don't want to rush you into anything."

"You're not," she reassured him, but the reminder of her marriage to Chris felt like a glass of cold water thrown over her head and she found herself looking down at Luke's shirt rather than into his eyes.

"I just know how that feels," he said, "to try and make something work because you feel like it should, and then having it sort of fall apart when you least expect it. It takes some time to recover from that."

Lorelai knew he was talking about Nicole, but he also could have been describing his relationship with her. She had tried so hard not to look at her actions from his perspective, to see herself through his eyes. But after hearing him talk about his reasons for keeping her away from April and his uncertainties as a father, she felt renewed guilt at having pushed him. Viewed from the perspective of a man just trying to do the right thing by his daughter, she looked like a first-rate jerk – forceful and needy and petulant. And she had run back to her ex, a man she knew she could have, as soon as Luke had refused her ultimatum. If she had simply given him a few days to catch up…

"I guess you and I don't have the best track record with elopements," she said bitterly.

Luke gently cupped her chin in one hand, forcing her eyes up to meet his. "Stop that. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I don't want to push you into anything too fast, before you've had time to… process everything."

"That's funny," she remarked. "I was thinking the same thing about you."

He must have misunderstood her meaning, as he said, "Lorelai, I'm really trying to change, to not be that guy who needed so much time and space-"

"Luke, I don't want you to change," Lorelai said emphatically. "Or… I don't want you to change because you feel you have to. That was _never_ what I wanted. God, Luke, I know you need time to process things, and I tried so hard to give you that. But-"

He interrupted her by laying a gentle kiss on her lips. While completely chaste and disappointingly brief, it did have the desired effect of momentarily shutting her up. "I don't want to have another argument with you," Luke told her. "Just know that I'm here. We don't have to rush anything."

She nodded, then afforded him one of those rare smiles – the kind that turned her eyes a darker shade of blue and made him feel like he was the only man in the world. "Thank you, Luke," she said.

While Lorelai intended to just give him another quick kiss before going into the house, her lips stayed connected with his for a few seconds longer than before, and soon she felt his hands pulling her closer and her heart beating more rapidly. In her defense, he deepened the kiss first, but she participated just as eagerly and without hesitation. Luke had a way of making her entire body ache for him in a way that was both terrible and wonderful. She knew she should have more self control to resist the magnetic pull of his embrace, but having been separated from him for almost a year, it was like telling someone who had been starving to eat slowly.

Luke broke the kiss, but she could tell that he did so despite his every wish to continue. He still held her close, but let his eyes close and forehead fall forward to rest gently against hers. She could sense him trying to collect himself, to take that last step away from her. The fact that it was so hard for him to do so reinforced every notion of love and affection she had received from him in the last two days.

"Goodnight, Luke," she said softly, pressing her lips to his one more time before stepping away from him completely. Lorelai knew that if she lingered, she would not have the strength to send him home.

She shut the door behind her after giving him one last smile, then stood in the foyer until she heard his truck start up and drive away. Walking into the living room, she noticed the light flashing on her answering machine.

"_You have… thirteen… messages_," came the mechanical voice, closely followed by Babette's distinctive intonation, "_Sugah! I heard you and Luke are back together. Morey said he came over to the house and then Kirk told me you went into the diner today. Hey, Morey, is that Luke's truck out there? Sugah, call me when you get a chance. I just knew the two of you would make up._"

The machine clicked once, and she hit the delete button with a chuckle before it moved on to the next message. "_Lorelai, darling. How are you?_" came Miss Patty's dulcet tone. "_We never get a chance to talk anymore. Please give me a call so we can catch up on whatever new might be happening in your life..._"

Lorelai listened to all thirteen messages before going to bed that night, secure in the knowledge that every townsperson and probably half of the state knew about her suddenly altered relationship with Luke. They all had questions, both subtle and probing, most of which she could not answer even if she had wanted to. Were she and Luke back together? It certainly felt that way. They were trying, at the very least. Were they getting married? (Kirk had called to ask, on the grounds that he had recently become licensed as an ordained minister and would give them a good deal on the ceremony.) Did Lorelai know that Rachel was staying with Luke? (That came from Mrs. Kim, ever concerned about the inappropriate behavior of the male sex.) And most importantly, how was she doing? Was she happy? (Those questions came from both Sookie and Rory, who were careful to temper their excitement with caution for her state of mind.)

After deleting the last message and making a mental list of who she planned to call back the next day, Lorelai curled up in bed with Paul Anka under her new comforter, feeling lighter and more optimistic about her future with Luke than she had ever thought was possible.

Two hours later, she heard familiar footsteps across the hardwood floor, followed by a slight dip in the bed as a warm body crawled in next to her. Paul Anka gave an annoyed sigh as he was shooed to the end of the bed. Luke said nothing as he wrapped his arm around her in his usual way, but she could sense his uncertainty.

"Miss me?" she teased him in a quiet whisper.

"Shh, go back to sleep," he responded, then promptly took his own advice. Lorelai lay awake for several long moments before the soothing rhythm of his breathing lulled her into deep and peaceful dreams.


	6. Doubts

A/N: Sorry this one took longer than usual. They really need to add a few hours to the day. Thanks for reviews!

**Chapter 6: Doubts**

* * *

Going into the diner was not as difficult as it had been before, although Lorelai felt like one of those cartoon characters in a cave with so many eyes watching her every move. Luke greeted her casually, just like any other customer, not like the man who had shared her bed for the past two nights. But after pouring her coffee, he made her a special batch of chocolate chip pancakes and talked with her while she ate.

Just as Lorelai got up to leave, Rachel came down the stairs from Luke's apartment. The other woman was as beautiful as she remembered - flawless skin, perfect hair, and a quick smile. Her eyes lit up when she spotted Lorelai, and she immediately walked around the counter to give her a hug.

"Lorelai, how are you? It's been ages since I've seen you," she said.

"Hey, Rachel," she said, surprised at the genuineness of the other woman's greeting. "I'm good, real good. How are you doing? Luke told me about your dad. I'm so sorry."

She nodded, and Lorelai could see the grief that she tried to hide behind a façade of normalcy. "I'm doing okay," she said. "He'd been real sick for a while – cancer. It's just difficult on my mom. They were married… it was fifty years last summer. I don't think they were apart for more than a few days their entire marriage."

"Wow." The number startled and saddened her. Her own marriage had barely lasted five months. Even Richard and Emily Gilmore, as dysfunctional and demanding as they were as parents, would likely see their fiftieth wedding anniversary.

"Yeah, so it's been difficult, but everyone in town's been so nice to me. I really appreciate Luke letting me stay here for a few days…" Rachel glanced around as she noticed how loudly her voice was carrying across the diner – most of the talking had died down as people were listening to her conversation with Lorelai. "Why don't we go outside and get some fresh air while we catch up?" she suggested. "I want to hear all about what you've done with the Dragonfly."

Throwing Luke a little wave as she followed Rachel out, Lorelai considered how strange it was to be 'catching up' with Luke's ex-girlfriend, who was staying with him in his one-room apartment, just days after they had started seeing each other again. But Rachel gave no indication of resentment or jealousy, and they walked through town chatting easily about everything from the Inn to Rory and April. Lorelai was quickly reminded of why she had always liked the woman, despite her past connection with Luke.

Eventually, the subject of the hour was breached as Rachel said quietly, "So I've sort of been privy to a lot of the gossip flying around the last few days. I think Miss Patty considers it her responsibility to make sure I'm up to date on the important things whenever I come back into town."

"Yeah, I bet you've been getting an ear-full lately," Lorelai agreed, suddenly feeling a little nervous about where their conversation was headed and what exactly Rachel had been told. She obviously knew about the engagement to Luke and the subsequent break-up. But did Rachel know about her marriage to Christopher? The divorce? The crying episode with Luke that seemed to be leading to their reconciliation, if that was what it was (and she did believe they were reconciling).

The other woman smiled at her for a moment before her features became more serious. "Lorelai, I've known Luke a long time. Before we were together, we were good friends, probably the same way the two of you were. That's how I could tell he was in love with you the last time I was here."

"You… what?" Lorelai said in confusion, but Rachel ignored the interruption.

"And even though we don't really keep in touch any more, I still consider Luke a friend. And I consider you a friend, too. So I guess I just wanted to check and make sure…"

"That I don't hurt him again?" Lorelai supplied, understanding her purpose and appreciating the delicate way in which she was choosing to approach the subject.

She seemed almost apologetic as she agreed, "Something like that. I mean, I know it's not really my place, and I'm probably the last person either of you want butting into your lives, but… Luke loves you. It's even more obvious to me now. The other day when he got that phone call… I don't think I've seen him run that fast since he was on the track team in high school."

Lorelai ducked her head in embarrassment at the reminder of her break-down even as she felt a flush of pleasure at the description of Luke's actions. He had only told her Morey called, not that he had literally run straight over to her house to check on her.

"What I mean is…" Rachel continued, "Luke's a good guy – probably the best guy I've ever known. I know he can be difficult and stubborn and, well, _Luke_. But take it from someone who had to learn it the hard way… he's worth hanging onto."

"I know," Lorelai said, beginning to feel more than a little uncomfortable with the topic. She too learned the hard way not only how painful it was to lose Luke, and how much she truly needed him to begin with.

The other woman gave her a sympathetic shrug of the shoulders. "I know you know, and it must sound like I'm preaching to the choir. But I gave Luke the same speech last night, and when he started arguing with me I told him I'd tell you the same thing I told him."

"I bet he loved that," Lorelai remarked in amusement.

"I said it with a great deal of charm," Rachel deadpanned.

While the subject quickly turned to other things, her words stayed with Lorelai the rest of the day, even after she drove to the Dragonfly and endured Sookie's emotional bouncing and gleeful shouting as she demanded every detail. Lorelai filled her best friend in on the high points, keeping certain things to herself, like the reason she suddenly looked so well rested.

"You were looking pretty bad there for a while," Sookie told her. "And everyone in town was noticing it, not just me."

Lorelai muttered uncomfortably, "Yeah, I heard all of you were tattle-telling on me to Luke. Thanks for that."

"Well honey, we were worried about you. After you and Christopher split, you kept acting like you were fine but you obviously weren't. Just like when you and Luke broke up..." She paused, thinking. "…the second time. Seriously, you two better not break up again because I can't keep it straight anymore."

"I'll do my best," Lorelai told her, although she spoke with a heavy conscience. The conversation with Rachel had served to reinforce how priceless this second chance with Luke really was. (Well, third chance, technically.) And even her best friend was warning her not to screw it up again. A tiny voice inside her screamed to run away, to simply be done with the matter entirely and try to get on with her life without Luke.

Fortunately, and frighteningly, the stronger voice kept her firmly resolved to do whatever was necessary to make a relationship with Luke work, even if that meant suffering the indignity of town gossip or the qualms of her closest friends. After all, she had done everything she could to prove to Christopher she was on board with their marriage. She certainly owed as much to Luke, the man she actually wanted to marry.

But, did he even want to still marry her, after all the heartbreak and her disloyalty to him when she slept with Christopher (and then married him)? Suddenly, it all seemed like too much – too much to deal with, to put Luke through, or to expect him to get over. And Lorelai was not sure she had the strength to have her hopes dashed again when this third chance started to collapse in on itself from the weight of her past mistakes.

"Honey, your cell phone's ringing," Sookie informed her, interrupting her thoughts. When she saw the number that was calling her, Lorelai stepped outside even though she could have done with the comfortable surroundings.

She answered the phone with a quiet, "Hey," as she circled around the porch to the front of the inn.

"Hey, how's it going?" Luke asked. She could hear the sounds of the diner behind him for a moment until they suddenly became muted, like he had stepped into the store room.

"Um, everything's fine," Lorelai said, not wanting to let him know about the sudden swirl of worries that had begun to overtake her. "How are you?"

"I'm about ready to murder Kirk," he replied shortly.

She found herself slipping back into her usual character as she warned, "Oh, don't do that. They'll send you off to prison where you'll be the girlfriend of some guy named Butch and you'll have to tunnel your way under the yard with a spoon. Oh wait, I forgot. _Your_ name is Butch, and last I checked you had plenty of spoons… yep, kill away. But what did Kirk do this time?"

"He's selling commemorative t-shirts."

"Commemorative of what?"

Luke's voice dropped as though he were slightly embarrassed, or perhaps so he would not be overheard. "Of us, you and me."

"He's selling commemorative t-shirts… of us?" Lorelai asked, stunned.

"You know, of us getting back together," Luke explained uncomfortably.

Two heartbeats went by as her mind raced to come up with a reply. But despite all her years of practice in the art of talking on her feet, all she could say was, "Oh."

She could hear him waiting for her to say more, but she was at a loss for further reply. Kirk was handing out t-shirts. Sookie was working her pregnant self into a celebratory frenzy. The whole town was acting as though Sonny and Cher had gotten back together, nevermind the fact that Sonny was dead and Cher had done her final farewell tour, and what did it matter now anyway? Lorelai felt herself getting a little dizzy, so she sat down on the front porch steps.

"Hey, is everything okay? You sound a little upset," she heard Luke ask, and the tender concern in his voice just made her feel worse.

"I'm fine," she stated, even though she felt far from 'fine.' The last thing she wanted was to have a big drawn-out conversation with Luke before she had a chance to sort through some of the feelings flying about in her head. She needed time to think.

"Well, I was thinking that if you're not busy tonight, maybe you could drop by the diner and get something to eat, and then we could go out and catch a movie or something," Lorelai heard him suggest. The invitation was so typical of their previous relationship, so casual and unassuming and perfectly them. It saddened her to think that with so much time having passed, they were right back to where they were before. Sure, they had made up lost ground, but they had not actually moved _forward_ in so long, she wondered if they ever would. And maybe, just maybe, they were never meant to be more than what they had been in the beginning – good friends.

"Actually, I was thinking of just going to bed early tonight," she said.

"Oh… okay."

He sounded so disappointed that Lorelai almost changed her mind about spending the evening alone. But then she looked down at her left hand where Christopher's ring had been just a few short weeks before, and she felt her resolve strengthen. She was not pushing him away. Rather, she simply needed to get a little perspective, and to do that, she had to keep her heart from clouding up her rational thought processes.

Luke continued uneasily in the silence, "You're probably pretty tired. Had a rough couple of days… weeks..." He paused uncertainly before adding, "Anyway, a good night's sleep should help."

"I've actually slept better the last two days than I have in months," Lorelai confided, the words slipping out of her mouth without thought. But she cringed as she heard herself and how pathetic she sounded, like she was begging for his affection.

"Yeah, me too," he replied, and she could not quite ignore the feeling of relief his response produced. "Better than I have in a long, long time."

Images flashed in Lorelai's head of the nights she had spent alone while they were engaged, he at his apartment and she at the house with only Paul Anka. As the emotional distance between them grew, so did the physical separation. They touched less, rarely kissed, and almost never made love. Sure, there had been plenty of reasons for them to have less time together, what with Luke running the diner and trying to cope with the idea of his new daughter, not to mention her own business to manage. Somehow, they had simply stopped being a couple in all the important ways.

"I like the new stuff you bought," Luke said quietly, almost cautiously, as though he were testing whether she was still on the phone.

"What stuff?" she asked, confused.

It came to her a second later, but he was already speaking. "You know, the new comforter and sheets and stuff…"

"Well, I guess it was time for a change," Lorelai said, before adding, "Rory and I are going shopping this weekend."

"Shopping, huh?" He sounded a little relieved but still uncertain. In fact, she and Rory had planned on taking a day trip to New York for all the essentials – new bed frame, new clothes that didn't remind her of anything or anyone, and some suits for Rory to wear to the interviews she hoped to get with the major newspapers to which she had applied. Besides, Lorelai needed something to wear to Mia's wedding in North Carolina the following weekend.

"Well, whenever you're free, maybe we can get together again," Luke suggested hopefully. The optimistic tone of his voice momentarily soothed her troubled mind. Maybe they could work everything out after all.

"Yeah, absolutely. I'll call you," Lorelai heard herself say in response, and she wondered at her own reluctance. Just the night before, she fell asleep in the man's arms after he took her to dinner. They had already discussed everything that led to their relationship falling apart. It was time to move on, to move forward. She knew that. But something still held her back.

She thought about what that 'something' was the rest of the day at work, and then all through the evening when she got home. On their first date – their _real_ first date – Luke told her, "Lorelai, this thing we're doing here, me and you. I just want you to know… I'm in. I am all in. Does that… are you scared?"

Terrified was probably a better word to describe her feelings at that moment. The knowledge that one of her best friends, a man she had known and relied on for years, had such strong feelings for her. There was no getting-to-know-you period, although they had gone through a transition of discovering some little-known likes and dislikes. But for the most part, they had jumped right in.

And at first, everything felt right. Luke was different than her previous boyfriends. He knew her better than Jason had. He understood her personality better than Max ever could. And he was there for her more than Christopher ever was or could to be. She told him so jokingly one time, but in many respects, Luke was the perfect man. And he adored her. She could see it in his eyes sometimes, that look of admiration and respect, mixed with humor, annoyance, and burning physical desire. And amidst all that, she could see that he loved her.

Lorelai knew how he felt long before he ever said it. The night he came back to her after their first break up (and God, did she hate having to number the break ups), she knew he loved her. It was as though he infused it into her skin with his every touch and kiss. When they made love that night, he showed her with actions better than he ever could have with words exactly what she meant to him and how much he had missed her. Not that there hadn't been talking. They _had_ talked, just not about the right things.

That night, she told him Christopher would never come between them again, and neither would her family. He pledged to trust her and never let his pride get in the way of his love for her again. And for a while, it worked. They were happy together – blissfully happy. But eventually, they both broke their promises. As secure as they were in the life they had built together, when the problems started accumulating, the foundation began to crack, the walls bowed inward, and in the end, it buckled under the weight of too many burdens. Lorelai had always labored under the assumption that their destruction resulted from neglect of their relationship, of lack of communication and trust.

But now, looking back on it all, she wondered if perhaps they had simply built on faulty ground to begin with. Some people were just never meant to be, no matter how well suited they were or how much they wanted to be together. She and Christopher were a perfect example. She loved Chris and probably always would to some extent. But she did not love him the way a wife should. She loved him the way she had at sixteen, as a good friend and fellow partner in crime. They shared a sense of humor and a history and even a Gilmore-Hayden world background. But she was not in love with him. And when she pictured herself years in the future, sitting in a retirement home celebrating her 50th anniversary, it was not Christopher she saw sitting next to her. It was Luke.

But then, as Lorelai well knew, people did not always get what they wanted in life. Under that reasoning, she had settled for Christopher. In a fit of romantic escapism, she went with her second choice, allowing him to sweep her into an elopement she knew was a bad idea and a marriage that could only lead in disaster.

More than anything, Lorelai was afraid of the same result with Luke - not getting married on a whim necessarily, because she knew he would never do that, at least not with _her_. But she feared letting herself get too attached to him again, only to discover they simply could not work. Even if they tried their best to reconstruct the relationship, sifting through the ashes of their failures for something worth salvaging, maybe they simply were not meant to have a life together that could withstand the tests of time and pressure. Perhaps they were simply not capable of such a thing, together.

A sound pulled Lorelai from her thoughts. Looking around, she found herself in the master bedroom without even knowing how she had gotten there. With her mind occupied, she had apparently found a way to keep her hands busy. She had completely disassembled the bed frame. The box spring and mattress sat directly on the floor, the head and foot boards having been moved to lean against the far wall by the closet door, just waiting for the Salvation Army to pick them up.

Suddenly, Lorelai heard the sound again, but this time she was able to identify it. Knocking. Someone was knocking on her front door. Sighing in exasperation, Lorelai stood up and headed downstairs to see which lunatic townsperson had enough gumption to show up at her house so late at night to pump her for information.

And when she opened the front door, despite the events of the past few days, she was genuinely surprised to see Luke standing there, a worried expression on his face. His eyes appeared bluer than usual, or perhaps it was just the colors in his flannel shirt that brought out the bright, clear color.

"We need to talk."

Lorelai found herself focusing on his lips as he formed the words. Then his jaw set in that determined way she knew so well, and she stepped back to let him walk past her into the house.

"What about?" She let the fatigue show in her voice, mostly because she did not have the energy to hide it.

"I want to know what's wrong," Luke stated almost accusingly.

"Nothing's wrong," she lied.

He crossed his arms, he assumed the 'We both know you're going to tell me sooner or later, so you might as well do it now' stance she had come to know well over the years. She watched his lips set themselves into a firm line, displeased with her lack of candor.

"I thought we decided the only way this was going to work is if we're honest and open with each other," he reminded her.

"I _am_ being honest and open. I'm _fine_," Lorelai insisted. But even as she did so, some deep part of her hoped that he would see through the façade and once again rescue the frightened woman trapped inside.

"No, you're not."

"How do you know? Is my nose growing?" She crossed her eyes to demonstrate her point. "Nope, see, same length as always."

"Lorelai…"

She found herself getting angrier as she continued. "And since when can you tell when something's wrong? I thought that was your whole defense, that you had no idea I was so upset. I have to tell you if I want you to know how I feel about something. You're not psychic, after all."

Luke regarded her for a long moment without moving. Instead, he just stared into her eyes, his expression unreadable. After a while, she had to look away, unable to face whatever emotion he would show in those beautiful blue eyes when he finally spoke again.

As it turned out, he said nothing. When Lorelai looked away, he simply dropped his arms and turned to leave. He made it to the top of the porch steps before her voice stopped him.

"Wait…" When he turned to face her, the façade had cracked and her despair was plainly evident. "Luke, I'm scared," she said softly.

(tbc)


	7. My Heart Will Go On

**Chapter 7: My Heart Will Go On**

* * *

"Luke, I'm scared."

It was a confession, a plea, and an explanation. She felt her bottom lip quivering as she waited for his response, remembering his question to her that first night together at Sniffy's and hoping that he remembered as well.

Luke regarded her silently for a moment as he digested her words. When he spoke, she could hear the sadness in his voice as he asked quietly, "What scares you? Is it me or just the idea of us?"

Frustrated at her inability to answer, Lorelai simply looked down at the threshold of her front door, conscious of the fact that an open door separated them. When she did not answer, his questions grew a little louder and more desperate. "Give me a clue, Lorelai! You say you're scared, and then you won't tell me why. It obviously has something to do with us, but once again you won't tell me what's bothering you. Is it relationships in general or is it just me?"

"Luke, I… I don't know. I'm just… I'm just scared, okay?"

He took a step forward, and the movement caught her attention. Luke locked eyes with Lorelai and walked toward her slowly and deliberately, as though she were some wild animal he was trying not to spook. And in that moment, she did feel a little like a deer caught in headlights as every instinct told her to run, to get away, to put distance between herself and the man who had caused her so much pain in the past. But at the same time, she knew she had to stay and fight for what she wanted. And she did want him, as frightening a prospect as that was.

"What can I do to make you less scared?" Luke asked her finally. While he stood very close to her, within a foot or two, he made no move to touch or kiss her. He simply watched her with alert eyes that hinted at an expression of sympathy.

Lorelai shook her head in response. "Nothing, Luke. You're great. You've been so great, and I just… I had a bad day, and I was thinking about what a lot of people said, and…" She paused. "Do you really think this can work? I mean, do you really want to give this another shot?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. A second later, doubt crept into his eyes. "Why? Don't you?"

"Yes, but… I don't know, Luke. It just seems like we keep trying and missing, and every time we miss, it hurts so much. And I hurt you, and I hate myself for it. I mean…" She glanced at the bit of space between their feet before looking back up at him. "Is it worth it? To you – is it worth it to try again? Or is all this just because you found me crying in the front yard and-"

"It's worth it," he interrupted her.

"But, aren't you scared that-"

"Yes, I'm scared." She opened her mouth to ask another question, but he held up a hand to silence her. "Lorelai, I understand that you're afraid. I'm afraid, too. But to me, it's worth it. I know after we broke up you did everything you could to not think about it, but I didn't. I thought about it all the time – how angry I was at you, what I did wrong, how we both could have done things better. And at some point I just realized that none of that matters. I can't just talk myself out of being in love with you. It doesn't work that way."

Lorelai smiled at him, a sort of tight, nervous smile. "But is that enough?" she pursued. "We keep talking about what went wrong and how we can fix it, but I keep hearing your words in my head about us not being right together."

"Well, I was an idiot. I was hurt and angry and trying to deal with the fact that I'd just lost you, very suddenly."

"Luke, I'm not blaming you for what you said," she said. "That's not what I meant at all. I just need to know if you still think that's true, that maybe we're just not meant to be together, no matter how much we may want to be. Because you made it sound like we were completely incompatible and-"

"Lorelai, I was upset. I was trying to make it easier on both of us by saying it wasn't right, that we weren't meant to be. That was so much easier than admitting we were perfect for each other and that I screwed up the best thing I ever had."

He was quiet for a few seconds as he allowed his statement to sink in, and Lorelai found her mind racing in the wake of his words.

"Where do you see this going?" she asked, knowing full well that men tended to hate that question. It was too early to put him on the spot, to make him offer some kind of commitment. But they had committed to each other before. They had been engaged with a wedding planned and a date set. She needed some assurance that day would eventually happen for them.

He repeated her words slowly, casually, "Where do I see this going? Well, I kind of see it going where it should have gone to begin with, but that's just me." He stopped, the reality of the situation seeming to hit him. "You still think I don't want to marry you, don't you?" he demanded.

"No, that's not-"

"I've been trying to take this slow, to give you time-"

"I appreciate that," she tried to interrupt, but he continued on.

"You just got _divorced_, Lorelai."

"I know that! I'm not saying-"

"Then what are you saying?"

Lorelai threw up her hands in frustration. "If you'll let me talk! All I'm saying is I'm afraid that a year from now, we're still going to be standing here arguing about what went wrong, and wondering why we even bothered to begin with. Yes, I just got divorced. Is that going to make you always wonder about me? And am I always going to wonder if you're just settling for me because we have this history? Is this something you even want, because you didn't seem to want it before-"

Equally annoyed with the turn of the conversation, Luke growled loud enough to interrupt her. Refusing to continuing arguing, he reached out and grasped her shoulders, the first physical contact they had shared all evening. But rather than remain facing her, he moved behind her, at the same time keeping a hold of her upper arms as he gently but firmly guided her out onto the front porch.

Leaning forward slightly to speak into her ear as he wrapped his arms her midsection from behind, he said deeply, "You want to know what I want, where I see 'this' going? I see us sitting on this porch for the next forty years. Or some other porch, it doesn't matter. I see myself mowing the lawn, which has gotten pretty bad lately, by the way. I see April and Rory coming to visit over the holidays and the three of you eating so much junk food you make yourselves sick. I see you in a dress with flowers in your hair – white, off-white, bright red, purple, the color of the dress doesn't matter, only that you're wearing it for _me_. I see us going down to the lake on Sunday afternoons and out on the new boat for weekends. I see our kids playing in the yard and handing out candy on Halloween while we watch Babette hang Morey next door. I see you making me sit through thousands of movies and hundreds more of those stupid reality TV shows. I see-"

"You see kids?" Lorelai asked, focusing on one of the more alien words that stood out to her in Luke's speech.

"Yeah. Or not. Maybe another dog, or just us. Whatever you want. But… yeah, I see kids."

But Lorelai's mind was still racing as she retraced his statements. "And a white dress. You see me in a white dress?"

Luke sighed. "I see you in a wedding dress. The color doesn't really matter to me. Sure, most wedding dresses are white, or off-white, or whatever that color is. Or you could wear jeans or a paper bag or nothing at all. Of course, if you're wearing nothing at all, I'm sure not going to let Kirk perform the ceremony…"

"So… you want to get married," she said slowly, carefully, as though testing out the concept.

"Not right away," he responded quickly, "But yeah, at some point."

Lorelai felt herself leaning back against him as she tried to force the worry from her body. He was doing everything right and being so good to her. Even though she knew he had his own reservations and raw, unhealed wounds, he was doing so much to assure her. He was finally fighting for her. And not for the first time, Lorelai wondered if she even deserved it.

"I don't want to get married," she heard herself say. She felt Luke's grip on her tighten slightly, but otherwise he gave no reaction. "I don't want to get married _just_ to be married," she added after a few moments. "Because I tried that, and it didn't work."

She heard him take a breath to speak and then think better of it. But just as the awkwardness had begun to suffocate her, he asked, "Are you ever going to tell me why it didn't work? I mean, you said he was tired of being your second choice, but… did you break it off or…"

Lorelai knew what he wanted her to tell him. He wanted the divorce to be her idea, to be an outcome she had sought out rather than one that was thrust upon her. Most of all, she could tell by his tone that Luke did not want to be her rebound guy, the old flame who she needed to get her through a devastating divorce. But by the hopeless way he held her, tightly and nervous, she had a feeling he would be whatever she wanted him to be. It was a mindset that had closely mirrored her own over the past few days.

"He found the letter I wrote for your custody hearing," she found herself saying, the words flowing out without censure or pause. "He confronted me about it because he didn't think I was over you. He called it a love letter, actually. And I told him it didn't mean anything, that you and I were over. I told him I loved him and that I was committed to him. But he didn't believe me. He could tell my heart wasn't really in it – not the marriage, not our life together, or even that conversation.

"He left. This was the day before my dad went to the hospital, so that's why he didn't come to the hospital until late. I kept calling him and leaving him messages, but he never called me back. And when he finally did come…"

"I was there." Luke's interjection surprised her, mostly because he sounded understanding rather than angry.

She nodded, saying, "He didn't stay for very long and he was still pretty angry with me. Then he disappeared for a few days. By the time he finally showed up again, I was really mad and I refused to talk to him. Then when I cooled down and we did talk, he said all these things about me still having feelings for you, which I denied. But later… I was talking to Sookie, and I said that maybe the best thing for me to do would be to just cut you out of my life entirely. You know, to reassure Chris and to keep my old feelings from resurfacing all the time. And I really thought I could do that."

Lorelai took a shuddering breath, glad that she did not have to face him as she told the story, and not really sure that she wanted to continue. But Luke prompted, "Then what happened?"

"I saw you. Through the window at the diner, I saw you, and you waved to me. You had this kind of sad smile on your face, like you knew what I was thinking about and you were letting me go. And then… well, this is stupid, but… I was at the funeral for Chin Chin – Michel's dog – and Zach was playing Celion Dion's _My Heart Will Go On_. Which, you probably never saw it because I didn't make you watch it, but when it first came out Rory and I watched _Titanic_ about a hundred times before we got sick of it. And I always hated the end where Rose tells Jack that she'd never let go, because it sounds so stupid and phony, but…"

She took a deep breath and he squeezed her gently in a gesture to continue.

"As I was standing there, I realized that I felt the same way. I couldn't let go, even though I really wanted to, Luke. I tried so hard to let go. I did everything I could to _make_ myself let go, to move on and have a different life. But, I realized… I didn't want that life. I didn't _want_ to cut you out of my life. And most of all, I didn't love Christopher, at least not in the way I was supposed to. I was lying to myself all along, and I was lying to him. So I went home, and we talked about it, and that was it. The next day he hired a moving truck and we went to see a lawyer for the divorce.

"Probably not what you wanted to hear, but that's what happened," Lorelai finished.

She waited for Luke to speak, to say something, _anything_. But he just stood in silence, his body warm against her and unmoving. She listened to him breath, reveling in the feel of his chest rising and falling against her back at an even, measured rate. His touch was enough to calm her and refocus her mind on the immediacy of his presence. Somehow, with his arms wrapped securely around her, the doubts and fears which had plagued her all day began to drain away. He was still with her. He hadn't run away. Even as she told him about her relationship with Christopher, he held her close and let her get it all out, no matter how painful if probably was for him to hear.

But as Luke shifted against her, letting his grip around her stomach slacken a little, her heart jumped into her throat as fear gripped her. She found herself automatically tightening her arms around his, terrified of letting him go.

"Shh," he soothed, sensing her sudden unease. "Let's go inside."

This time as he disengaged from her, Lorelai did not fight him. He reassured her by keeping hold of one hand as he guided her back through the front door. But then he paused in the doorway, and she turned back around to look at him in confusion.

"I wasn't leaving before," Luke explained. "I was going out to my truck. I actually brought over some food and a movie I thought you'd like, in case you weren't feeling well or were just having a bad day. Some chick flick with that comedian guy you like and the woman from that commercial alluding to all the movies she's made."

Lorelai smiled and said automatically, "You really are the perfect man."

Luke snorted skeptically. "I'll be right back," he told her, his hand threatening to let go of hers. But instinct kicked in, and instead of letting him go, she pulled him to her once more, wrapping her arms tightly around his body as she nuzzled her face against his neck. Food or not, she really had no desire to let him go.

Not speaking, Luke simply enveloped her again, letting his hands move gently across her back in slow, calming circles. She wondered how she had gone so long without his touch, without his presence in her life. They had not always been lovers, or even friends, but he had always been there for her. He had loved her a long time – Rachel said so herself. And he still loved her. As much as she had doubted it before, she could feel it emanating from him as surely as the warmth from his body. He loved her, and he wanted to marry her, and have children with her, and grow old with her…

"I love you," she whispered quietly, squeezing her eyes shut against the flood of emotions welling up inside of her.

Luke did not hesitate in returning the sentiment. "I love you, too. You really have no idea how much, Lorelai."

"I'm beginning to."

They spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch, watching _The Holiday_ and eating burgers that Luke had brought over. They talked about a number of things, trying not to skirt the difficult subjects but also treading carefully to avoid causing the other pain. That night was not about fighting or anger or justifications for past wrongs. It was about healing old wounds, rebuilding trust, and learning to feel a little more secure about where they stood with each other. "You know," Lorelai remarked as the movie ended and they made their way up the stairs to the bedroom, "Kate Winslet was in _Titanic_."

"You're going to make me watch that now, aren't you?"

"Not right now," she reassured him, "because I'm exhausted. But definitely soon."

Luke rolled his eyes, but gave her a slight smile as he said, "Looking forward to it."

As they crawled into Lorelai's bed, the mattress and box springs still sitting on the floor, Luke commented softly, "You really need to go shopping."

"I'm going to New York on Saturday with Rory," she answered sleepily. "Gotta buy a new dress for Mia's wedding anyway."

"Mia's wedding? Oh yeah," he said. "I think she sent me an invitation to that."

"You should go with me, then," Lorelai murmured, already half-asleep.

"What about Rory?"

"…school… Logan…"

"Um… okay," Luke agreed uncertainly. But Lorelai was already asleep, her breathing a deep and even rhythm. Pulling her close against him, indulging himself in her presence. "I love you, Lorelai Gilmore," he said softly before following her into peaceful dreams.


	8. The Perfect Dress

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay between chapters. Sometimes real life sneaks up and steals all your time and energy away from you, then points at you and laughs. I'll try to have the next chapter up relatively quickly. Thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 8: The Perfect Dress**

* * *

"Oh, I like this one," Rory said, holding up a short black dress with ornamental silver buckles on the straps. "Classic, elegant…" 

"And black," Lorelai said, shaking her head in rejection. "I told you, I'm sick of black."

"Well, that was fine two hours ago when we first started shopping, but you've also said no red because it makes you look trampy, no white because its too much like a wedding dress, no blue because you have flashbacks to your last blue dress – whatever that means – no pink because it says 'come and get it,' and no orange because it _screams_ 'come and get it.' Black really is your only option."

"What about purple? Or green? What happened to all the pretty purple and green dresses? I bought one a few weeks ago, and it was perfect," she whined.

"Then wear that one."

"I can't… I wore it for my first date with Luke."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Then wear it again."

"I can't wear it again. I wore it for Luke. That means I'm going to forever associate it with my date with Luke. I can't wear it to Mia's wedding, cause then I'll always think about Mia's wedding when I see it, _and_ my date with Luke," Lorelai explained.

"So?"

She gave her daughter a look, as though she had missed the most obvious problem in the world. "So, you really think it's a good idea at this point for me to be associating dresses with Luke and with weddings?"

Rory nodded in understanding. "Probably not. Carry on."

Lorelai continued sorting through a nearby rack, pausing as she pulled out various garments, then returning them and moving on. It had been a very long day. She and Rory began their little venture early in the morning so they could make it to New York with plenty of time to shop. And they had succeeded in finding Lorelai new bedroom furniture, including a beautiful dark wood bed frame and matching dresser. Actually, the furniture looked very much like Luke's grandmother's, except without the carved cherubs.

They had also found a number of clothing items, including a couple of potential suits for Rory and some new items for Lorelai's closet. But they still had yet to find something for her to wear to Mia's wedding. And while Rory was thrilled that Luke agreed to go, thus getting her out of her daughterly obligation, her excitement had waned significantly after being drug through every store in New York in search of her mother's mythical 'perfect dress.'

"So, how are things going with you and Luke?" Rory asked.

While they had discussed her burgeoning relationship with the local diner owner to some extent, they had not yet had The Talk. Lorelai feared that her daughter would disapprove, especially since she and Christopher had gotten divorced so soon before. But when she told Rory over the phone a few days earlier, surprise had given way to concern, and then acceptance. They did not discuss the situation much beyond Lorelai's immediate state of mind, and both seemed to accept that their little shopping extravaganza would allow plenty of time to talk.

Except, they hadn't talked yet, and it was starting to make Lorelai feel on edge. So when her daughter finally broached the subject, she was more relieved than anything.

"Good. Things are going good," she answered, uncertain about how much to say. Part of her wanted to tell Rory everything and get her opinion on it, just as she always had. But Lorelai was also sensitive to the fact that she had just gotten divorced from Rory's father after living together as a family for months.

"That's good," the younger woman said, nodding in approval. They continued browsing the racks, taking turns holding something up for the other to inspect, then reject. After several moments, she asked, "So, you two are talking, then?"

"Yeah, we're talking," Lorelai said.

"About whatever happened between you? Because I think that was really your problem, not talking about the things you needed to be talking about."

"_Yes_, we're talking about everything."

"Good." Rory nodded in approval before she looked down at the dress she was holding. Her eyes went wide, and she held it up for her mother to see.

The dress was perfect for Lorelai – primarily black, but with purple and green diamond shapes interspersed. As well, it was short enough to wear with high heels or possibly boots, and the neck line was accentuating without being too much.

"It's black," Lorelai pointed out.

"It's not black; it just has black _in it_. See the purple? And the green? Plus it's on sale," Rory said, pointing to a nearby sign.

"Hmm…" Lorelai stared at it appraisingly for a moment before taking the hanger. "It is in my size," she acknowledged. "I guess I could try it on…"

* * *

"So you two are going to Mia's wedding?" Rory asked, adjusting the jacket of her suit as she stood in front of the dressing room mirror. 

"Yeah, can you believe it?" Lorelai commented, incredulous. "I said I was going, and he said Mia had sent him an invitation, so I suggested he go with me. I didn't expect him to agree to it. I thought he'd say he has to work or he has to fly to New Mexico to see April or something. But he agreed right away."

"That should be fun," she said, her tone of voice as neutral as Switzerland.

"Yeah… I don't like this." Reaching around, Lorelai tugged at the bottom of Rory's jacket before shaking her head. "I think it's too big. You've lost weight, haven't you?"

"I haven't lost weight," Rory groused. "I'm just worried about Logan."

"And worrying about Logan has caused you to not fit into clothes anymore? I should try that diet."

"You're one to talk," she shot back. "Ever since you and Dad split up, you've definitely lost weight. And you haven't been sleeping."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "I have not lost weight, and I'm sleeping fine. Who tells you these things?"

Rory looked up a the ceiling for a moment as she recounted, "Sookie, Babette, Miss Patty, Kirk..."

"Kirk calls you?"

"Once. He wanted to know if you were planning on leaving Star's Hollow because he wanted to buy our house."

"And what did you tell him?" Lorelai demanded.

"I told him you weren't leaving Star's Hollow, and even if you were that he wouldn't like the house," Rory said.

"Why wouldn't he like the house?"

"It's haunted by the ghost of a dead hamster."

"Oh for the love of… I did not kill that hamster! It was defective!"

Rory shrugged. "Well, either way, it worked. He's hasn't asked about our house again."

Lorelai glanced at her daughter's face in the mirror, giving her a little smile before turning serious. "So are you okay with this?"

"With what?"

"Me and Luke… then me and your dad, and now me and Luke again." She hated how cheap and fickle the description made her sound, but Lorelai needed to know her daughter's opinion. "I mean, I know how it must look…"

"Mom, I'm not mad at you. I actually think its good," she said, and Lorelai could tell that she meant it.

"Really?" she asked anyway.

"You and Luke never should have broken up. And you and Dad… I could tell you were trying hard and you wanted it to work, but there was always something in your eyes when you were with Luke, a spark. You didn't have that when you were Dad. And Luke was always there for you – for both of us, really. And when the two of you broke up after Grandma and Grandpa's party… you were so devastated, and you said something about Luke being 'the one.' You'd never said that about anyone before, even Dad. After that, I knew you two belonged together. And so I guess I wasn't that surprised when it didn't work out with you and Dad. I figured there was always going to be a chance of you getting back with Luke." She paused for a moment, not quite able to meet her mother's eyes. "Do you still love him?"

"Your dad?"

"Luke."

Lorelai sighed. "It's been a year since… well, since we broke up. And when I was with your dad, I did everything I could not to think about him. But the last few days, I've had to really face everything and… I love him as much now as I did before. Maybe even more."

Rory smiled at her, pleased with the answer. "That's really great, Mom."

Lorelai grinned back at her. "Yeah, I guess it is. But I don't want anything to be weird between you and your Dad, especially not because of me."

"Well, you could start by promising not to marry him again," Rory suggested. Her voice was teasing, but the words held truth. "And if you do get married again - to anyone - I want to be there."

"Absolutely."

"Have you and Luke talked about getting married someday?"

"No comment."

"That means you have."

"No comment."

"Oh, come on. If you don't tell me, I'll just keep asking questions." Lorelai shrugged nonchalantly in response. "Fine, then has he kissed you?" She gave her daughter a disbelieving look. "Fine, he's kissed you. Have you done anything _besides_ kissing?"

Lorelai's expression was appalled. "Definitely no comment. And I can't believe you're asking. Just talking about me and Luke used to freak you out."

"I know," Rory said thoughtfully. "I think I'm growing, getting more mature."

"Maybe I'll get lucky at Mia's wedding. Dancing, flowers, romantic music…" she said thoughtfully, letting her expression stay somber for a moment until the mental image leaked its way into her daughter's brain.

"God, Mom. Thanks a lot. Now I'm always going to associate Mia's wedding with you and Luke and… gross!"

"And my immature little girl is back!" Lorelai exclaimed in delight, hugging the young woman as she looked at her in the mirror. "Oh, how I missed you."

They stood like that for a few minutes, each conscious of the fact that Rory was no longer a 'little girl,' nor was she going to be able to avoid true adulthood for much longer. The image of her in a suit, ready to interview with newspapers all across the globe, reinforced the knowledge that their little Star's Hollow life together was almost over. It was almost time for Rory to spread her wings and go out into the world.

"You really don't like the jacket?" Rory asked.

Lorelai shook her head. "No, but there is one I saw out there with a lower collar…"

* * *

By the time Lorelai got home from dropping off Rory in New Haven, it was almost midnight. But she noticed as she pulled into the driveway that Luke's truck was parked off to the side, in his usual spot. The front porch light was on and she could tell that the foyer was also illuminated. Dragging the myriad of bags out of her jeep, she took the steps one at a time, anxious to be home but also very tired. The door swung inward just as she began to reach for it, and Luke was taking the bundles out of her hands before she could react. 

"I heard your car door," he said by way of explanation, leaning in to give her a quick kiss to the cheek before he turned around and carried her shopping bags into the kitchen. Lorelai followed at a slower pace, a little unnerved by how easily they had fallen back into such a familiar routine. "Are you hungry?" Luke called.

"Not really. Rory and I stuffed ourselves before we left New York. And then we stopped and had dinner at this place by Rory's apartment…" As she stepped out of the foyer and turned towards the living room, she saw that he had ordered a pizza and had two unopened beers waiting for them. "…but I could eat," she quickly recovered.

He shrugged his shoulders diffidently. "Nah, if you're not hungry, don't worry about it."

Lorelai gave him a pointed look. "Do you know who you're talking to? I'm always hungry, especially for _pizza_."

She sat on the couch, and he carefully lowered himself down next to her. "So, how was New York? It looks like you bought out the place," he commented lightly.

"Yep, I found some cute stuff, including a dress for Mia's wedding. That's what took the longest. But I also got some new tops and a few outfits for the inn… we went to this furniture place and I got some new stuff from there. They're going to deliver it this week sometime."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Luke said, "Good."

"And that's about it. What have you been up to?"

"Diner. Work. The usual. Oh, April called. Her spring break is in a few weeks and she's flying up here. We had talked about going down to Florida and seeing Disney World, but I think she's a little old for Disney World."

"Probably," Lorelai agreed.

"So we were talking about going out on the new boat, at least for a couple of days. Cruise around, check things out…"

She nodded slightly as he spoke, fighting back the automatic pang of jealousy and pain that his daughter's name invoked. Not that she really felt resentful of the girl; she had no problems at all with the thought of sharing Luke. Rather, she hated the idea of _time_-sharing him, getting his attention and love only some of the time when he was not with April.

"… so what do you think?"

Lorelai forced herself to bring her attention back to the man in front of her. "Sounds good," she said automatically.

"Great, I'll call April tomorrow and let her know."

Luke proceeded to pop the tops off their beers and grab a piece of pizza from the box before handing Lorelai the television remote. Still a little confused over what had just happened, she began flipping through channels until settling on an old movie.

* * *

"So you don't know if he invited you?" 

"I wasn't listening. I was too focused on not feeling _badly_ that he wasn't going to invite me, and I missed whatever it was he said in between," Lorelai confessed.

"Then why don't you just ask him?" Sookie suggested.

"Then he'll know I wasn't listening. Or he'll think I'm freaking out about the trip – either going or his going with April, whichever he was thinking."

Her friend let out a laugh at the predicament. "You two really need to work on communication."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it. But see, here's the thing. Is he really even ready for me to go on a trip with him and April? I mean, we're already going to be driving up to Mia's wedding this weekend-"

"He's going with you to Mia's wedding?" Sookie interrupted. "That's so sweet! Is he going to wear a tuxedo? I always thought Luke would look really good in a tuxedo."

"I very much doubt he'll be wearing a tuxedo since the groom won't even be wearing one," she said, disappointed. "But he did agree to wear a suit."

"So have you told Rory?"

"Yeah, we went shopping on Saturday in New York. Got some new bedroom furniture, new clothes, a dress for the wedding…"

"A dress for the wedding? You mean…!" Sookie's voice raised an octave in preparation for celebratory squealing. And then the contents of the previous conversation occurred to her, and she visibly forced herself to stand down. "Oh, that wedding."

"Yeah." Lorelai forced the disappointment from her own voice.

"Have you told your parents, about you and Luke getting back together?"

Lorelai made a face and shook her head. "No, but mostly because I don't want to get the whole 'You're so irresponsible, Lorelai. You can't keep bouncing around from one guy to another' lecture."

"But you and Luke are perfect for each other," Sookie pointed out. "And you're not bouncing around, really. Okay, maybe back and forth a little bit, but you're all done with that now. No more bouncing."

"No more bouncing," she agreed.

"And you need to tell your parents. And you need to talk to Luke about this whole April/boat thing. Oh, and you should get Mia's advice when you go down to North Carolina. Does _she_ know about you and Luke? What does she think?"

"I think she has a suspicion because I called her last week to say I was bringing a guest after all." Lorelai paused, looking a little apprehensive. "But Mia's never really seen the two of us _together_, together. The last time she was in town, we were still just friends."

Sookie grinned at her. "Trust me, she knows. If Patty hasn't gotten to her, then Babette has."

"You're probably right. I just… Is it terrible that I'm more worried about what Mia thinks than my parents' inevitable disapproval?"

"Mia will think it's great," her friend said reassuringly. "She loves you, she adores Luke, and whether or not she's been in Star's Hollow for a while, I'm sure she's up to date on the gossip enough to know that this has been a long time coming."

"I guess…" Lorelai agreed uncertainly.

Sookie glanced around the kitchen for a second to make sure no one was listening to their conversation before taking a few careful steps towards her. She dropped her voice to a whisper as she asked, "So, how was it?"

"How was what?"

"The _make-up_, with you and Luke," she stressed. "Was it up against a wall? Or, oh! On the coffee table? I always thought the two of you would be good on a table."

A little unnerved by Sookie's excitement at the scenarios she described, Lorelai quickly said, "We haven't… no table, no wall, no nothing. We're not ready for that."

"Not ready?" she demanded, genuinely confused. "But you're back together."

"We're still… working things out. I don't want to rush him into something he isn't ready for."

"Well, when's he going to be ready?"

Lorelai shrugged her shoulders uncertainly. "I don't know. And I don't even know if _I'm_ ready to take that step again yet."

Sookie patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. "You're about to spend a romantic weekend with him in North Carolina. If you're ready for that, you're ready for anything. Just remember, I want details!"


	9. Tension

**Chapter 9: Tension**

* * *

"You're going to North Carolina?" 

"It's Mia's wedding, Mom."

"But you're going by yourself."

"Well, yeah. Kind of…"

Emily picked up on the hesitation immediately, swinging her gaze from the computer screen to her daughter standing beside the desk. "'Kind of'? How do you 'kind of' go to a wedding by yourself?" she pursued. "Is Rory going with you?"

"No, Rory has school," Lorelai said, regretting not having been firmer in her lie.

"What about Christopher?"

She sighed in exasperation. "Mom, Chris and I got divorced. We're over, through, done. The end. Finis. The coroner's report is in and the marriage is dead and buried."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Lorelai, why must you always be so vulgar? I was only asking a simple question. It's not like you haven't been known to change your mind on a whim about the men in your life."

"Hey!"

"It's not a criticism, just an observation," her mother explained. "I mean, first there was that teacher from Rory's school…"

"Okay, I'm leaving," Lorelai declared as she headed for the door. Unfortunately, she was followed.

"And then there was Christopher again, which lasted about five minutes, followed by Jason Stiles, who you knew was your father's business partner at the time-"

"I'm not listening!" she declared, putting her hands over her ears as she walked through the house.

"And after him, you finally got together with Luke, which seemed like a mistake at the time-"

"Mom!" Lorelai interrupted, "What part of 'shut up' do you not understand?"

But Emily continued, undeterred, "-but appeared to be going well until suddenly it _wasn't_. Then there was Christopher again. And now…"

Lorelai stopped, turning to examine the practiced look of innocent ignorance on her mother's face. But the voice had given her away. Over the years, she had come to learn the tell-tale signs of when Emily Gilmore was up to something.

"'And now,' what?" she asked, crossing her arms defiantly.

Her mother immediately schooled her features to perfectly cool detachment. "And now you're going to this wedding 'kind of' by yourself, and I just want to know who I should be expecting at Friday night dinner next week."

Lorelai glared at her mother for a moment. "You know, don't you?" she said finally.

While Emily replied, "I have no idea what you're talking about," her tone of voice said the exact opposite.

"Who squealed? Was it Rory? 'Cause if it was Rory…"

"It wasn't Rory," the other woman admitted finally.

"Then who was it?" Lorelai demanded. Then her eyes lit up with suspicion. "Wait, I know - it's a private investigator! You've had someone following me around and keeping tabs on me, all Veronica Mars with a camera zoom and wide angle lense-"

"Oh, please."

"Then how do you know?"

Emily suddenly became very serious, putting her hands on her hips and squaring herself off against her daughter. "And what precisely am I supposed to know? If it's so important, maybe you should have told me yourself."

Thrusting out her lips in a petulant round of pouting, Lorelai said finally, "I'm getting back together with Luke." Her mother simply stared at her in stunned silence. "So… I guess you didn't know."

"Lorelai, what are you thinking?" Emily questioned, her voice going up several octives. "That man had you twisted in knots. He strung you along like one of those wooden children's toys."

"Mom, it wasn't like that…"

"Did he or did he not fail to tell you he had a daughter for months after he found out?"

"That's not the point, Mom-"

Emily threw up her hands. "Fine! Do what you want. You never would listen to me when it came to that man. He's just like Christopher – you put up with his faults and defend him until the two of you break up, and then it's all about how you couldn't make it work."

"Luke is nothing like Chris," Lorelai said angrily. "They are completely different people. And even if they were the same, it doesn't matter because they are both good, decent men. And Luke loves me, Mom."

"And how do you know that?" she challenged.

"Because he told me so. And he took me back even after everything with Chris. And he's going with me to Mia's wedding. And because… _he does_! I know he does; I can feel it whenever I'm around him. And you know what, Mom? He always has and I have a very strong suspicion that he always will."

Emily Gilmore regarded her daughter for a moment with a cool, detached gaze. Finally, after several moments of silence, she pronounced, "Fine. Tell him dinner's at seven, and he needs to wear a tie."

Lorelai blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Dinner next Friday," she repeated. "I assume you will be out of town this Friday. So next week I expect you both before seven, and Luke needs to wear a tie. This isn't some backyard hoedown, Lorelai."

And with that, the conversation was over, and Lorelai was left to speculate over what exactly had passed between she and her mother.

* * *

"_Good morning, beautiful... How was your day…? Mine was wonderful-"_

"_-just two hundred dollars down, two hundred dollars a month, and you can drive off the lot today. Yes, that's right people, Bradenton Toyota is offering the best price in the tri-state area-"_

"_-I don't want to do this anymore… I don't want to be the reason why…"_

"_-on Fox Ten news – are you being conned by your contractor? Plus the latest on Commissioner Smith's indictment for tax fraud-"_

"Would you just pick something?" Luke growled in annoyance as he gripped the steering wheel more tightly than was necessary.

"I'm trying to, but there's nothing on the radio," she responded, finally settling on a station when she heard the familiar tones of _Unchained Melody_. "There," she pronounced in satisfaction, sitting back in the passenger seat. She glanced over at Luke, once again tempted to thank him for driving. His only requirement had been that they take his truck rather than her jeep, which he distrusted despite the ancientness of his own vehicle. At the time, Lorelai gladly conceded, although she had begun to regret that decision as she recalled the limited number of stations his radio picked up. Unfortunately, her own CD collection had accidentally been left at home, forcing her to cycle through stations and alternately pester the driver.

"Is your seatbelt on?" he asked her around the fourth time she had leaned forward to change the radio.

"How am I supposed to reach the dashboard with my seat belt on?"

"You found a station," he pointed out.

"Yeah, for the next ten minutes. Then there'll be a commercial, and it'll be about little orphans in Uganda. And I'll feel bad that I haven't adopted sixteen orphans from Uganda like Angelina Jolie, and I'll be depressed. I'll start drinking and doing drugs, and I'll get fired from work and end up in a half-way house somewhere. And all because I couldn't reach far enough to change the station when the commercials come on."

Luke rolled his eyes and said sternly, "Put your seat belt on. It'll keep you from flying out the window if we get into a wreck."

"But we're not going to get into a wreck because _you're _driving," she responded. "And you're the safest driver I know."

"Yeah, well you can't vouch for everyone else on the road."

With an exaggerated sigh, Lorelai clicked the belt into place, a little annoyed that she was now anchored on the opposite side of the truck from him.

"Thank you. Now tell me again how you talked me into this," Luke grumbled.

She grinned at him, pleased at the return of his familiar grumpy attitude. As much as she adored sweet, supportive, and loving Luke, there was something about the man who spent years yelling at her about coffee intake, mocking her food choices, and rolling his eyes at her off-the-wall comments. She knew that most of it was just a front for his real feelings, the concern he had for her health, safety, and general sanity. But she also found it refreshing to spend time with someone who had no problem telling her she was crazy. And most of the time, Luke kept her grounded, but he did so without making her feel less of herself.

"You volunteered, buddy," she informed him. "Rather enthusiastically, as I recall."

"I did not," he contradicted weakly.

"Oh, come on. This'll be fun. We get to see Mia…"

"And a bunch of other people we don't know."

"There will be alcohol…"

"Champaign," he interjected.

"It's a wedding, so that means dancing. You like dancing."

"I don't dance," he mumbled, although she could tell he did so just to disagree with her.

"Oh, you'll dance," she insisted. "_and_ you'll enjoy it."

Luke grumbled a response but he put up no more resistance. Lorelai allowed them to fall into silence as she turned her attention to the scenery passing by her window. Despite having shared the same space for several hours already on their way to North Carolina, they had not discussed anything serious. And while she appreciated the easy, relaxed conversation they had fallen into, she could also sense an undercurrent running between them. Whether it was a general tension of going away together for the first time or the fact that they were heading towards a wedding, she was not sure, but one thing certainly weighed on her mind. The two of them would be sharing a hotel room. One room, one bed.

Sure, Lorelai could have made a reservation for two rooms or even one room with two beds. But doing that would have made no sense considering the fact that she and Luke had not spent a night apart in the two weeks since their reconciliation. She had no problem sharing a bed with him; in fact, she preferred it to sleeping by herself. The warm press of his body against hers was both familiar and comforting. However, his presence tended to have other, more sensual, physical reactions on her as well. And she was not certain they were ready to take that next step so soon. Unlike so many other things in her life, Lorelai wanted to do this the right way, taking deliberate care to ensure that they did not fall victim to haste once more.

On the other hand, she had a difficult time keeping her eyes from wandering over to his side of the truck, noticing how his flannel shirt draped his broad frame, how his large hands gripped the wheel, and the way his jeans…

Lorelai forced herself to look out the window again, hoping the beautiful landscape would help combat the heat rising inside of her. Not only was Luke a very attractive man, but the two of them had not been together in a very long time. She had been with Christopher since then, but comparing them when in the bedroom was like trying to measure a pear against a piece of lasagna. Both were lovely and unique in their own ways, but Lorelai needed something more fulfilling than she had shared with her ex-husband, both physically and emotionally. She wanted Luke in all the ways she could have him, in all the ways they had been together before. She wanted back what she had lost – the man who fit her better than any man before or since.

But they were taking things… slowly.

The sexual frustration balanced well against the insecurities she wrestled with each day. And perhaps it would be easier to ignore the burning desire in the pit her of her stomach if she thought Luke suffered from the same problem. But glancing over at him sitting casually on the passenger's side of the truck, his attention fixed on the road ahead of him, he did not look like a man afflicted with uncontrollable sexual desire. If anything, he looked perfectly relaxed. And not only did his calm demeanor irritate Lorelai on a conscious level, but it also exacerbated her underlying problem by highlighting his most positive features.

Then Luke turned his head slightly, letting his eyes lock with hers momentarily before returning to the road. As he did so, the corners of his mouth lifted into a slight smile, a genuine look of appreciation that reflected a playful, flirtatious mood. And more importantly, for a brief second Lorelai saw in his eyes a touch of passion that mirrored her own.

Suddenly, her frustration morphed into anticipation. Perhaps it would be a satisfying weekend after all.

* * *

By the time they checked into the hotel, it was past ten o'clock and Lorelai was exhausted. They had stopped at Winky's diner for dinner, which had a wide selection food and even lobster on the menu. However, by unspoken agreement, neither she or Luke had ordered it. If asked, she knew she could not have articulated a good reason for choosing the roast beef over her favorite shellfish except for the memory of the last time she had eaten lobster. 

"_I love you, and I'm going to marry you, and at our wedding, we are having lobster."_

Lorelai sighed at the memory. That last night and morning of their trip to Martha's Vineyard had been perfect. A wonderful meal with her daughter and the men in their lives, a gorgeous necklace she was certain Logan had guilted Luke into buying, and a genuine talk. And most importantly, that night had been one of the few times Luke had ever said those three magical words: I love you. The next morning had been just as magical with breakfast in bed and discussion of elopement instead of a big wedding. It was the type of morning she wanted to repeat every lazy weekend for the rest of her life.

"You okay?" Luke asked, startling her back into the present.

"Yeah," she lied, unlocking the hotel room door and letting them inside. "I guess I was just thinking about the last trip we took together."

"Oh…"

She did not mean to put a damper on the moment, but Luke's sudden silence indicated that she had achieved just that. He set their bags on the dresser beside the television before lowering himself onto the queen-sized bed. However, the expression he wore as he looked up at her was far from upset or depressed.

"Come here," he requested quietly, the deep rumble of his voice making her a little weak in the knees. She complied easily, sitting down next to him. Unexpectedly, he reached out and took her hand, deliberately entwining their fingers before wrapping his other arm around her shoulder. The contact was both intimate and comforting, a pleasant counterpoint to the distance that separated them for so many hours in Luke's truck.

They sat together for a while, neither moving nor speaking, but rather just enjoying being together without other pressures or outside commitments. For one weekend, they had no other duties than to attend Mia's wedding. They could spend every minute locked in a mutual embrace if they wanted, and there would be no prying town eyes around to spy on them. They could talk and argue and fight without fear of some angry waiter kicking them out of their hotel room. Or… they could do other things.

Lorelai was very much in favor of the 'other things' option, although from their previous conversations, she had a feeling Luke wanted to keep up their slow pace. And as much as she physically wanted him right then, she wanted to make sure things worked out well in the end even more.

Shifting a little, she gently extracted herself from his arms. "I guess I should go take a shower," she said. "Wash off some of the dust from the road."

"'The road'?" Luke repeated in amusement. "Who are you – Willie Nelson?"

"No, I'm Johnny Cash," she retorted. "_I walk the line..._"

He rolled his eyes at her attempt to sing. "Go take your shower."

Flashing him a smile, she grabbed her toiletries case and headed into the bathroom, letting the door click shut behind her. Luke sat on the bed a few minutes longer until he heard water starting to run. He glanced around, from the television set to the hotel room door, and then back towards the bathroom. Suddenly, he stood up and took two steps towards it. But then he stopped, indecision written in every line of his face. Finally, he turned his back on the bathroom and flopped on the side of the bed furthest awaybefore using the remote control to turn on the TV.

Meanwhile, Lorelai leaned her head against to the cool plastic of the bathtub wainscot, letting the luke-warm water wash over her. It was going to be a long weekend.


	10. The Wedding

**A/N: **This chapter has some adult content. Read at your own discretion.

Thanks to everyone for the reviews. Sorry for the delay in updating. I tried to post on Saturday, but I was having problems and just got back into town. Hopefully this will tide you over.

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Wedding**

"Lorelai, you look terrific!" Mia exclaimed, enveloping the younger woman in a warm embrace. "I'm so glad you were able to drive down."

"Wouldn't miss it," Lorelai stated matter-of-factly. "Rory really wanted to come with us, but she had a lot of school stuff. Her last semester at Yale…"

"I can't believe she's all grown up. I still remember her toddling along, trying to take her first steps."

"I know. It feels like just yesterday I was changing diapers and rocking her to sleep." Lorelai sighed. "And before long, she'll be out in the world with some fabulous career and no time to visit her poor old mother…"

"And just how is her 'poor old mother'?" Mia asked, a hint of amusement wrinkling the edges of her eyes. "You said you were bringing someone with you this weekend."

She smiled in response. "Actually, he's parking the car. He should be right behind me…" As if on cue, the front door opened and Luke stepped in, looking very uncomfortable in his dark suit and crisp white shirt.

"Lucas!" Mia exclaimed. "This is quite a surprise. I'm so glad you could come."

"Hey, Mia," he responded, stepping forward to give her a hug. "Congratulations. Or best wishes... I can never remember which one you're supposed to say."

"That's okay," she assured him.

"So, yeah…" Lorelai said, stumbling a little over her words a little. "I brought Luke. He came with me. Well, really I came with him since he drove, and since we both had invitations…"

But Mia was smiling at the two of them too brightly to notice. "I'm so happy you both could be here. I guess this means…?"

Luke glanced bashfully at the floor, allowing Lorelai to take his arm as she confirmed, "Yes. Whatever rumors Miss Patty and the cast of _Steele Magnolias_ passed on to you, they're all true. Luke and I are… back together."

Mia barely blinked before responding, "Actually, it was Babette. But come in, let me introduce you to Howard."

They followed her through the house and met the various other people she had asked to be a part of her wedding. She introduced Lorelai as her almost-daughter, the woman that had been her right hand for so many years at the Independence Inn in Star's Hollow. But when she motioned to Luke, she referred to him as not only "the son of one of my dear old friends," but also as Lorelai's fiancé.

The first time she said it, Lorelai's eyes went wide with horror as she immediately looked at Luke to see his reaction. But when she turned back to correct Mia, he gently touched her arm, gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head, and mouthed, "It's okay." Whether he simply did not want to correct Mia or he liked the idea of being connected with her in such a concrete way, she was not sure. But she allowed herself to relax against him as he put a possessive arm around her waist.

A few glitches in the plan did arise as several people began asking follow-up questions like, "So when's the big day?" and "Oh, can I see the ring?" But they fielded them together with a combination of vague answers and distractions. Although at one point, Lorelai was on her way back from the restroom when she overheard Luke speaking to Mia's soon-to-be husband.

"So it sounds like ya'll haven't set a date yet," Howard commented, although his tone was more unassuming and friendly than some of the other guests had been.

"Yeah, well…" Luke began, obviously at a loss for how to reply.

"I recommend spring or fall, and I'll tell you why. Summer's nice – it's pretty. But it can be way too hot, especially if you're having an outdoor wedding. Are you two thinking about an outdoor wedding?"

"Well, maybe not completely outdoor, but-"

"See, the milder seasons are better for outdoor weddings. Unless you were planning on having snow. I know some women like snow, but personally, I think it's just too much white. White snow, white dress…"

Watching as Luke nodded along to Howard's discussion of weddings, Lorelai felt momentarily as though she had fallen into a parallel universe where men gave up trading baseball scores and football trivia for the specifics of flower arrangement and bridesmaid drama. However, the conversation caught her attention again when she heard Luke say, "Actually, we're not technically engaged yet. I mean, we were before. Then we had some problems and now…"

"You're not sure where you are," the other man filled in knowingly. "That's a tough situation my friend, a tough situation. But you do want to marry her?"

Without hesitation, Luke responded, "Oh yeah, definitely. I've always wanted to marry her. We just haven't been able to get it… Let's just say that we've had some problems."

"Well, I've been married twice now – about to be number three - and take my advice. Get 'em to say yes and then marry them as fast as you can get them down that aisle before they change their minds. I love being married. Did you know that statistically speaking, men are much happier when they're married than when they're single? Now, I don't usually trust statistics, but that one I believe."

Before she could hear more, Lorelai was drawn away by the distant sound of Mia's voice calling for her. The wedding was about to start and she needed a little female support and assistance. But as she helped put the finishing touches on her old friend's hair and makeup, she was distracted by the memory of Luke's words. She knew he wanted to marry her – he had said so already. But this was the first time she had ever heard him declare it to someone else, someone completely unrelated to them. The knowledge ignited something inside her, a feeling she had not allowed herself to indulge in for a very long time. Quickly downing a glass of champagne, she followed Mia outside for the exchange of vows.

* * *

After the ceremony and the obligatory toasting, Lorelai felt the champagne in her system beginning to take its effect. Her mind wandered to how beautiful Mia's wedding was, intimate and yet full of all the traditional aspects. And her imagination transformed it into her own wedding, the magical June 3rd she had planned in one perfect day. Instead of Mia's house, they were at that beautiful rose-covered church, surrounded by friends and family. Lorelai was wearing the dress that had been hanging faithfully in the very back of her closet for so many months (not having the heart to put it in the garage with everything else). And Luke was in a suit, much like the one he was wearing for Mia's wedding.

Afterward, the reception hall would have been full of people, milling and talking and enjoying the effects of too much celebratory cheer. But Lorelai would have eyes only for her new husband as he led her out onto the floor for their first dance as a married couple.

"Would you like to dance?" she heard his voice in her ear. And before she could respond, Lorelai's glass of champagne was taken from her hand and replaced with his warm fingers as he guided her through Mia's crowded living room.

Outside, the air was warm and crisp despite the fading light of the setting sun. Luke's hands slid around her deliciously, bringing her body against his in a sensuous touch that was both gentle and firm. Lorelai looked up at him through a champagne-induced fog, and he smiled down at her in return, as though they shared some secret between them.

And perhaps they did. Their first dance had been at a wedding, and it was in that moment that Lorelai had finally seen and acknowledged the obvious sparks between them. Much as she was doing now, she had reveled in the feel of him against her, a pillar of strength in the form of the most kind, thoughtful, responsible man she knew. He was everything in a partner that she had been looking for, a veritable gold mine of positive characteristics. And on top of all of that, she was attracted to him; she had been since the very beginning.

As she and Luke glided slowly across Mia's dance floor, paying more attention to each other than to their movements, Lorelai felt the past disappointments melt away. The pain they had caused each other was but a memory that sunk into the depths of her subconscious. Nothing else mattered except that she was in his arms once again, his eyes were focused on her, and they held that expression of adoration and desire that she needed to see.

"I need you," she whispered, low enough that only he could hear her. There was desperation in her voice, along with a healthy dose of tipsiness. Too much champagne and not enough Luke made Lorelai a desperate girl. "Take me home."

Luke did not need to be told twice. He expertly directed her back into the house so that she could say her goodbyes to Mia and Howard. Although she managed to mask her mild inebriation, the pair exchanged knowing glances as Luke led Lorelai to the door. He himself had drunk only a beer or two and was sober enough to drive, although the sudden tension in his body made focusing on the road just as difficult.

She noted in amusement that he drove much more recklessly than she had seen him do before, his hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white while he stared intently at the road ahead of them. Feeling playful, she unbuckled her seat belt and slid across so that he would have to put his hand between her knees to reach the gear-shaft. But it was not until she put her own hand on his knee and ran it along his inner thigh that he growled dangerously, "Lorelai…"

She ignored his protest, leaning closer so that she could run her lips along his jaw, already sporting the usual five o'clock shadow he wore so well. And then suddenly, she felt one arm go around her waist, pressing her to the seat as the car squealed to a sudden stop as the engine whined and groaned in complaint She heard the sickening sound of tires on asphalt swerving and waited agonizing seconds for the inevitable impact. But nothing happened.

Looking out the front window, Lorelai noticed that they were stopped at a red light – albeit at least one car-length into the intersection - and several passing cars honked their horns and made angry gestures at Luke's late observation of the light.

"Sit over there and buckle up," Luke said tightly, pushing her firmly away from him. She knew that his anger was at himself and the accident he almost caused, but it radiated from him in such force that it felt directed at her. Lorelai meekly re-fastened her seat belt and directed her attention out the passenger window for the rest of the ride.

Once they reached the hotel, Luke turned off the ignition but made no move to get out of the truck. He simply sat still, his gaze straight ahead as he continued to grip the wheel. Lorelai looked over at him nervously, not sure what to say or do. She was afraid to touch him or even to interrupt his thoughts by speaking. So she simply sat beside him, regretting her part in their near-accident but having no way to express this without making things worse.

Finally, Luke did speak, and his tone was entirely self-recriminating. "I can't believe I did that," he stated, and Lorelai saw him relax his hands. They shook unsteadily, whether from the after-effects of adrenaline or holding the wheel too tightly, she was unsure.

"You didn't do anything," she assured him.

"I almost got us both killed."

"No, Luke. It was my fault. I was distracting you-"

"I shouldn't have driven. I should have called us a cab."

He spoke as though he did not hear Lorelai at all, and the self-directed loathing in his voice touched something deep inside her. "Luke, we're fine. We're both fine. Nothing happened. You reacted in time; you kept us safe. And we're here, so let's go inside and forget about it, okay?"

Luke nodded unconvincingly, but did not get out of the truck until she walked around and opened his door, awakening him from the anxious trance he had fallen into. But once he got out and heard the door slam behind him, his eyes focused on her once again. "Are you okay?" he asked suddenly, both hands taking hold of her upper arms as she swayed back and forth slightly in front of him. While the trip home had been mentally sobering, the champagne still coursing through her body made itself known.

"I'm fine," she told him, but let him lead her inside anyway. "I could use some coffee, but I'm fine."

Luke was quiet as they walked to their hotel room door, distant and detached as though he were in some kind of shock. Lorelai shot him nervous glances periodically, wanting to ask him what he was thinking and tell her what she was thinking. Uncertainty caused her to hold her tongue.

But once they were inside the room, Luke's demeanor changed completely. His tight, emotionless expression dissolved into pure relief as he pulled Lorelai against him in a fierce embrace. For a moment, he hugged her so tightly that she had trouble breathing, then slackened his hold enough to ensure her comfort. They stood like that for what could have been minutes or even hours, both arms securely around her body, like he was afraid to let her go.

Wanting to reassure him, Lorelai let her hands move in small, soothing circles across his back. She said softly, "It's okay. Everything's okay. We're both fine."

He began to relax slightly against her, but he made no move to let her go. Sensing his need for the contact, she began a slow, gentle sway. It was similar to the way he had comforted her that night not too long before when Morey called him and he came over to check on her.

Lorelai thought it was strange how in their old relationship, touching had become something perfunctory and routine, like the quick morning kiss or the night time spooning. It was not something they had really indulged in on a regular basis, and especially not in public. Perhaps that was why she enjoyed dancing with him so much – having that intimate contact with no other expectations than to simply touch and be touched. Certainly, they touched when they were making love – not that they had done that any time recently - but it was not the same as just standing together and holding on.

And that was what they were doing – holding on. She suspected that Luke had been holding onto her for dear life when he first put his arms around her, and now he simply feared letting her go.

Rather than pull away or convince him in some logical, rational manner that she was completely safe, Lorelai simply converted their embrace into something more innocuous: a dance. With a little effort, she coaxed him into a more rhythmic movement as she began humming some nameless tune. While her buzz from the champagne had definitely worn off, the feeling of Luke pressed so tightly against her began to have renewed effects. Rather than taking his hand, she simply slid her arms around his neck, using their closeness to her own advantage.

She was conscious of the thin layers of fabric between their bodies and the way it slid against her skin when they shifted. Luke had also begun to relax a little, loosening his grip without letter her go. She could feel the tension beginning to drain away from his shoulders, only to be replaced by a different (and more welcome) stiffness. Lorelai's own desire, which had briefly faded in the wake of their near-miss on the road, returned to her in full force.

"God, Luke," she whispered finally. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"The same thing you're doing to me?" she heard him respond. The playfulness in his voice signaled to her that he had emerged from his uneasy state of mind.

"And what exactly am I doing to you?" Lorelai asked coyly.

He growled, "Making me crazy…" And before she had time to respond, his lips were on hers, having the dual effect of shutting her up and making her senseless. Luke may as well have lit every nerve ending on fire, as it would have had the same effect on Lorelai in that moment. The growing, aching need for him seized her body and clouded her mind like a drug. She wanted to touch him, to taste him, to feel him inside of her and all around her.

"Less talk. More sex," Lorelai gasped. She tugged at his suit jacket, then whined pitifully when he refused to take his hands off of her long enough to accomplish the task. But before she knew it, they made it to the bed, a tangle of well-dressed limbs and impatient noises as they both struggled out of their clothing. Lorelai was having trouble focusing on anything beyond the feel of his mouth as it tasted the skin along her collar bone and the pressure of his hands at her waist, so tantalizingly close to where she wanted them. She felt intoxicated by his familiar scent combined with the fancy cologne she had given him several Christmases before, the one he almost never wore.

Lorelai tried desperately to savor the moments, to delight in every touch and every sound that escaped his lips. But all she could think of was how _right_ it felt to be in Luke's arms, reminded of all the little sensations she had forgotten in their time apart. It was nothing new, really. Luke still kissed the same way he always had and ran his hands along her body on well-traveled planes. He had not become a better lover in their time apart; rather, Lorelai had become better at appreciating him. Not that she necessarily took him for granted before, but…

His mouth had found its way to a particularly sensitive area, and she gave up on rational thought altogether. She simply moaned aloud and arched toward him involuntarily. Nothing mattered except her and him and the incredible explosion of sensations between them.

But then Luke shifted so that he could nibble along her neck, and as he came close to her ear he whispered hesitantly, "Are you sure about this?"

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lorelai knew that if she told him she was not sure, that she wanted to wait, he would obey her wishes. He would drag himself off the bed and into the bathroom for a long, cold shower and then curl up with her to sleep. Of course, if he attempted such a thing he would not make it further than the foot of the bed before she tackled and ravished him.

"Am I sure about having sex tonight or am I sure about us?" she countered lustily.

"Either. Both."

He sounded so serious and uncertain, it brought her up short. How could he ask when she was naked and willing and eager for more of him? She told him, "Yes, I'm sure. I've never been more sure. Are _you_ sure? Because we can wait-"

"I'm sure," Luke cut her off, his voice surprisingly decisive. "I just wanted to make sure that _you_ were sure, because… well, with the wedding and the champagne and the red light and-"

"Sure, sure, I understand," Lorelai said, smiling a little at the repetition of the word 'sure' in their conversation. But not wanting to get bogged down in another round of tested resolve, she kissed him again. Taking the opportunity to push Luke onto his back as she leaned sensuously across his body, Lorelai let one hand drift downward in playful exploration. He groaned loudly when she found what she was seeking and brushed against him teasingly. She wanted to make _sure_ that in that moment that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Within a minute or two, Luke groaned again, more of a growl this time. And without warning he flipped Lorelai beneath him once more, covering her with his body. "I want you," he said, more of a plea than a demand.

She looked into his eyes, mesmerized by the level of love and passion they reflected. "You have me," she told him meaningfully. Then she moved against him and their bodies connected like they were made for exactly that purpose.

* * *

To say they made love like it was the first time would have been false. In many respects, they moved together with the practiced rhythm of two people who knew exactly what the other wanted and needed. Their mutual passion was both familiar and comforting, but also tinged with something more: hope for the future as well as acknowledgement of the past. They had a history, one that neither of them could or would ever forget. But despite the pain they had caused each other, there were too many good things about their relationship to completely discount.

And one of those good things, Lorelai had to admit once she had regained coherent thought, was lying naked and satisfied in the arms of a sexy man. She sighed in contentment as she let her fingertips trace designs across his well-muscled arms.

She confessed quietly, "I missed you so much."

Propping up his head on one arm so that he could look in her eyes, Luke asked smugly, "You did, huh?"

"Uh, huh. Well, not like I missed _Knots Landing_ when it went off the air…" Luke silenced her with a kiss intended for that goal. But when he pulled back, she continued, "Or when they stopped selling slap bracelets because kids were taking the plastic off and cutting themselves. One or two idiots have to ruin it for the rest of us…" He once again employed the pleasant technique of shutting her up, but it only worked for a moment before she broke away to add, "Oh, what I really miss is-"

This time, Luke leaned down to kiss her more deeply, a sensual exploration that took her breath away and focused her thoughts completely him. When he pulled away from her, his lazy, contented smile betrayed his happiness.

"I missed you too," he assured her. Without further discussion, Luke spooned against her, wrapping a protective arm around her body while pulling the thin comforter over both of them.

Lorelai lay awake for some time just listening to him breath and enjoying the warmth of his skin against hers. This was the way it was supposed to be.


	11. Something Special

N/A: Fluff alert for this chapter. My normally down-to-earth beta, who is usually charged with telling me when something is too fluffy, is, by her own admission, no longer objective in that capacity.

BTW, I've never been to _Daniel Stowe_, but I found it online and thought it looked pretty cool.

**Chapter 11: Something Special**

* * *

As Lorelai slowly began circling towards consciousness, she became aware of two things. First, the aroma of coffee was tantalizingly close by, and second, Luke's warm body was not. Blinking into the darkness of the hotel room, Lorelai tried to locate her wayward lover, whom she immediately noticed was standing on the far side of the room, packing up their belongings by the light from his cell phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked, although it came out as an almost unintelligible groan.

"I'm getting us ready to go," he answered softly.

Glancing at the clock to confirm her suspicions, Lorelai protested, "But its seven o'clock in the morning! Who gets up at seven…" She let her voice trail off as she remembered _exactly_ who woke up so insanely early. Luke had always been an early riser, even when she kept him up late. But usually he was much better about insulating her from the effects of his mad morning-person personality. "Why are we leaving so early?" she asked, trying a different tact. "Don't you want to just sleep in today? Lounge around a bit before we have to drive home? I could make it worth your while…"

Luke did not answer her, but instead strode across the room to her side of the bed. He turned on the bedside lamp, which earned a protest from Lorelai, then won her approval back by handing her the Starbuck's to-go cup that he had left on the table for her.

"Ooooh, coffee," she mumbled, accepting the bribe.

"There you go," he said. "But I want you to know the only reason I'm encouraging you to drink that vile stuff is so we can get an early start."

"You didn't tell me why we're leaving early."

Luke shrugged mysteriously and went back to packing.

"Hey, what about breakfast?" Lorelai pursued. "Did you happen to grab any donuts when you went out for coffee?"

Luke shook his head. "No donuts."

"But I'm hungry…"

"Then you better get dressed so we can go get some."

Lorelai grumbled irritably as she drank her coffee. But as she watched Luke get their things together and put them by the door, she basked in the renewed sense of them as a couple. The night before had been wonderful, and now she felt that they were truly reunited. Her lingering doubts and worries had begun to fade, replaced with a warm, soft feeling that everything would be okay. _They_ would be okay.

"Luke?" she called, noticing that he had almost run out of things to pack. Everything they had brought was sitting by the door, including the bag containing her clothing and bathroom items.

"Yeah." He looked up at her expectantly, and she could tell by his voice and the set of his shoulders that something was not quite right with him.

"Come here," she said, scooting over in the bed so that he could sit next to her.

"I thought you were getting up so we could leave," he grumbled, but sat down anyway. She snuggled up to him and gave him a bright look, finally feeling the caffeine beginning to kick in.

"I am getting up," she said. "But I want you to tell me why we're leaving so early. Why are you so gung-ho to get back home?"

"Who said anything about going back home?" he retorted.

"Then where are we going?"

"You'll see."

* * *

'_You'll see.' Famous last words._

Lorelai glanced out the truck window as they drove through Mia's city, still awakening on a Sunday morning. She spotted people walking into churches, wandering through parks, and even shopping for groceries. Ordinary people living ordinary lives. Just like her and Luke.

Except she had a sneaking suspicion that Luke was trying to do something out of the ordinary, something he was not used to trying. He was being spontaneous (or attempting to be), and while that did not bother her in the least, it made her a little crazy that he was so secretive about it.

"Where are we going?" she asked again for perhaps the tenth time.

"I already told you. And you won't get more from me by asking over and over again."

"You told me nothing. All you said was to wear comfortable shoes and bring my camera. And you made me stop and buy sunscreen. That doesn't tell me anything."

"It tells you enough," he pointed out.

"What does it tell me? Okay, we're going outdoors based on the sunscreen, and probably the 'comfortable shoes.' That makes me nervous since you know I'm not an outdoorsy person." Suddenly feeling a little insecure in teasing him too much, she began back-tracking, "Not that outdoorsy is bad. I love that you're outdoorsy. I'm just not sure that's something I can really keep up with you on and-"

"Lorelai, relax. We're not going camping or mountain climbing or anything. You'll like where we're going. Trust me."

She settled back into the seat, crossing her arms in frustration at his lack of answer. Luke looked over at her, then reached out a hand to pull on the strap of her seat belt, testing to make sure it was secure and tight. She almost made a teasing comment about this behavior but stopped herself when she saw his serious expression and remembered their near-accident the night before. He had also been driving much more carefully all morning, she noticed, as he kept both hands on the wheel at all times.

"Speaking of outdoorsy stuff, is April excited about the boat trip?" Lorelai asked, deciding to broach the subject that she had put out of her mind since the weekend trip to North Carolina had come up.

"Yeah, I think so. She's already planning a bunch of experiments she wants to run while we're out there. Something about algae spread and the effects of nitrogen… See, this is what bothers me. She already uses a lot of big words and concepts I don't understand, and she's only thirteen. It's only going to get worse as she starts high school. I mean, I know you're supposed to want the best for your kids, but its kind of eye-opening when you realize that they're actually smarter than you."

"Wait until she starts college," Lorelai said knowingly. "Then you'll really feel left behind."

Luke sighed in agreement. "At least you went to college."

"Business school," she corrected. "And that was intimidating, being the oldest one there surrounded by all these teenagers and twenty-somethings."

"I seem to remember you getting along pretty well with the teenagers," he teased dryly.

"God, when are you people going to get over that? It was one date and he looked much older in class."

"Sure, whatever you say."

"You dated a lawyer," she pointed out.

"I _married_ a lawyer," he acknowledged, making an exaggerated grimace. "Guess we all make mistakes."

Lorelai did not say what she knew he was probably thinking – she had married Christopher, the worst mistake of all. None of the lawyers and teenagers and parents' business partners in the world could top that flaw in her romantic history. But as she glanced at Luke, still clutching the wheel in a slightly nervous grip as he checked both ways at a stop sign, she realized that he was not thinking about that. His mind had moved on to more pleasant topics, probably the undisclosed location he was taking her or what he and April would do during their boat trip.

As if to confirm her very thoughts, Luke said, "You're still coming with us, right?"

"What?" Lorelai asked automatically, the non-sequitor throwing her off.

"The trip with April – you're still coming? I know you had to check with the inn and Sookie to see if you could take off, but you hadn't said anything, so…"

"Yeah, I'm still coming." She said it with conviction even though she had no idea whether she was needed at work or not. Whatever came up, Michel could take care of it. She was not going to miss this trip with Luke and his daughter – which she had apparently been invited to from the beginning – for anything.

"Good. I know April's excited to hang out with you. She still raves about her birthday party."

"And its getting to be that time of year again, isn't it? Maybe we could do a little something for her while she's in town, invite all her friends from here," Lorelai suggested.

Luke nodded in agreement. "That sounds good. Hey, we're here."

They had pulled into a parking lot, and Lorelai noted that a nearby sign proclaimed the location to be _Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens_.

"You brought me to a garden?" she asked, incredulous. "For breakfast?"

But Luke gave her a tolerant half-smile and said, "Come on."

As they made their way to the entrance, Lorelai saw that he had brought a large basket and a blanket she did not recognize. "What's that?" she asked automatically.

This time, he did roll his eyes. "You act like you've never been on a picnic."

"But you hate sitting on the ground."

"Yeah, well… today's a special occasion."

They entered through the gift shop, and while Luke paid their admission fees Lorelai began examining a map on the counter. She saw that they had gardens, pavilions, fountains, trails, and every kind of flower imaginable. The pictures on the brochures were absolutely beautiful.

"How did you find this place?" Lorelai asked as they entered the gardens. It was still early enough in the morning that the area was fairly deserted.

"Actually, Howard mentioned it yesterday. He said Mia wanted to have the wedding here but she couldn't get the day she wanted. There's some big meeting hall for receptions and stuff…"

"Yeah, it looks like a nice place for a wedding," Lorelai said wistfully. Spring had arrived, causing the garden's thousands of flowers to come into full bloom. The colors collided with a mass of greenery, all intricately crafted to maximize the natural beauty and aesthetics of the gardens.

They wandered slowly through the maze of flowers, stopping periodically to appreciate the majesty of a particular view or to admire a setting. As they passed a series of fountains, Lorelai insisted on taking pictures of each of them framed by the water, even snagging a nearby gardener to snap a few photos of both of them together. Luke pretended to suffer through it, but she suspected that he secretly enjoyed the attention and her excitement.

Eventually they found their way to a quiet, secluded spot in the azalea garden where Luke spread out the blanket on the grass. And while he groaned a little as he lowered himself to the ground, he made no other comment about the location. Lorelai simply smiled at him gratefully, not bothering to remind him of the opinion he once shared with her regarding people who sit on the ground.

But what really caused her heart to do backflips was the discovery of the breakfast/lunch he had packed. Sometime in the early morning hours while she still slept, Luke had bought roast beef sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, and potato salad, donuts and fruit, and most importantly – brownies. All of her favorite foods that could fit into a picnic basket, combined with healthy things he would eat. The spread was impressive, but they quickly and efficiently decimated it.

"So what prompted all of this?" she asked, looking eagerly at the man in front of her. After finishing his meal, Luke had sprawled out on the blanket, intent on making the best of the whole 'sitting on the ground' scenario.

"What do you mean?"

Lorelai shrugged her shoulders a little, glancing around so as to implicate the garden they were sitting in. "I mean – all this. I love the picnic and I love the location, but what prompted you to come here? This isn't really your typical kind of hang-out spot, Luke."

His voice was carefully neutral as he answered, "I don't know. I just thought it would be nice to do something… special today, especially since last night…"

"Since last night – what?" she prompted.

"Well, it was a cheap hotel room. Nothing very special about that."

"Luke, the 'where' doesn't matter nearly so much as the 'what' of last night," she assured him. "Seriously, I have no complaints whatsoever. In fact, I wish I had one of those little comment cards because I definitely would have filled it out."

She grinned at him cheerfully, but she could still tell he was hesitant to believe her. "Still," Luke said. "If I had taken the time, it could have been better. So I just thought today I could make it up to you, maybe do something romantic that we've never done before."

"Last night was special," she insisted, then pointed out, "And, you know, we have gone on a picnic before."

"What, that time you made me buy your basket and we ate _my_ food in the gazebo? Doesn't count. And besides, we weren't dating then."

She gave him a sly smile, scooting forward so that she was closer to him as she remarked, "So it only counts if we were dating at the time?"

"Yep."

"Nothing else matters?"

Luke looked at her more carefully, obviously hearing a note of seriousness in her voice that she had not intended. The intensity of his expression gave her momentary chills down her spine, and she was reminded of all the times in her life, especially recently, that the two of them had _not_ been dating. Dark days followed by months of living in denial. Wasted time, all of it, and she wanted nothing more than to forget it had ever interrupted their life together.

When Luke spoke, his voice was full of promise rather than regret. "Lorelai, sometimes I think that my life didn't really begin until that first day you walked into the diner. And sometimes it feels like that's when it ended. I know we were friends for a long time, but my best days were the ones when we were together. When I'm with you, you make me feel alive in a way that no one else ever has."

Surprised and embarrassed by his words, she glanced away. "You make me sound like Wonder Woman," she joked uncertainly, "but without the boots and bracelets."

"I know you're not perfect."

"Do you really?" Lorelai asked. "Because sometimes it feels like you put me up on this pedestal of perfection, and I have no idea how to stay up there without falling off and breaking everything. Which I guess is what I did…"

As she trailed off, Luke sat up. But instead of taking her in his arms like she thought he was going to, he took her hands and pulled her to lie back down with him. Only after he had settled her in the crook of his arm with one of her hands resting against his chest did he address her comment. "Lorelai, I do know that you're not perfect, that you make mistakes. I've made mistakes, too. And I think one of those mistakes is not telling you how I feel often enough. And you really are incredible."

"I think you're pretty incredible, too," she said quietly, fighting the tears that threatened to form behind her eyes.

"Okay, enough mushy talk," Luke declared. "It's starting to freak me out."

"Okay," she sighed, relaxing against him as she stared up at the azalea bushes all around them, the pink, white, and red flowers rustling softly in the breeze. As she fell asleep, it occurred to her that it did not matter where they were – the most beautiful place on earth or a musty old hotel room. As long as they were together and communicating, she was content.


	12. Filling the Void

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I've had a lot going on in RL, but I'm going to try to be better about updating more quickly. As far as the story, after this chapter I plan to parallel the actual end of season 7 (and maybe beyond), altering the storyline to fit my own nefarious purposes. To me, just because the show has ended, it doesn't mean the characters can't live on in whatever form we as fans decide.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Filling the Void**

"No, a little more to the left… Okay, too much. Back to the right just a hair…"

"Lorelai!" Red-faced and breathing heavier than normal, Luke shot her an irritated look to accompany his statement of protest. When he had offered to help her rearrange her new bedroom furniture, he had not anticipated it taking well over an hour and a half and as much manual labor as she could get out of him. His exertions had already forced him to strip off his flannel and baseball cap, leaving him in only a pair of jeans and a short-sleeved t-shirt.

"What?" she asked innocently. "Paul Anka is already going to be freaked out enough by moving the bed. The least we can do is make sure it's perfectly centered."

"It was perfectly centered twenty minutes ago," he grumbled, but bent down to comply with her latest direction.

Upon Lorelai's insistence, they had moved the bed from the wall opposite the bathroom to wall of windows on the other side. When Luke argued that area made a better place for sitting and reading because of the light, she admitted that she simply wanted a change. New furniture in a new arrangement for her new life. And Paul Anka would simply have to adjust to it – if he ever emerged from the closet.

In truth, Luke did not mind the change. The fact that she wanted things to be different reassured him that he had not simply re-entered her life and her bedroom in a strange revolving door of Gilmore indecision. Instead, he could see that the modifications she made were an attempt to make him feel better about the house that she had shared with another man. Although, if he had not already known Christopher was a resident for many months, Luke would not have been able to tell from the house itself. The man had not left a single reminder of his presence – not so much as a nail in a wall. Gigi, the little girl, had certainly done a number to the walls in Rory's room (crayons, perhaps), but not her father.

In contrast, everywhere Luke looked, he saw himself reflected in Lorelai's house. The shelves he had built. The porch he had fixed countless times. Colors they had picked out together, along with the ones he had picked out himself over Lorelai's inability to pick a shade of paint. The hardware on the bathroom cabinets. All of it. She had not changed anything major since their remodel, and it made Luke wonder if Christopher had been conscious of his own presence in the house.

Of course, he did not stay there all the time. Sometimes they slept at the diner, which was much more altered than Lorelai's home since Luke had made room for April. But one thing remained constant – no matter where they laid their heads down at night, they did it together. Luke actually tried on two separate occasions to sleep at his own apartment without her, but each time he found himself trudging towards her house late in the evening, unable to sleep without her beside him.

"Okay, I think that's it," she declared.

With a sigh of relief, Luke collapsed onto the bed. Manual labor did not usually exhaust him to such an extent, but after spending two hours moving all of Lorelai's new furniture around in circles as she weighed her arrangement options, he had the overwhelming urge to take a nap.

Flopping onto the bed next to him, Lorelai rolled closer and said quietly, "Thank you for this."

"'s okay," he responded tiredly. He sensed her shifting around on her side of the bed for a second, then she stilled. Peeking at her through heavy eyelids, he noticed that she was watching him intently. "You're staring at me again," he grumbled.

"Can I help it that you're really hot when you're tired and sweaty? If you don't want to be stared at, you should wear a parka."

"It's the beginning of April. You don't think people would stare at me for wearing a parka around town?"

"Good point – they probably would. But they'd be staring in that, 'Luke's so crazy, what does Lorelai see in him?' sort of way instead of the 'Luke's so big and handsome, that Lorelai is a lucky woman,' way." Lorelai spoke casually, but he could sense the way she was gauging her words. Ever since returning from Mia's wedding the previous weekend, she seemed more secure in their relationship. On the other hand, with the exact nature of their relationship having never been redefined, she struggled with being happy and excited and being cautious.

But with Lorelai, cautious rarely won out.

"You ever hear from Rachel?" Luke heard her ask, and the name pushed away any thoughts of a nap.

"Uh… yeah," he responded. "I got a post card a few days ago."

"And?"

"She's good. She's in India, I think. She's taking pictures, doing her thing. She said to tell you 'hi.'"

"That's sweet."

"Yeah..." He fell silent, not wanting to discuss his ex-girlfriend with Lorelai any more than he savored a trip to the dentist. For a root canal.

Suddenly the phone rang, and he restrained himself from sighing in relief at the welcome distraction. Lorelai moved only enough to pluck the phone from the receiver before saying, "Hello…? Oh, hey…"

The change in her voice and the few seconds of intervening silence were enough to alert Luke that something was wrong. His eyes were instantly open as he pulled himself into a sitting position. He made no pretense of not listening to her conversation as Lorelai resolutely focused her gaze on the new comforter.

"Uh huh… yeah, that's okay, but… no, well, why don't I bring it to you…? It wouldn't be any trouble, really… I could… Okay, no, that's fine… Tomorrow then… Okay, goodbye."

She hung up the phone and then paused awkwardly before stating, "That was Christopher."

Luke nodded. "I kind of figured."

"He said he left some of Gigi's things in the attic and wanted to come get them. I offered to take them to him, but he insisted. He's coming by tomorrow." Obviously with a great deal of effort, she forced herself to meet his eyes, and he saw the fear reflected there. "Is that okay with you?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Luke said, "It's your house. You don't have to ask my permission."

"But is it okay with you?" she repeated more forcefully. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable or upset-"

"I'm not."

She hesitated a few seconds before acknowledging, "Okay…"

They sat in silence for a while until Luke asked, "So, does he know - about us?"

She shook her head. "No, I haven't talked to him since the divorce. So unless he found out from someone else, which I doubt he would…"

"Okay." Luke could see the worry in her face, the alarm over his response to this unexpected development. And for a moment, he wondered if they had completely regressed to the state of their relationship before – his insecurities and her automatic fear of his reaction. Except, they were not the same people they had been before. They had not gone in a circle. Rather, everything had changed, twisted a hundred and eighty degrees, and then brought back to its previous position.

He knew she did not love Christopher, and he knew she did not want to be with him. She had her chance – they were _married_. But it fell apart because she still loved him, Luke Danes. When it came down to it, she had chosen _him_, even without knowing that he still loved her.

"Well, I'm supposed to work late tomorrow, but I can arrange to be here if you want," he said finally. As much as he despised Christopher Hayden and had no desire to ever see him again, he wanted to be supportive. And, if he was completely truthful with himself, he felt a little possessive and protective of her. While she had described the divorce as relatively amiable on both sides, he knew what his own reaction had been upon hearing Lorelai had slept with another man.

Surprised by the offer, she stuttering, "Oh, uh… well, you don't have to… I don't know what you would do…"

"I know. Just - if you need me around or want me to be here, I can be here." The statement was matter-of-fact and an end of the discussion.

Lorelai looked uncertain but nodded anyway, obviously acknowledging his need to abandon the subject. She fell silent for several moments, deep in thought as she stared intently into thin air. Taking the opportunity to study her, Luke noticed the worry lines that had begun to develop on her face. He had never minded her other small wrinkles, little laugh lines or crinkles at the edges of her eyes. Those imperfections simply reflected years of living her life as the cheerful and energetic person she was. But he hated to think what had caused the painful-looking folds between her eyebrows, certain that he had certainly been a recent contributor.

"Hey, come here," he said, breaking the uneasy silence as he reached out an arm to pull her against him. Once she relaxed, he eased them both back down to the bed before consciously changing the subject. "So are you still making me go to your parents' house for dinner tomorrow night?" he asked in mock dread.

"Not if you don't want to."

Brought up short by the seriousness in Lorelai's voice, Luke stated, "I said I'd go."

"I don't want to make you. If you don't want to go, we don't have to go-"

Her sudden turn of personality irritated him. He could not tell whether she genuinely wished to adhere to his preferences or whether the incident with Christopher had frightened her into that state of mind. Meekness had never been one of Lorelai's personality traits and it ill suited her.

"We're going," Luke declared somewhat angrily. "You wanted to go. I said I'd go. So we're going."

She said nothing for a while, and he regretted his tone of voice. But after a moment, she replied in a quiet, contemplative voice, "You do realize you just insisted on going to Friday Night Dinner, don't you?"

"I'm beginning to," he answered, grateful for some levity.

"Okay. Just checking."

They fell into silence, this time laden with a comfortable understanding. Tomorrow would be better, and the day after even better than that. Eventually Luke's irritation and insecurities would fall away and Lorelai's fears would be replaced with her usual boldness. Eventually.

* * *

Luke spent the afternoon worrying. Since becoming a father of a teenage girl, he had grown accustomed to the pastime. However, worrying about April's well being and worrying about Lorelai meeting with her child's father and ex-husband made for entirely separate experiences. 

"Order up!" Caesar called, and he mindlessly delivered the tuna melt and blueberry waffles to the couple at the table by the window.

She had not called. She had told Luke that _he_ would be coming over around 2:30 in the afternoon, and it was 3:15 and she still had not called. Not that he expected her to call him necessarily, but he had been hoping that she would stop by the diner afterward to tell him how it went.

Not that he was jealous. Just worried.

The image of Lorelai and Christopher walking arm-in-arm through town popped into his mind, and he was half-way to the door before stopping.

No, he would let her handle this. He trusted her. He loved her. And besides, she had chosen him. He repeated the thoughts to himself silently like a mantra, hoping to ward off the nagging feeling that if he just went over to check on things…

The phone rang.

"Hello?" Luke answered, not conscious of having almost bowled over two patrons in his haste to get to the telephone.

"Hey, Luke, it's me."

Giving a mental sigh of relief, he answered, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Fine. Christopher picked up Gigi's things. He just left a few minutes ago."

When she said nothing else, he prompted, "So that's all taken care of, huh?"

"Yep."

Luke noticed a hesitation in her voice, like a tiny note of sadness she was trying too hard to cover up. The sound cut through him like a physical jab of pain in his chest as he pictured her on the other end of the line, miserable over having seen _him_.

"Well, good," he stammered. "I'll be home around 6:00 so we can make it to your parents' place by seven."

His reminder of Friday Night Dinner instantly got her attention, although she seemed even more sad as she responded, "Okay. Sounds good. I'll see you then."

"Yeah, see you then," he echoed before hanging up the phone. With a heavy heart, he turned his attention back to running his diner and unwittingly back to worrying about Lorelai.

* * *

The drive to Hartford proved long and quiet with Lorelai staring out the passenger side window in eerie silence most of the way. She was brooding. Having done it himself most of his life, Luke recognized the act as it occurred in front of him. And in return, he knew that he was probably brooding in response. Thus, by the time they had reached Lorelai's parents' house, the foyer felt warm and inviting compared to the atmosphere in the truck. 

"Lorelai," Emily greeted them at the door, "And Luke, so good to see you." Her tone was flat but not hostile, which he took as a good sign.

Passing up the opportunity to tease her mother about answering the door herself instead of directing the maid do it, Lorelai went straight to the sitting room. But rather than ignore him, she reached down to take Luke's hand as she went, ensuring that he accompanied her. The action surprised him considering her distant manner in the truck, but he knew better than to complain.

Emily followed them into the room, looking distinctly uncomfortable as she sat down. "So how is everything?" she asked vaguely.

When Lorelai did not answer, Luke replied, "Really well, Mrs. Gilmore. How are you and Mr. Gilmore?"

She rolled her eyes and stated, "Please, Luke. You might as well call us Emily and Richard. It's obvious from my daughter that you're not going anywhere, so why bother with formalities?"

This caught Lorelai's attention, who addressed her mother sharply, "That's right – he isn't going anywhere."

"Well, why would he?"

"He's not."

"I'm agreeing with you."

Luke watched as they volleyed back and forth, some hidden subtext apparently driving their emotions as the statements themselves seemed harmless enough. He could not tell the point of contention, only that someone – either Emily or Lorelai herself – had reservations about the newfound relationship.

"Mrs. Gilmore-" Lorelai's mother looked at him with one eyebrow cocked and he amended himself, "_Emily_… I don't know what you've heard or what you're thinking about this, about me and Lorelai. But I think you should know that we're working things out, and we're not going to make the same mistakes we did before."

"So you're going to make entirely new ones?" she asked deadpan.

He shrugged. "Probably. That's what life's all about. Haven't you and Mist-er-Richard… haven't you and Richard had some problems?"

"Richard and I are _fine_," Emily responded in a clipped voice, and he realized he had inadvertently stepped into something again.

_Nothing like the Gilmore Friday Night mine field shuffle_, he thought to himself.

"Where is dad?" Lorelai chimed in, glancing around at the otherwise empty house.

Emily flew to her feet. "He's upstairs changing. I'll see what's keeping him."

Once she left, Lorelai leaned over to whisper conspiratorially in his ear, "He hasn't worn a suit since getting home from the hospital. But she has gotten him to wear a jogging suit to dinner instead of his bathrobe."

"But I had to wear a tie?" Luke asked, feeling silly.

"Per my mother's orders." Then she looked at him - really looked - perhaps for the first time all evening. He saw in her eyes a sudden understanding and camaraderie, a presence that had been lacking since her encounter with Christopher. "Besides, you look good in a tie."

* * *

Dinner proved pleasant but awkward as Emily threw out occasional comments directed at Lorelai and her relationship issues while Richard – in as jovial a mood as Luke had ever seen him – completely ignored his wife and commented favorably on Luke's return. 

"I always knew you two kids would work it out," he said with a smile.

"Um, thanks Dad," Lorelai said in surprise.

But Richard continued, "I mean, it may seem like you two are from completely different worlds, but that doesn't necessarily doom a relationship. Look at Romeo and Juliet."

"They both died at the end," Emily piped up.

"Yes, but they are remembered as an example of love triumphing over adversity."

"And family disapproval," Lorelai pointed out. Everyone at the table looked at her, and she shrugged her shoulders innocently. "What? I'm just saying…"

Richard ignored her, instead saying, "At any rate, I simply wanted to say congratulations to you both. Have you set a date yet?"

Luke blinked several times in confusion before glancing at Lorelai, who wore the same stunned expression. "Um… a date for what, Dad?" she asked.

"For the wedding. Roger Smith and his wife Betty said they ran into you this past weekend at a wedding down in North Carolina, and that you two were engaged again."

"What?" Emily demanded, clearly the most shocked person at the table. "You're _engaged_? Lorelai Gilmore, you never told me that. I can't believe you… You deliberately don't tell me about these major events in your life – when you get engaged, when you get married."

She was half-way to a standing position, her cloth napkin hurled at her place setting, before Lorelai could say, "Mom, we're not engaged."

Emily paused. "You're not?"

"You're not?" Richard echoed, looking distinctly horrified.

"No, we're not."

Luke shocked himself by casually interjecting, "Yet."

All eyes turned to him, but his caveat seemed to sooth things rather than make them worse. Emily settled herself back in her chair and Richard's serene expression returned. Even Lorelai beamed at him, a strange mixture of pride and satisfaction lighting her features.

Dinner returned to normal, or at least as normal as any dinner at the Gilmore residence could be, and by the end of the night Lorelai had returned to her usual self, complete with cracking jokes and making inappropriate comments just to earn admonishment from her parents. As they walked to his truck, Luke found himself marveling at the fact that for the first time, he had not hated every single moment of a Friday Night Dinner. In fact, with Richard's odd post-heart attack romanticism and Emily's curtailed disapproval, the evening was downright enjoyable in comparison to past dinners.

"That went really well," Lorelai said, sliding into the passenger side as he opened the door for her.

"I think so," he agreed.

"You're back on a first name basis with my parents."

"Yep…" He paused for a few minutes as he started the car towards Star's Hollow, then glanced over at her once again. "So are you doing okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been awfully… distant tonight. Ever since… well, you know."

"Oh." The expression Lorelai had worn earlier returned as she denied, "No, I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Just tell me what's bothering you," he asked.

"It's nothing."

"Obviously it's _something_."

"It's just… Christopher just said something to me today, and it makes me wonder…"

Luke's heart seized once again. Perhaps he had been right to worry about her and her ex, that maybe there were still feelings there. But either way, he had to know. They could not continue on with the shadow of the past following them around.

"It makes you wonder…" he prompted.

"He said that maybe I don't really want to be married or have a family, and that I'm just filling the void Rory left with whoever happens to come along – be it you or him or Paul Anka."

Luke stayed silent for a moment before asking, "You think that's true?" He could not bring himself to look at her as she answered.

"I think maybe it was true with him. I mean, after you and me… after all that, I was pretty lonely and depressed, and he was around, so..."

"And with me?"

"Luke, you aren't a substitute for Rory. You never were. I may have relied on you a lot when she was gone, especially when we weren't speaking. But Luke, there has always been something between us, even when Rory was still at home."

This time, he did look at her and was rewarded with an earnest expression of love and devotion. The woman next to him had no doubts, no reservations or hang-ups. She was simply afraid, afraid of her feelings, of the possibility of being hurt, and perhaps even of the future itself. Luke himself often experienced the heavy weight of renewed expectations – as both a father and a husband. But for Lorelai, it was more than that. Despite all their conversations, she needed something more, something concrete that she could rely on and point to when her anxieties reared their ugly heads.

It was a task Luke gladly accepted.

"I think so too," he agreed. "But Paul Anka – total replacement for Rory."

She nodded. "Oh yeah."


	13. Daughters

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews; they definitely make it worthwhile to keep writing, even with a busy schedule. This chapter takes place roughly during the time/circumstances as _Hay Bale Maze_.

**Chapter 13: Daughters**

* * *

"Excuse me sir, may I help you?" 

The snobbish man in a charcoal-grey suit regarded Luke coldly from behind the counter, staring at him over thin frames and a pointy nose. While he phrased his question politely, the flat tone implied the only thing he wanted to help with was showing Luke to the door.

Ignoring the man's condescension, Luke continued examining the glass case in front of him. He had done very little jewelry shopping over the years, and while he considered himself to have fairly decent taste, the sheer selection baffled him.

"Um, can I see that one?" he requested, pointing to a piece at the back. Wordlessly, the man unlocked the case and presented it for closer inspection, all the while keeping his eyes firmly on Luke.

But he gave no indication of noticing, instead focusing his attention on the item he had requested a better look at. It seemed like Lorelai's taste, although judging how a woman would like a particular piece of jewelry seemed as much an exercise in futility as anything. He glanced at the price tag, as much for a frame of reference as anything, and felt proud when he refrained from verbally expressing his shock.

"Perhaps you would be interested in something more… economical?" the man behind the counter asked snidely.

"No, this seems about right," Luke answered, schooling his features into a poker-player stance of neutrality. "But do you have anything a little more… understated?"

"Several of the department stores at the mall sell cubic zirconium and stainless steel, if that is what you are looking for."

Luke shook his head. "No, I mean something a little more, I don't know, subtle. Smaller, maybe, or not so ornate."

The man gave him a cold look of appraisal. "Are you buying for a woman today?"

"Yeah…"

"Then trust me - women are impressed by size and quality, not by simplicity. If she wants something small and casual, she can get it herself."

Luke snorted at the assessment. "Tell me something, do you have any relatives from France? Because I know this guy who reminds me of you a lot…"

The man flashed him an angry glare before putting returning the jewelry and locking the case, saying simply, "Please let me know if I can be of any more assistance," before walking away to the back of the store.

"Jerk," Luke muttered. But with the salesman gone, he still had no luck picking out a suitable piece for Lorelai. Some were beautiful and brilliant, just like her. But others seemed more her taste – flashy and intricate. He simply did not know. One thing was certain – he needed a woman's opinion.

* * *

"Can you believe all this hay?" 

"It is a lot of hay."

"This isn't a 'lot' of hay. This is a huge amount of hay, like the amount of water in the oceans or oxygen in the atmosphere-"

"I get it," Luke interrupted, sensing a caffeine-induced rant against Taylor's latest town project. "It's a lot of hay."

"A _lot_ of hay."

Lorelai looked at him, completely still and quiet for a few seconds, and he could sense her simply enjoying the moment. Ever since she had begun eating at the diner again, their lives had slipped back into a familiar routine. Every morning they would talk (well, he would talk, she would babble and flirt shamelessly, depending on her mood) before she headed off to work at the inn. But sometimes he noticed a calm overtake her, and rather than panic in her eyes, he saw gratitude that things were almost back to normal.

Crazy town events and all.

"So you picking up April at the airport today?" Lorelai asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah," Luke acknowledged. "She's really looking forward to the Spring Fling and seeing her friends again."

"Probably a good idea that you put off the boat trip until the summer…"

He shrugged automatically, attempting to hide his disappointment. With April only in town for a week it made sense to push off the trip for a few months when they could spend more time on the water. But he had really been looking forward to trying out the new boat. More importantly, Luke saw the trip as a bonding experience for Lorelai and his daughter – something he realized he should have been encouraging from the very beginning.

"We're still going," he affirmed.

"I know."

"You're not getting out of it that easy."

She grinned at him. "Wouldn't dream of it."

While the prospect of spending several weeks on a boat with him and his teenage daughter did not strike Luke as Lorelai's idea of a dream vacation, she had taken to the plan with remarkable warmth. When he had first posed the idea to her, she had said very little, and his misgivings had almost gotten the best of him. But after Mia's wedding and their… refound intimacy, her excitement increased exponentially.

"So I'll see you at the town meeting this afternoon?" she asked, gathering up her purse and the various other items that seemed to accumulate on the counter beside her during breakfast.

Luke nodded an affirmative before leaning forward to kiss her goodbye. But as their lips connected in a quick, casual touch, he felt a driving need for more. Instead of letting her slip out the door, he reached out and gently grasped her wrist, pulling her back to the counter in a surprise move. As he did so, he kissed her again, more aggressively and with more passion than he usually felt comfortable displaying.

Giving into his insistence, Lorelai did not break the kiss until he did. By that time, several patrons had noticed and were issuing cat-calls and making other semi-obscene comments. But Luke let it fade into the background as he locked eyes with her.

"I'll definitely see you later," he said, his words full of portent and promise.

This time, her smile contained embarrassment mixed with guilty pleasure. Lorelai rarely blushed, but he noticed a slight coloring in her cheeks at the hint of suggestiveness in his goodbye. Luke's expression of happiness turned to a genuine smile as he saw her bump into the door on her way out, then collide with two people on the sidewalk before turning to flash him one last wave.

* * *

"Dad!" 

Momentarily abandoning the teenage stoicism that she had assumed upon turning thirteen years old, April rushed over to Luke and threw her arms around him. If anyone outside the security checkpoint of the Hartford Airport noticed, they gave no indication of it except for one older woman who smiled kindly at the sight of father and daughter reunited.

"Hey," he said, hugging her back. While he had tried to act positive and reassuring about her move to New Mexico, the intervening weeks had tugged painfully at his heart strings. Luke hated being separated from his daughter.

April quickly regained her adult-like composure and proceeded to tell him about the flight as they made their way to baggage claim. As usual, she chattered a mile a minute, and while he had trouble keeping up with her at some points, the fact that she was there, in person, telling him about sub-par science teachers and the new friends she had made caused him to smile.

"So where's Lorelai?" she asked once they had reached the truck. The way she looked around in confusion, he realized that April expected Lorelai to have accompanied him to the airport. Luke had not even thought to invite her, and he suddenly wondered if he should have.

"Uh… she's working. But I thought we could meet up with her later. There's a town meeting about the carnival-thing they're having tomorrow."

April nodded in acceptance. "Cool. I like Lorelai. I'm glad you two finally decided to work things out."

She said it so matter-of-factly, as though she had expected them to get back together all along and was just waiting for them to figure it out. Her reaction mirrored that of most of the town residents – immediate, quiet approval usually accompanied by a wink and a nod. It occurred to Luke that everyone around him somehow knew the outcome of his life even before he did, that he and Lorelai were _supposed_ to be together.

At first, he had chalked it up to too many busy-bodies and not enough celebrity scandal to keep them occupied. But gradually, he had come to the same conclusion as everyone else: every day apart was simply a day wasted on useless stubbornness. Luke would never love another woman the way he loved Lorelai, and he had given up trying. The only real doubt that plagued him was the quiet voice in the back of his mind asking if she loved him as much, if she wanted what he wanted. Most of the time he could answer that voice in the affirmative, that Lorelai did love him the same way he loved her and wanted the 'whole package' with him. Most of the time.

* * *

True to his word, he and April met Lorelai at the town meeting, where the two most important females in his life greeted each other with a squeal of excitement and a hug. The three of them sat with Sookie and Jackson as they listened to Taylor's latest hair-brained scheme, and then left together once the news of the 'reallocation' of all funds for the Spring Fling into the hay bale maze. 

Luke had never been fond of mazes. They twisted and turned and confused you for no good reason. Where was the fun in being turned around and lost all the time? On the other hand, April sounded excited, and Lorelai was happy about Rory coming home for the weekend, even though Logan was accompanying her.

"I don't know. He just… I'm trying not to be judgmental. Rory's an adult now, she can make her own decision," she said, sipping coffee at the diner counter. April had made her way upstairs to put her things away and call her mother. "But I don't love that he just did a business deal behind his father's back and lost millions of dollars. And I don't love that after that, he quit his job and moved in with Rory. These are not things I love."

"Millions of dollars? Wow," Luke commented, not sure what else to say.

"Yeah. And now, in the name of getting on his feet, he's writing in some sort of idea book, which is, as far as I can tell, just a notebook in which he writes ideas. I mean, I have a dream journal, but I don't use it as evidence of my responsibility."

He nodded in understanding. Lorelai's unspoken concern centered on Logan's lack of reliability, a quality that certainly reminded Luke of another man who tended to interrupt the Gilmores' lives. He wished that he could offer her some sort of consolation, to ease her worry over Rory's direction in life. But one thing he had begun to learn with April was that sometimes kids had to learn by making their own mistakes.

"Rory's smart," he assured her. "She knows what she's doing. And Logan's a good kid. I don't think he'd ever do anything deliberately to hurt her."

"I don't think so either," Lorelai agreed. "I just… She's twenty-two years old. She has the whole world at her feet. I don't want her to lose that or give anything up because of a guy who runs to Vegas every time he screws up or something gets too hard for him to deal with. That's not Rory."

"She'll be fine."

Though his words offered her little comfort, they had to do as April reemerged downstairs and Lorelai headed off to the Inn. They had plans for everyone to meet up for dinner later, and he could sense her excitement at having a real 'family' evening with both of their daughters, even if Logan's presence made her nervous.

"Hey, Dad? Why do you have a Zales catalogue upstairs?" he heard April ask, breaking into his train of thought.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that…"

* * *

Despite Lorelai's desperate attempts to hide her misgivings regarding Logan throughout dinner, Luke noticed her fake more than a few smiles and laugh a little too eagerly at times. For a woman who smiled and laughed every day at the drop of a hat, he considered it no easy task. But somehow, in the years he had known her, he had really learned Lorelai's language. He knew that when she used "great" instead of "terrific" she was trying too hard to convince someone of something, and when she blinked before reacting she needed a moment to plan her response. He could also read her body language as easily as he had memorized a manual. 

So when he felt her gently nudge his knee under the table towards the end of the meal, he instinctively understood her regret that they would be sleeping apart. It was their first time in the weeks since reconciling, and neither of them were looking forward to it. But with both daughters in town, no arrangement seemed appropriate. Luke could not leave April alone, and Lorelai flatly refused to share a bed with him in the same tiny apartment as his teenage daughter (not that Luke had been keen on that idea either). Besides, she was clearly nervous about leaving Rory and Logan alone in a house together, completely unsupervised.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Luke assured her as the three of them headed for home. Giving her a quick kiss goodbye, he felt uncomfortably aware of the young eyes watching them – all in quiet approval.

"Bye, Luke. Thanks."

"No problem," he said, then whispered quietly so that only she could hear, "And try not to kill Logan."

The comment earned him a smile and an amused, "I won't. See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Luke!" Rory called, and Logan echoed with a wave.

As he watched them walk away, Luke realized how interminably far away 'tomorrow' really was. But April quickly distracted him with teenage innuendo thinly veiled in the form of questions about himself and Lorelai. Having already given her thorough opinion of the best ring to buy, she wanted to know about his plans for popping the "big question," not to mention all the specifics of the wedding itself.

"I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I don't even know if she'll say yes," he defended as they sat at the kitchen table, a bowl of ice cream in front of her and a glass of milk in front of him.

"Oh, she'll say yes," his daughter assured him. She spoke with such conviction that he wondered if she based her answer off of some sort of unexplainable female intuition.

"We haven't been back together for that long, just a few weeks…"

"But she loves you."

"She just got divorced a few months ago," he pointed out.

"But – she loves you," April repeated, stressing the three words that caused the hairs on the back of his neck to prickle, not uncomfortably. Lorelai herself had told him she loved him, and they were not words that she threw about casually. She loved him. But would she marry him? And was it too soon?

"It's too soon," he stated with conviction. "She needs more time. I just was thinking about the ring in case…"

"In case she comes to the diner one night in a hurry to elope because she's sick of waiting to get married?" April suggested. He flashed her a look of surprised horror, to which she answered with a chagrined shrug of the shoulders. Rolling his eyes, Luke wondered if anything in his life would ever be sacred enough to escape the Star's Hollow gossip mill.

"Maybe I'm not ready to get married," he said aloud, more to himself than to his daughter.

But she answered him with the self assurance only a teenager could project. "Oh, you're ready."

Luke stared at her for a minute, letting the confidence he heard in her voice wash over him. He wondered if her words sprang from a need to comfort her father or from that wellspring of feminine knowledge she was already demonstrating. "You think so?"

She nodded without hesitation, and he decided to assume the latter. "Besides," she added, "Neither of you are getting any younger. And if you want to have any more kids, you should have them before Rory gets married and has her own kids. 'Cause it's always weird when you have nieces and nephews older than you. Not that I would know, of course, since I'm an only child. But still."

The thought of Rory having children had not occurred to him. Luke could still picture her sitting at a diner table covered with books that looked too big and complex for her to read. The image startled him into the unwelcome reality that not only had Rory grown up, but the girl sitting in front of him was likely to do the same thing some day.

"I mean, if that's something you're thinking about," April back-tracked, noticing the odd look on her father's face. "Maybe you don't want to have more kids… That's a perfectly reasonable lifestyle choice. You've both had one already. That's zero population growth. Although, actually, it only works out that way if you'd had two together. But since you've each had one on your own, it's negative population growth unless you have one more together…"

"I don't know if we'll have more kids," he stated quietly, interrupting the embarrassment-induced discourse on population projections. "I mean, we talked about it once, back before we… well, _before_. But I don't know if she still wants that, or if I do, or if we even _can_ or…" Frowning in thought, he glanced up at April. "How would you feel about us having more kids, anyway?"

She seemed surprised at the question. "Um… fine," she answered. "I like kids, as long as there aren't diapers involved. I'm not big on changing dirty diapers. I mean, I think I can do it. I have the methodology down. I just haven't had a chance to work on technique, and… I'm not sure I want to learn that just yet."

"So other than no dirty diapers?"

"I'm fine."

Trying to fall asleep later that evening, Luke's mind reeled as he tried to process the baby issue into the 'marrying Lorelai' goal. Having met April and learned the joys and trials of fatherhood, part of him wanted to share that with the woman he loved. But after much thought, his ultimate answer was once again what it had been when they got engaged the first time – whatever Lorelai wanted, he wanted. If she wanted more kids, he wanted more kids with her. If she was happy with negative population growth and only cleaning up after Paul Anka, he was satisfied with never learning whether there truly was a good technique for changing dirty diapers.

* * *

The hay bale maze turned out to be surprisingly enjoyable, and April disappeared into it for most of the day, quickly discovering the way out and then attempting to time herself. However, it still annoyed Luke to no end when he had to make his way through it in order to make a simple across-town delivery. Not that he should have been making the delivery himself, he thought irritably, except that Zach had forgetten several items in his hay-fever induced fog.

Glancing down at the 'cheat sheet' directions Zach had written down for him, Luke let his mind wander to the night before, after sending April to bed. He had gotten very little sleep, tossing and turning in discomfort until he realized the source of his problem – no Lorelai. He tried hugging a pillow to his body, but it proved a poor substitute and her lingering scent on his sheets only further reminded him of her absence.

Finally, around midnight, he had gotten out of bed, grabbed his cell phone, and padded to the bathroom. Shutting the door quietly behind him, he dialed her number.

After two rings, she answered tiredly, "You can't sleep either, huh?"

"Come over," he implored.

"I can't. Rory and Logan are downstairs…"

"They won't know." Luke hated how desperate he sounded, but his desire to see her again, to feel her and make sure she was real – that they were real – overwhelmed him. He had spent too many sleepless nights alone while they were apart to ever willingly do so again. "Please."

His plea must have struck a cord with her because after a moment of silence, she agreed, "Okay, I'll come over for a few hours. But I'm sneaking back before the kids wake up. Wait, April's there. What if she hears me come in?"

"Don't worry. When she falls asleep, she's out."

It took a little convincing, but within fifteen minutes Luke found himself quietly opening the apartment door for her. Much to his amusement, she deliberately tiptoed to their bed without a word and silently burrowed under the covers on her side. He followed behind her, breathing a sigh of relief once he was able to touch her in the dark and loosely settle an arm around her waist. Only then did they both fall asleep.

Unfortunately, the few hours they had before Lorelai insisted on getting up and returning home were not sufficient to keep Luke from tiredly taking a wrong turn in the hay bale maze. But as he turned to back track, he almost ran head-long into the very source of his exhaustion.

"Hey!" he said brightly.

"Hey," Lorelai answered, blessing him with one of those heart-piercing smiles. "You making a delivery?"

"Yeah, Zach forgot these." Holding up the bag in his hand, he shrugged.

"You didn't kill Logan last night, did you?"

"No, actually. I ran into him this morning when I was… sneaking out… We came to sort of an understanding. I don't know. I think he's going to be okay."

Luke nodded in understanding, and for a moment they stood there looking at each other.

It felt like the right time to say something important, to ask her one of the many questions that had come to mind since he had made the decision to buy her a ring and propose. But in the end, he settled for taking two steps towards her and gathering her to him. He kissed her on her forehead before tightly wrapping his arms around her.

"Luke…"

"Shh…"

From the emotion in her voice, he sensed that she was going to say something unnecessary, something she had already said or expressed to him in some other way. But all the words had been spoken, the regrets laid on the table, and the insecurities bared. He needed nothing from her except her love and her presence.

After a while, he heard her murmur jokingly, "You know, they may never find us in this maze."

"I know the way out," Luke told her. "Zach wrote it on a paper for me."

"Who said I wanted out?"

With that, she separated from him, taking him by the hand as she led him deeper into the maze, leading him confidently into the unknown.


	14. What She Doesn’t Say

**A/N:** I know, I know, its been a year since I updated. But if anyone still wants to keep reading, I am declaring now that I am making it my summer resolution to finish this story! The last few chapters have corresponded with episodes in season 7, and that's the way they will continue (more or less). This chapter takes place around the time of _Just Like Riding a Bike_.

**Chapter 14: What She Doesn't Say**

* * *

When her car died and she got the bad news from Gypsy, she did not tell Luke. It was not a conscious decision, perhaps, but for some reason, she just did not think to immediately share that particular news with him. Keeping the secret once she failed to tell him – that was a conscious decision, Luke decided, or a series of them as she hid her automobile crises.

Of course, Luke could tell something was wrong when she started 'carpooling' with Sookie to the Dragonfly. Then as her bicycle suddenly made a reappearance from the dark recesses of her garage, even more warning bells went off.

But in the end, the truth came out the way it normally does – Kirk let it slip one morning in the diner. He had found out from Babette, who heard it from Miss Patty, who got it directly from Gypsy. With the cat out of the bag, the only thing left for Luke to do was determine why he was the last to know when Lorelai needed a new vehicle.

"I was going to tell you," she insisted unconvincingly from the passenger's seat of his truck. After confronting her with his knowledge, she had guiltily agreed to go looking for a new car, justifying that now he knew, he could drive her to Hartford and help her find something suitable.

"Why didn't you tell me when it happened?" he demanded.

"I was on the phone with Rory. What did you want me to do – hang up the phone with Rory so I could call you? 'Hey, honey, have to go now because the car died. Have to call Luke to let him know, then Gypsy and a tow company.' What good would that have done?"

"I don't know, I could have picked you up," Luke pointed out.

"I got a ride with the tow truck guy. He was very nice, by the way, and he had that whole plumber's crack thing going on. If things don't work out for us, I might just run away with him to Maui."

"I'm not joking about this, Lorelai."

She threw up her hands. "I didn't tell you right away. It's not like I was never going to tell you. And it's not like it was a big deal anyway."

"You need a new car," Luke argued. "You've been riding your bicycle to work every day this week. That's not a big deal?"

"No! Unlike, say, finding out about a kid you never knew about, I'd say it's not that big of a deal at all."

"So THAT'S what this is about? I didn't tell you about April so you're not going to tell me when stuff happens to you?"

"It's not like that," Lorelai insisted, her voice becoming more desperate. "I just… I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want it to be another thing you had to take care of."

By this time, they had reached the car dealership and had left his truck. A salesman started towards them, but upon noticing the heated argument, the man diverted to different potential customer.

"Why would I mind helping you out when your car broke down?" he asked in confusion.

"You have a diner to run. At least that's what you always say. Personally I don't think you work there. I think you sit in the back and do sodoku all day-"

"Lorelai…" he growled.

"_Luke_," she threw back, exaggerating his irritated inflection.

He sighed deeply, putting his hands on his hips as he regarded her for a long moment. Sometimes the woman infuriated him past the point of all logic or reason, something he thought only Taylor could really do. But it truly hurt him to know she did not share something so important in her life, and for no good reason that he could see.

"Just pick out a car," he grumbled in resignation.

Thus began the day from hell.

* * *

Four hours later, Lorelai was still car-less. Luke's patience had continued to grow thinner and thinner until it reached a gossamer level. Their argument had led to griping which led to sniping, and finally to actual fighting. Buying a car based on a feeling, tiles being too big for the bathroom, SUV's with inferiority complexes, milkshakes, her purse… All of it proved to be just too much, and they drove home in silence.

Oddly enough, Lorelai seemed inordinately pleased with the day as he dropped her off at her house, more so than he had seen her in a long time. This contradiction, coupled with her still insufficiently explained failure to share the car-dying news, alternately infuriated and mystified him. So that evening when Liz showed up with baby Doula in her stroller, Luke had to force himself into a better mood for the sake of his sister and niece.

"What's got you all riled up?" Liz asked.

"Nothing. Lorelai – the engine in her car quit and she has to get another one."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that. That's such a pain."

"How'd you hear about it?" he asked, curious.

"Let's see… oh, T.J. told me. I think he heard it from one of the guys at the hardware store. You know that anything having to do with you two is big news all over town, right?"

"Big news… right. And I didn't hear about it until three days after the fact."

"Lorelai didn't tell you?" Luke shook his head. "Well, she must have had her reasons."

"Something about not wanting to bother me – I don't want to talk about it right now anyway. What can I get for you?"

Liz looked at him appraisingly for a moment. "You know what you need, big brother? You need some time all alone with your little niece."

Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm not babysitting."

"Oh, come on. Just for an hour?" she begged. "I really need some time to myself today."

"Where's T.J? Shouldn't he be able to watch her for a while and give you some time to yourself?"

"Luke, I love T.J. but he doesn't always do well by himself when it comes to watching Doula. Besides, she likes you. She's always so happy after she comes to visit you. I'm telling you, you're a natural with babies…"

If asked, Luke would have blamed Liz's complimentary statements for her ability to convince him of anything, including watching his niece for the afternoon. But deep down, he knew that he gave in to her because he genuinely enjoyed the baby. He liked watching her sleep. He liked feeding her. He was not a big fan of the whole diaper changing procedure, but he had quickly learned that it was not the end of the world either. Actually, with Doula's relatively quiet nature and friendly personality, Luke quickly found himself thinking about having another child with Lorelai.

Any child of theirs would probably have Lorelai's beautiful blue eyes and dark hair, not to mention her addiction to junk food. But he felt confident that he could impart some healthy eating habits if he was around from day one.

Day one.

Luke really liked the thought of experiencing fatherhood from the moment his child was born. Sure, he had Doula, but it simply was not the same to see your niece once a week for a few hours and to take care of a baby every day of its life. Even with April, he had been spared most of the hard stuff. She arrived on his doorstep a perfectly health, bright, vivacious twelve-year-old needing only a little attention, some money for necessities, and a few answers to questions even he was not entirely sure about.

But a baby… a baby would need everything. The thought both scared and excited him, mostly because while he could picture himself with the theoretical child, he also saw Lorelai standing right next to him, doing what she did best – being a mother.

Doula must have sensed his inattention, as she began to cry until he picked her up and began rocking her back and forth. "What do you think about having a little cousin?" he asked the baby, who merely sniffled at him in response.

Later that afternoon after Doula had been picked up and Luke had gotten a chance to think about things, he finally had a plan to put into action.

* * *

To say that Luke was surprised when Jackson opened Lorelai's door later that night would be as much an understatement as saying Lorelai simply felt _disappointed_ when the coffee ran out. But to his credit, he merely asked for her, nodded through Jackson's description of the most disgusting dinner ever conceived, and refrained from any comments on the man's wardrobe. Thankfully, Lorelai came to the door in relatively short order, shooing Jackson back to the couch in some kind of bizarre mommy-child scenario.

"Hey, what's going on?" she asked, sounding more cheerful than she looked. Dark circles had made a reappearance under her eyes, and he could tell by the casual way she tied her hair back that her usually vivacious energy was in short supply.

Taking a deep breath, Luke launched into the speech he had already carefully prepared. "Okay, here's the deal. I borrowed Kirk's computer, and Zach got me on this Craigslist thing, and I found a 1999 jeep wrangler for sale. The guy actually doesn't live too far from here, so I went to see it. It looks like its in pretty good shape. So I ran the VIN number. It's got a clean history – no accidents, no failed emissions. And the guy said he kept it up pretty good, and there's nothing really wrong with it. So I took it for a test drive, and it drove fine. So if you want to keep your old car, for whatever crazy feeling it gives you, okay? Then buy this guy's car and send it to Gypsy. She'll take the engine out, put it in the old car, which makes absolutely no sense because you'd basically be paying the same amount of money to fix your old car as you would be paying to get a new one."

As he recounted the afternoon's events, Luke watched as Lorelai's face melted into a smile so genuine, all the effort in the world was worth it just to see her so happy.

"But I'd still have my car," she said with a grin.

"Yeah, Gypsy said it'll take about two weeks to finish. Here's the number of the guy, Larry. That's his name. I already negotiated him down 1,500 bucks. Tell him you're Lorelai, Luke's friend. He'll know."

"Thanks, I will." She stared at him for a moment, and he could see the moisture developing in her eyes. "Luke…" she started.

He held up a hand in response. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I… I don't know," Lorelai confessed, and for the first time that day, she seemed as confused about the circumstances as he did. "Actually, my first instinct was to tell you, to call you right when it happened so that you could come help me. But…" Her eyes narrowed for a second as she continued, "I guess I just didn't want you to rescue me. I wanted to prove that I could handle things on my own without needing you there all the time."

"So it wasn't about April?" he asked.

"Not consciously…" Luke heard the hesitation in her voice, that subtle inflection which betrayed her doubt.

"I know that you're strong," he told her. "You are the strongest person that I know. But it's okay to ask for help sometimes, especially from me."

Sighing deeply, Lorelai stated, "Luke, you're more than just the person I run to for help. You're the one who has _always_ been there for me – when I needed the money for the inn, or when my dad was in the hospital, when Sookie went on early bed-rest and couldn't cook-"

"Lorelai," he tried to interrupt. But she was on a roll.

"-or when I was crying in the yard and Morey called you or when I had termites under the house or -"

"Lorelai," he attempted again, this time breaking through.

She looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"I will always be here. You can always come to me," Luke assured her.

"That's not my point," she insisted. "My point is that I always run to _you_ when I need something and I wanted to show I could do things on my own."

"So you don't like it when I help you?" he questioned.

She rolled her eyes in irritation. "No, of course I like it when you help me."

"Then I don't understand."

"Luke, I'm just…" she trailed off, frustration and annoyance written in every line of her face. "Nevermind, don't worry about it."

"Hey," he said forcefully, gently gripping her shoulders so she had to face him. "You've been acting weird for a couple of weeks now. I wish you would just tell me what's been bothering you."

Lorelai looked up at him, her eyes misty with unshed tears. "I don't know what's wrong," she stated quietly. "I just get these ideas in my head, and I can't get rid of them. They keep twirling around like clumsy ballerinas that bump into everything. Maybe Miss Patty trained them, I don't know. I'm sorry, Luke."

Within the span of a few minutes, her façade had crumpled and she stood before him completely vulnerable. Luke did not know any more than she what was bothering her or how to help. Or even if she wanted help anymore.

"Maybe you're just going through something right now," he suggested. "You've been under a lot of stress lately, plus Rory's about to graduate…"

"Yeah, maybe that's it," she allowed, although he could see the misgivings reflected in her eyes.

"Come on, lets go eat pizza and chicken nuggets with Jackson," he said, wrapping a protective arm around her.

"You're really going to eat with us?" she asked excitedly, her previous emotions quickly hidden once more. "Yummy pepperoni and sausage and greasy garlic and…"

"Maybe I'll just have a glass of water and watch the two of you destroy your arteries."

"Spoilsport. That's okay, I got you a salad anyway, just in case."

"Just in case?" he asked, conscious of the half-grin he wore.

She shrugged. "Yeah, well, I figured you might show up. You've got a pretty good track record with these things."

He followed her into the house, and even as he asked about Jackson's presence and feigned horror at the stockpile of junk food they had accumulated in the living room, Luke's mind preoccupied itself with worrying about Lorelai. Something was definitely off with her, and he had no any idea what it was. She had certainly been suffering from stress, from the divorce onward. And the inevitability of Rory graduating and leaving town drew ever closer. But somehow, he had a feeling that none of that truly explained Lorelai's odd behavior. No, something else caused her uneasiness and her doubt.

As they slipped beneath the covers of her bed that night, Luke made it a point to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly. No matter what happened, he would not lose her again.


	15. Always Love You

**A/N:** This story is still following season 7, only with my personal twist on it. I'm sorry this chapter took longer than I anticipated. It takes place around the events of the episode _Lorelai? Lorelai?_

**Chapter 15: Always Love You**

* * *

Lorelai's funk persisted, intermittently.

Not only did her occasional moods put Luke on edge, but she sometimes had trouble concentrating. More than once he found her staring blankly into space, apparently lost in thought. However, when he tried to get her attention, she would instantly snap out of it and refocus herself on him with so much energy it almost hurt to watch.

"So what are we going to do this weekend?" she asked brightly. "We could go mountain biking. Or hiking. Or cave diving. Hey, lets go cave diving! Although, I hear that the really big fans just call it 'caving.' 'Hey, Phil, you want to go caving this weekend?' 'Sure, Dan, that sounds great. Your cave or mine?'"

Luke looked at her in bemusement. "What is cave diving?"

"Sky diving in caves, maybe? Where would you find a cave big enough to sky dive inside of it?"

"Maybe it's _scuba_ diving in caves," he suggested. "And that sounds a little too scary for me."

"Scary? That sounds like an adventure movie."

"And most people in adventure movies look terrified out of their minds."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Not Harrison Ford! He never looks scared."

"He looked scared of those snakes in Indiana Jones," Luke pointed out.

"And what are the chances of seeing snakes when you go cave diving?"

Deciding to take a different tactic, he simply folded his arms and stared at her for a moment. While Lorelai loved to banter, sudden silences tended to throw her off a bit. But this time, she merely stared at him back, crossing her arms in front of her in an exaggerated mirror of his own stance.

"How about we rent a movie and get Chinese food?" he suggested finally.

"That is SO much better than cave diving," she agreed. Glancing at the clock, she groaned slightly. "I have to go to work."

"Have a good day."

"No, you don't understand. Sookie's cooking."

Lifting an eyebrow in confusion, he responded, "Isn't that what she's supposed to do?"

"No, she's been _pregnancy_ cooking. Yesterday she tried to feed me lemon meringue pie, triple chocolate cheesecake, and orange crush soda."

"So? Sounds like your normal fare."

"Not for _breakfast_!"

Luke smiled at her, feeling quite certain she had partaken many meals even more disgusting than the one she had just described. "Just wait and see what kind of crazy things you eat when you get pregnant," he said with a snort.

Even as the words left his lips, he could feel time slow to an almost imperceptible crawl. Everything moved in slow motion, as though if he acted very quickly, he could intercept his last statement before it reached Lorelai's ears. But he was too slow to conceive a way to retract sound waves with his bare hands, and instead had to settle for waiting to see her reaction. Would she be shocked that he had spoken with such assumption that she would get pregnant again? Would it make her happy? Angry? Nervous?

As it turned out, she simply said, "Nah, you'd actually like my pregnancy cravings. I eat fruit – apples, mostly, but also bananas, watermelon, whatever I can get my hands on. Ugh, I better get to the Inn before Sookie decides to stuff Michel with clam dressing and roast him in the oven for lunch. And I'm renting all of the Indiana Jones movies so I can prove I'm right about Harrison Ford!"

Before he could gather his thoughts enough to analyze her lack of a reaction on the pregnancy comment, she had bid him good morning and headed off to the Dragonfly.

* * *

When the phone rang later that afternoon, Luke was disappointed to hear the quiet sadness return to Lorelai's voice. "Hey, I'm not going to be able to do dinner and movies tonight," she began.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Well, I don't know if you remember when I told you Friday night that Rory didn't get that internship with Yale. But she's really taking it hard and she's having a little panic attack about getting a job… so I think we're just going to have a girl's night, if that's okay?"

Luke let out the breath he had been holding, and enthusiastically agreed that a "girl's night" was exactly what both of them probably needed. He promised to send over plenty of burgers, fries, pie, and any other comfort food he could think to make.

Almost as soon as he had hung up the phone, it rang again. This time it was the other most important female in his life.

"Hey, Dad!"

"April, hey. How's it going?"

She was hesitant at first, he could tell, but once she began to tell him about her science camp opportunity, he could tell from the excitement in her voice that was an experience he could never allow her to pass up. After a little convincing that canceling their boat trip was not a big deal, they began talking about plans for a more abbreviated trip to Star's Hollow.

"What about Lorelai? Can she go with us? What does she want to do?"

The questions caught Luke off guard, and for the first time in many months he felt that familiar stab of jealousy regarding Lorelai's parental expertise. He knew it was only natural for a teenage girl to be drawn to a strong, intelligent, funny role model like Lorelai. But at the same time, he regretted not getting his daughter and all of her attention to himself.

"Um… I'm not sure. We'll have to see what her schedule is."

"So have you got the ring yet?"

"No…"

In truth, he had not even thought about them getting married in at least a week. Lorelai's distracted behavior combined with her car problems and all the usual town craziness had put all thoughts of proposing on the back burner for the time being. And now, with a Rory crisis in the making, he knew that a wedding would be the last thing on Lorelai's mind.

"Do you even have one picked out?" April pursued. "I really liked that one with the ruby in the center and diamonds on either side…"

Having spent a great deal of time looking at engagement rings, Luke was certain of only one thing – he had no idea what kind of ring Lorelai would want. The first time he had decided to pick one out, it had been obvious. The ring practically jumped up and said, "I'm for Lorelai! Buy me, you won't regret it!" But this time, none of them seemed quite right. How was he supposed to pick any even better ring than the perfect one he had selected before?

"I don't know. I think I'll just know it when I see it," he muttered dejectedly.

"You know, you can just design her one, if you think that will work better. And if you really get stuck, there's always ebay."

"Yeah, ebay."

* * *

"You can't get her a ring from ebay," Liz insisted. "But I do like the idea of designing one for her. There are actually some really good programs on the internet where you can design the ring you want. I'd make you one for her, but I don't exactly work with diamonds and rubies, you know?"

Luke considered this possibility for a moment. He knew he needed a woman's expertise, and if nothing else, his sister did know about jewelry. "You really think you could design her one on the internet?" he asked.

"Absolutely."

She grinned at him.

"What?"

"This is so exciting! Next thing I know, Doula will have a little cousin to play with."

"One thing at a time, Liz," he grumbled.

"Are you going to get a new house or move into Lorelai's?"

"I haven't even asked her yet, and you know what? I'm not sure if I even will."

His sister gave him a thoughtful look before stating, "You will."

"Why does everyone say that?" he demanded. "Why does everyone assume that we're going to get married and everything's going to work out? It's not like either of us have a very good track record, with each other or with other people! Who's to say it will work out _this time_ when it didn't work out last time or the time before that?"

Liz laughed at his tirade, and the fact that she kept smiling at him irritated Luke.

"You want to know why it'll work this time?" she asked. "Because you are finally ready to really _be_ with Lorelai. You were never ready before."

"And how do I know that _she's_ ready?"

His sister made a noise in the back of her throat that sounded suspiciously like a snort. "Oh, she's ready."

"How do you know?"

Pausing, Liz took a moment to compose her answer. "She's proposed to you, what… two times now? Three times? Does this sound like a woman who's given up on the idea of marriage?" He remained silent as he absorbed her answer. "You want my advice, big brother? Just sweep her off her feet."

* * *

Luke was still considering Liz's words the next afternoon as he and Zach closed up the diner. The two of them had gotten pretty close over the past year, and Luke had learned to really like the younger man, even if he had talked about nothing all day except how excited he was to be touring with a popular band. Then, unfortunately, once he had learned that April would not be coming to Star's Hollow long enough for the big boat trip, he had endeavored to cheer Luke up by inviting him to karaoke (and enlisted Lane in the process).

"Dude, you've got to come!"

"You should come!" Lane added insistently. "Lorelai and Rory will be there."

Luke found himself seriously considered it. Lorelai had actually called to invite him earlier, but when he initially refused, she gave up quickly enough for him to surmise she and Rory were having another "girl's night." While he had slept over the previous evening, Lorelai came to bed so late and he got up so early that they were like proverbial ships passing in the night. She and Rory had come to the diner for breakfast, but the crowd kept him so busy he had no time to enjoy much conversation.

Being truthful with himself, Luke realized that having spent so little time with Lorelai the previous few days, he truly _missed_ her. And he missed seeing Rory, knowing that she was in town. Besides, if he got Rory alone, he thought he may be able get her opinions on a few things.

"Maybe I will come out..."

Luke had only been to K.C.'s a couple of times, and none of those evenings had involved karaoke. While he enjoyed unwinding with a cold beer at the end of the day, the idea of watching people embarrass themselves by mixing alcohol and public singing had never struck him as ideal entertainment. However, the lure of Lorelai, Rory, cold beer, and the chance to see Kirk (who would undoubtedly be there) do something really mock-worthy were too good to pass up.

He could hear the music even before he reached the door to the place. He could not be sure until he entered but… yes, sure enough, it was Kirk singing. He only caught the last few lines in the man's false baritone before the song ended.

"Luke!" he was greeted by various members of his 'town' family. Lane gestured for him to sit at their table even as Zach excitedly offered to retrieve them some drinks. Even Rory gave him an enthusiastic welcome, looking much more upbeat than he had seen her during her visit. Those at the other table shouted their own salutations, and he thought Ms. Patty may have even thrown in a cat-call.

However, Lorelai was no where in sight. He was about to ask about her when she bounded onto stage and the question died on his lips. She looked absolutely beautiful. The lights on the stage did no harm, nor did the filmy blouse and snug jeans she wore.

"Honey, here's another embarrassing moment for your diary!" she called out to Rory. Then, noticing Luke sitting at their table, she grinned in delight and gave him a small wave.

The song Lorelai chose was pretty but sad – something about leaving and always loving. She sang it for Rory, the lyrics suggesting a bittersweet goodbye, but she would occasionally turn her attention to him during the refrain and wink suggestively. "And I will always love you," she repeated over and over, looking at both him and Rory. He watched her rub at the corner of her eye, knowing just as well as everyone else present that she had wiped away a tear.

As the song came to a close, she disappeared off stage despite the cheers and shouts for an encore. But instead of returning to their table and sitting down, Luke spotted her slip out the back door. He and Rory exchanged a look of concern before he decided to go after Lorelai. Surely she was not embarrassed about the song?

He found her sitting on the back steps, staring up at the night sky. Distracted, she did not notice him until he sat down next to her. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

Lorelai nodded. In the dim light, he noticed a slight reflection on her cheek which he attributed to new tears. But her expression spoke more of fatigue than sadness.

"I liked your song," Luke continued, hoping to prod her into conversation.

She laughed, the sound ringing like music to his ears. "I'll remember that next time you complain about country music."

He never actually had complained about country music (she usually did that for him), but he smiled at her anyway. Whatever was bothering her, she would tell him eventually. As long as he stayed by her and gave her as much support as she needed, she would come around. Things would not go the way they had before, Luke vowed. He refused to shut her out or let her shut him out. In fact-

"My baby's almost grown up," Lorelai said suddenly.

Luke seized on her words. "Is that what's been bothering you?"

"Partially. I mean, it's always been Rory and me. Ever since I was sixteen, we've been a team, just the two of us. That's over half my life. And now, she's growing up, leaving." Lorelai fell silent for a moment, but Luke did not try to prompt her to continue. After a moment, she further confessed, "I wanted her to get the internship at the New York Times. But when she didn't get it… I was a little glad that she wouldn't be leaving me so soon. I know it will happen eventually, but…"

"It still sucks," he completed, understanding her feelings perfectly.

"So much has changed lately. Rory's leaving, we broke up, then got back together… twice. April, Anna, Christopher… Lane got married and had _twins_. For the longest time, nothing really changed, and now everything's different."

Luke contemplated putting an arm round her but ruled it out when he noticed her agitation. Instead, he settled for leaning against her a little, allowing his shoulder and knee to come into contact with hers. "I'm still here. Haven't changed."

She smiled again, and even in the shadows, it was still the most beautiful sight.

"You've changed. We've all changed," she contradicted good-naturedly.

"Nope. I'm still living in the same place, working at the same place. My wardrobe hasn't changed in a decade. I even still wear this old hat." As he spoke, he removed the blue ball cap and held it in his hands, fingering it carefully.

"Why do you still wear that old thing?" she teased.

"I dunno, habit maybe? Or maybe it's because someone very special gave it to me. Someone who never tried to get me to _stop_ wearing baseball caps and flannel, or to change my diner – well, except for the occasional paint job. Or to be someone other than who I am." She beamed with pleasure, but Luke continued. "Someone who brightens my day without even knowing it, who understands me better than I understand myself. Lorelai, I hope you know that I love you, that I loved you the first day we met. And that's never changed. It will never change."

This time, when he spotted the tell-tale shimmer of renewed tears on her cheeks, he knew they were born of joy.

Luke took a deep breath before speaking again. "Lorelai, I know we've had some rough times, but I can't imagine my life without you. Will you-"

"Mom, are you out here?"

They both turned to see Rory exiting K.C.'s bar, worry evident on her face.

"Mommy's fine, honey. Go back inside," Lorelai said in a rush before turning back to Luke. "What were you saying?"

"Um…" With Rory as an anxious audience, he had lost his nerve to ask her the question he had decided to ask on the spur of the moment. He still did not have a ring, nor had he planned out any big surprises. Suddenly, he found himself torn between simply getting it out in the open and wanting to make it memorable. After all, it was finally _his_ moment, his turn to show her how romantic he could be. Also, a small jealous part of him wanted to out-shine both her previous proposals and her proposal to him.

Sensing the sudden awkwardness between them, Rory mentioned how she and Lane wanted to do a tribute to The Supremes' _Stop in the Name of Love_, but needed Lorelai to complete the trio (and bring a bit of talent to their rendition). Luke seized on the opportunity and encouraged her to go back inside and have fun with her daughter. Giving her a kiss goodnight, he said softly that they would finish their conversation later. He said something he hoped was encouraging to Rory, then headed home.

Well, not straight home. He had a stop to make first.

* * *

"Hey, big brother!" Liz said in an excited whisper as she answered her door. The reason for her quiet greeting was evident in the sleeping baby she held in her arms.

"Hey, Liz. Hey, Doula," Luke said softly, giving the child a gentle pat on the head.

"Come in, come in," she insisted. "T.J.'s went out to buy more diapers. So to what do I owe this visit?"

"You know that thing we were talking about yesterday?"

"You mean the 'proposing to Lorelai' thing?"

"Yeah, that."

"You want me to design a ring, don't you?"

Luke took a moment to think of the most appropriate response to this inquiry, but finally conceded, "Well, yeah…"

"Don't worry big brother, I've already been working on it!" she squealed in delight. "Come look at the designs I found online."

Placing the sleeping Doula in her carrier seat, Liz crossed the room to the computer. She spent the better part of an hour showing him various cuts, carats, and bands before he settled on one that seemed to suit Lorelai.

"She's going to love it," his sister assured him.

"Can we get it engraved?"

"Of course! This is special order. For enough money, we can get it baked into a raspberry éclair."

Picturing the inevitable consequences of giving Lorelai jewelry hidden within pastry, Luke quickly shook his head. "Just engraving."

"What do you want it to say?"

Luke told her the words he wanted to use and watched over her shoulder as she typed them into the online order form. "Aww…." she sighed. "That's so sweet."

Taking a deep breath as she hit the order button (and thus placing a large deposit on his credit card) he asked, "How soon can it be here?"

"Four to six weeks."

"That's too long!"

"Don't worry, big brother. I'm sure that's just what they say to cover themselves if there's problems. Shipping never takes that long. And you do want Lorelai to have the perfect ring, don't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"Besides, you don't need the ring to propose." She quickly held up a hand to stop further argument from him on this point. "Just listen to me a second. I have a plan if you want to propose before you get the ring…"

* * *

By the time Luke arrived at Lorelai's house that evening, it was late enough to expect her and Rory back from K.C.'s. And sure enough, by the time he parked his truck in the driveway and was approaching the front door, he spotted the mother-daughter duo walking up the sidewalk. Actually, _stumbling_ was a better description for their uneven strides, often taken in different directions as they giggled loudly at their own antics. While he was glad that they had chosen not to driving home in their current condition, he did feel badly that they had not chosen to call him for a ride.

"Hey, Luke!" Lorelai called, not sounding particularly intoxicated. "We walked 'cause Rory wanted to go by Star's Hollow High, and Doose's, and Luke's, and the lake, and a few other places with personal exes worth reminiscing over."

"Mom! Not 'exes.' _Successes_." Rory protested. Based on the slightly slurred speech, she certainly was in no condition to drive.

"Fine, _sexes_," Lorelai attempted.

Well, maybe she _wasn't_ that sober…

"We didn't have to go by Doose's, it was just on the way from Luke's to here," Rory explained, as though that particular detail of their walk home had caused the expression of utter bemusement on his face.

"I still say your first kiss and first shoplifting experience count as a personal success," Lorelai stated.

Luke raised a doubtful eyebrow at Rory. "You shoplifted?"

"Dean kissed me, and I panicked," she answered drowsily.

"I think it's time you two got to bed," he said, leading the weaving pair into the house. "You're certainly going to be hurting in the morning."

"Mom didn't even drink anything!" Rory protested before heading off to her room. When he heard the door click shut, Luke turned to Lorelai in puzzlement.

But before he could pose his question, she had already claimed his lips in a passionate kiss. After a moment, she pulled away just long enough to whisper seductively, "I think its time for you to put me to bed."

Remembering a line from some movie she had made him watch a few days before, he said, "As you wish," before picking her up and carrying her up the stairs.


	16. Cravings

A/N: First of all, I just want to say, I am very sorry it took so long to finish this story. I never intended to abandon it for so long, but between a severe case of writer's block and the demands of RL, it kind of slipped to the backburner for a while. Thank you to those who have left reviews and gentle reminders that you'd like to see it completed. I am now posting the remaining chapters.

Story note – these last chapters loosely follow the end of season 7, at least the way _I_ would have rather seen it end.

**Chapter 16****: Cravings**

"Mmmm…"

Lorelai stretched languidly as the morning sun stole through her bedroom curtains. She felt her back pop with embarrassing loudness, reminding her that she was not as young as she used to be. But as she remembered the previous night's bedroom escapades, she smiled to herself, secure in the knowledge that despite being the mother of a college graduate, she could still do _some_ things extremely well. Luke certainly thought so…

Glancing around, she was momentarily confused by his empty side of the bed. But after listening for a moment, she heard the tell-tale sound of pots and pans banging in the kitchen downstairs. Hoping he would not wake Rory, Lorelai pulled on enough clothing to look decent in front of her daughter and then stumbled down the stairs to see if he had also thought to make her coffee.

"I know I can get a job somewhere else. I just really wanted that fellowship…"

"Well, they don't know what they're missing," she heard Luke say earnestly. She paused just out of eyesight to listen a moment.

"Yeah, right."

"You just wait. There are all kinds of opportunities out there for someone smart and creative like you. Years from now, when you get the Pulitzer Prize for uncovering some big government conspiracy or bringing the plight of some endangered animal to the public, they're going to regret not having hired you when they had the chance."

"Thanks, Luke."

Lorelai entered the kitchen with an exaggerated zombie impression and grumbled, "Coffee."

While she saw a brief expression of surprise pass across Luke's face, it disappeared quickly and he covered by pouring her a cup of the precious brown liquid. Plopping down at the kitchen table next to Rory, she had a sudden flash of the picture they made: mother, father, and grown daughter, talking over breakfast. Shaking off the chills that ran up her back, Lorelai asked her daughter how she felt.

"Not bad, actually. Luke makes excellent hangover food." She glanced at Luke, who was in the process of making eggs and sausage at their stove. "I think after breakfast I may swing by and see Lane, then head back to school."

"Are you sure? I had a whole other day of pick-me-up plans." She reached across the table to a bowl of fruit (ever since Luke had started spending so much time at the house again, the kitchen was always well stocked) and carefully selected a Red Delicious apple.

"No, I'm good. I don't know if it was the wallowing, or the eating, or the shopping, or the singing… but it cheered me up."

"Good."

The three of them ate breakfast together with Lorelai and Luke taking extra care to make sure Rory actually did feel cheered up enough to go back. The girls filled Luke in on what he had missed at karaoke after leaving and tried to convince him that the next time they went, he should sing _Burning Love_ classic Elvis-style.

But once they had finished eating and Rory had gotten on the road, Lorelai pulled him into the living room with her to sit on the couch with Paul Anka at their feet. "You think she's really going to be okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, she'll be fine."

"I guess you two had a talk this morning." It was a leading statement, specifically designed to fish for information. But he refused to bite.

Shrugging, Luke answered, "I was up early banging around in the kitchen. I probably woke her up but she was a good sport about it, came out and talked to me while I made breakfast."

"Chat about anything interesting?" she tried again.

"You know, job stuff. I tried to tell her that you never know what you're going to end up doing in life, but since I work at a diner and she wants to be that Christine Aman-girl, I'm not sure how much encouragement I gave her."

Lorelai paused, trying to figure out the name, then said, "Christiane Amanpour, and I'm sure you were very encouraging. You two talk about anything else?"

"Oh, she told me about the graduation party her grandparents are throwing. Sounds like a big deal."

Wincing slightly, Lorelai asked, "So she invited you?" She had specifically failed to mention the party so she would not have to have this particular conversation. But as it turned out, there was no escaping the inevitable.

"Yeah," he acknowledged. "But I told her I was probably going to be too busy." She understood his answer as code for 'Because you never mentioned the party, I figured you didn't want me to come.'

Deciding to just bite the bullet, she explained, "Christopher's going to be there. My parents invited him."

Suddenly understanding, Luke nodded. They had not talked about him much since their reconciliation, preferring instead to put the whole thing behind them. But the mention of her ex's name still had the same old effect, filling him with intense jealousy and anger. Whenever the man showed up, pain and destruction seemed to follow.

"I was going to ask you to the party, but I wasn't sure if you'd want to come," she added.

Skeptical of her motive, he asked rhetorically, "So you were just going to go and not mention it to me?"

"I was going to mention it," she insisted. "I just hadn't… worked up the nerve yet."

Luke sighed. It was the same old problem cropping up again. Lack of communication. They had to get past this, and the only way to do it was the break the cycle of distrust and misunderstanding. "Well, I'd like to go," he stated matter-of-factly.

Lorelai's eyes shot up. "Really?"

"If you want me to."

"Of course I want you to go," she admitted. "Rory'll be off hanging out with Logan, and I'll be all by myself with no one to mock people with."

"Well, that's what I'm here for." There was that gleam in his eyes, the one she had seen the previous evening when she felt certain he was going to propose.

"Good. So it's settled. You and Rory discuss anything else?"

She carefully examined his features for a hint of nervousness, hesitation, or some other emotion that would confirm what she had suspected the night before. However, either her subtlety had been lost on him completely or he had an excellent poker face because he betrayed no sign of anything unusual as he answered, "Not really." Glancing at his watch, he sighed. "Guess I better get going before Caesar and Zack re-write my whole menu."

"Awww… I thought maybe you'd hang out with me this morning since Rory left. I could make it worth your while…" she purred.

"I need to go to work, Lorelai," he mock scolded.

Giving an exaggerated sigh, she said, "Okay, fine. But next time you have to do at least one Elvis song."

She knew she had hit a nerve when he turned back to her and began, "Do you really want to know what I think about the entire karaoke idea, with people imitating singers who weren't all that good in their own time? I think the whole thing is to make people get really drunk – cause you'd really have to be drunk to sing in front of a whole room full of people - and act stupid in front of people they don't know and a few people they do. Except in this town, everyone knows everyone, so you're getting drunk and acting foolish in front of everyone you know. And it's always the people who don't mind looking like idiots who talk you into it in the first place! It's a-"

Lorelai smiled at him, completely infatuated with the Luke-rant. "Go to work," she said.

"I wasn't finished!"

She cocked her head to the side. "What were you saying about Caesar and the new menu items?"

His shoulders falling in resignation, Luke stated, "I'm going to work."

"See you later?" Lorelai called as he headed for the door.

He turned around and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Definitely."

She watched as he headed out the door and listened for the familiar sound of his old truck engine turning on. Settling on the couch to watch a little bad morning television before getting dressed, she allowed herself some time unfettered by worry, stress, or anxiety. With everything that had been happening lately, she was glad to have a few moments of mental and physical relaxation.

That is, she had a few moments of relaxation until someone knocked on the front door.

"If it's anyone other than girl scouts selling cookies, so help me…" she muttered as she got up to answer it.

* * * * *

The phone at the diner rang, the sound barely audible over the early afternoon rush. Somehow Luke knew even before he answered it that it would be Lorelai. She had an uncanny knack for calling at the most inopportune moments. He was not disappointed.

Lorelai said quickly, almost panicked, "She's getting married!"

"What? Who's getting married?" Luke demanded.

"Logan just came by to ask my permission to ask Rory to marry him," she explained quickly.

"So he hasn't asked her yet?"

"No. He just got back into town from a job interview in California. California! What if they move to California? That's on the other side of the country, Luke. It's on the other side of the continent!"

"But he hasn't even asked her, right? So she might not say yes. She might not want to move to California," he pointed out, trying to calm himself as well as her.

"But what if she does say yes? Luke, she's so _young_. She has her whole life ahead of her."

"Whatever she decides, it'll be fine," he forced himself to say, although the thought of Logan dragging Rory off to live in a state wracked by wildfires, mudslides, and earthquakes made him want to step into the role of gun-toting protective father-figure and talk some sense into the boy. "Rory's a smart girl, she knows what will make her happy. And that's the most important thing, right? That she's happy?"

"Of course!"

"Well then, just wait and see what she says when he proposes. Besides, it might work out better than you think. Some people get it together young."

"And some people need more time," she said quietly, a touch of sadness in her voice.

Luke could not tell whether the shift in emotions was due to Rory's suddenly volatile marital status or something else. He still needed more time to get things into place, to work out the details...

"Hey, tell you what. Why don't you come over tonight and I'll make you dinner. You can even pick out a couple of movies for us to watch."

She became more animated about the idea of a movie night, but it seemed forced. Luke let it slide without comment. He recognized her carefully veiled sadness over losing Rory – first to graduation and the impending job hunt likely to take her far from Star's Hollow, and now to an ex-millionaire kid barely out of college who could be whisking her even further away. Rory was grown up now, no longer the vivacious child Lorelai had both raised and grown up with. He had heard about the phenomenon before – empty nest syndrome or some such. But it was more than that. She was not just losing her daughter; she was losing her best friend. He only hoped that Lorelai would not lose a piece of herself as well.

Thinking about Rory's graduation party likely was not helping matters. Luke knew she had seen Christopher since the divorce – he had gone by the house to pick up some things. And while he tried to square his anger with overwhelming jealousy, Luke's mind just kept coming back to the fact that Chris had stolen something truly precious – a full year with Lorelai and almost their entire future. Not to mention the fact that the fallout caused residual heartache any time the man's name was mentioned.

Squaring his shoulders, Luke decided to take a pragmatic approach. Christopher would just have to be dealt with. He was Rory's father and would always be a part of her life. By extension, Lorelai would have to deal with him. And if Luke was going to be part of Lorelai's life, if he really wanted to marry her, he would have to deal with Christopher as well.

Besides, he thought to himself smugly, in the end, he had won. Lorelai loved _him_.

* * * * *

As it turned out, the party proved as troublesome as Lorelai suspected it would, although for completely different reasons.

"I can't believe how young you look," one of her mother's random D.A.R. friends gushed. "What skin care product do you use?"

"Um… soap," she answered, glancing at the man standing next to her. She knew Luke was on edge, not just because of Christopher's presence but also due to his knowledge of Logan's intention of proposing to Rory. It had been a tense moment when he accompanied her outside to give Christopher a head's up, but nothing had happened. The two men just ignored each other, both choosing instead to communicate only with Lorelai.

"What kind?" the woman persisted.

"I buy it at the drugstore," Lorelai answered, distracted. Dissatisfied with her reply, the woman walked off. Turning to Luke, Lorelai asked privately, "Is this okay? Are you okay?"

"Everything's fine," he assured her. "I'm fine. You're fine. Rory's fine."

"Of course I'm fine," she stated. "Why would you think I wasn't fine?"

"Because you've been acting nervous since we got here."

She started to argue with him but found that she couldn't. He knew her too well. Between the possible ticking time bombs of Christopher, Luke, and Logan, she was not sure what to worry about more. Thankfully, Luke had been completely calm and together about the party ever since he told her he would go. If he had any misgivings about seeing her ex-husband, he had kept them to himself.

"Why don't I get you a drink?" he suggested.

"That sounds great," Lorelai said.

"Martini?"

"Just ginger ale," she answered. "Maybe it'll help settle my nerves."

Luke raised an eyebrow but made no comment before disappearing into the crowd.

Almost as soon as he left, Christopher appeared beside her. Without ceremony, he commented, "So, you and Luke, huh?"

"I told you we got back together."

"Yeah, well, I guess I didn't really believe it."

She gave him a pointed look. "Well, believe it."

Instead of arguing with her, he gave a small smile. "I just want you to be happy, Lorelai. If he makes you happy..."

"He does."

"Then I'm happy for you." Christopher nodded towards Logan and Rory, talking together across the room. "Them, I'm not so sure. She's so young."

"So were we," Lorelai pointed out.

"Exactly."

It was an acknowledgment of sorts, an easy explanation for why they had never worked out. While Lorelai had always known their youth had stood in the way of a lasting relationship, the divorce had forced her to confront the other more truthful reason for their not working out. She just did not love him, not the way she was supposed to love him. Christopher was the father of her child and her first love, but he was not the man fate intended her to be with. Truthfully, while he had been her 'first,' he really wasn't her first love at all. She always thought he had been, up until a ranting man had kissed her on the porch of her inn and showed her an 8-year-old newspaper horoscope, demonstrating what real love felt like.

Saying a quick goodbye to Christopher, she went in search of that man, suddenly needing his comforting presence. They found each other just as her parents began to sing a ridiculous song to Rory.

"What is it with your family and public singing?" Luke asked.

Teasingly, she said, "You like my singing."

"Yeah, well the talent must skip a generation."

They fell into a light, friendly banter until the other man Lorelai had been worrying about did the unthinkable – in front of her parents, grandparents, and a hundred other guests, Logan proposed to Rory. He surprised Rory with the proposal as much as he had surprised Lorelai with his intentions, bringing the party to an awkward pause. As the young couple went outside to discuss the matter, Emily worked frantically at recovering the serene dignity of her party.

"Geez, that didn't go so well," Luke commented, feeling embarrassment for both Rory and Logan. As a man contemplating the same act himself, he sympathized with Logan when Rory did not immediately say yes. As a father figure to Rory, he wanted to beat the kid senseless for asking in such a public manner.

"No kidding," Lorelai agreed. Her cell phone began to buzz. "Hey, hon," she answered. Glancing at Luke, she said, "It's Rory. I need to go. Wait for me?"

"No problem."

* * * * *

The horse-drawn carriage was a nice touch, Lorelai decided. And it was proof that Logan's proposal was not a spur of the moment thing. He had planned it all out. Of course, most of his plans hinged on the spurious conclusion of Rory's immediate acceptance. Lorelai shook her head at his boldness. The man had lived with Rory long enough to know she needed time to make these sorts of decisions. There were discussions to be had, pro-con lists to make…

Rory echoed her own thoughts as she fretted over what decision to make. Upon convincing her to think about the proposal for a few days, Lorelai tried to change the subject. But Rory beat her to it.

"What would you say if Luke proposed to you?" her daughter asked.

Despite suspecting that he intended to do just that, Lorelai found herself without an answer. "I don't know. I'd say yes, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, it's a big decision."

"It didn't take you very long to decide when Dad asked you."

"And look how well that turned out," Lorelai said. "I don't know, I just… I want to marry him. That's what I've always wanted. But what with everything that happened before…"

"Once burned and twice shy?" Rory suggested.

"Something like that. Plus there's…" She quickly stopped herself.

Instantly noticing her slip, Rory demanded, "Plus there's – what?"

"Nothing."

"Mom!"

"Okay, okay. I kind of suspect… Okay, you remember a couple of years ago when I started craving apples and I thought I was pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"I'm craving apples again."

"Before it was just a false alarm," Rory pointed out.

Lorelai added, "I've been craving them for kind of a while now."

"How long?"

"A week, maybe."

Shocked, Rory challenged, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Her lips curving into a defensive pout, Lorelai said, "You've been busy. And I'm not sure, it's just a feeling."

"Well we need to find out!"

"Now?"

"Yes, _now_. Excuse me, driver!" Rory called. "Is there a drug store around here?"

* * * * *

Back at the party, Luke found himself corned by several D.A.R. ladies. While nodding along to their inane babble, he controlled his quickly unraveling temper by imagining the more unpleasant experiences he could be subjected to. While being attacked by alligators and working at a job that required him to always wear a suit and tie immediately came to mind, he had trouble coming up with other scenarios. Looking around for an escape, he spotted a third situation even worse than the D.A.R. women – Christopher was approaching him.

Luke noted with relief that there was no drink in the man's hand and he appeared fairly sober. He himself had forgone his usual beer when Lorelai turned down the offer of an alcoholic beverage. With both of them sober, perhaps whatever confrontation Chris was about to start would not end in another fist fight.

"Luke," Lorelai's ex-husband said by way of greeting. Perhaps sensing the two men's obvious distain for each other, the D.A.R. ladies went in search of someone else to pester.

"Christopher," Luke responded, matching the other man's neutral tone.

"You better treat her right," he said without preamble.

"I intend to."

Nodding at his answer, Chris put his hands in his pockets. If they had been wild animals, Luke would have understood it as a gesture of submission, a rival signaling his intent to back away from a fight. Or maybe it was just that Chris knew Luke would be in Lorelai's life, and by extension Rory's life. If Rory accepted Logan's proposal, there would be a wedding to attend. Eventually there would be kids and the inevitable family get-togethers they inspired - Christmases, birthdays, and a thousand other reasons for Emily Gilmore to throw a party. This would not be the last time they would have to be in the same room together, and it was something they both had to come to terms with sooner or later.

"You know," Christopher said abruptly, "You were always her first choice. She only married me because she couldn't have you."

Luke merely grunted in response.

"Take care of her."

"I intend to."


	17. Just Jump

**Chapter 17: Just Jump**

Rory's graduation came and went with all the pomp and circumstance it deserved. The only down side came when she turned down Logan's proposal and their relationship abruptly ended. Lorelai was secretly glad her daughter said no.

All the same reasons that Lorelai refused to get married at sixteen applied to Rory at twenty-two. She was too young. She needed to experience life a little more before making such a huge decision. Of course, beyond the obvious desire to see her daughter achieve great things, a small, selfish part of Lorelai hated the idea of seeing Rory married before her. (Her failed marriage to Christopher didn't count) It was something she would never have admitted to anyone – including Luke – but she had always assumed she would find the right guy and settle down in time to give Rory a true father-figure to grow up with. And now that her daughter was striking out into the world, bright-eyed and full of prospects, Lorelai was still struggling with her own romantic aspirations.

Of course, she and Luke were together. They were pretty solid, despite a few hiccups here and there. And while she kept getting these strong feelings that Luke wanted to take things to the next level, she also sensed that maybe he wasn't quite ready. Of course, maybe she wasn't ready either.

Who was she kidding? She was ready. She was beyond ready. She had been ready to marry Luke since the day he stood across from her in the diner, ranting about getting Rory back into Yale and in the process demonstrating exactly how much he cared about her daughter. They could have gotten engaged and eloped on that same night and she would have been the happiest woman in the world. They could have gotten married on June 3rd, but she allowed him to push it off. They could have gotten married the night she entered the diner begging him to elope, but…

But there were too many 'what if's' and 'could have been's'. She had the present to focus on, including a daughter who she would have an entire month to spend time with over the summer. And while they planned their summer of roller coaster rides, she avoided thinking about one particular conversation she needed to have with Luke very soon.

* * * * *

"I can't believe I just met Christiane Amanpour in my pajamas," Rory said.

Lorelai smiled. "Well, I'm sure you made an impression."

"I've wanted to meet her for my entire life."

"You've wanted to BE her for your entire life."

"I idolized her. On my first day at Chilton when Headmaster Charleston asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to be her. I never in a million years thought I'd get to meet her, and now I have. In my pajamas."

"Think of the story it'll make!" Rory shot her an irritated look. "In a few years."

Wanting to change the subject, Rory said with a knowing grin, "So how are you feeling?"

"Fine. Totally fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"Have you told him yet?" her daughter prodded.

"Told who what?"

"Have you told Luke that the rabbit died?"

Looking around to make sure no one had overheard them, Lorelai whispered severely, "Hey, keep your voice down. You know how rumors get started in this town."

"It's not a rumor if it's true," Rory persisted. "So you haven't told him?"

"No, I haven't told him."

"It's been two days. What are you waiting for?"

Looking guilty, Lorelai shrugged one shoulder. "I was hoping a rumor would get started and I wouldn't have to tell him. He could find out from East Side Tilly."

"Mom!" Rory scolded.

"I'm going to tell him. I just haven't figured out what to say."

"Well here's a thought – just come right out and say it. How did you tell dad?"

"I just showed him the stick. It was self explanatory!" Lorelai defended herself.

"Well, you have to talk to him soon. Because if you don't tell him soon, he's going to wonder why you waited so long to tell him."

"I know, Rory. I just need a little time, okay?"

"Okay."

Lorelai nodded, feeling calmer. She would figure out a way to inform Luke that he was going to be a father again. She just needed a little time.

"You have forty-eight hours, or I'm telling him," Rory stated matter-of-factly.

* * * * *

"There's your Uncle Luke. Say 'hi, Uncle Luke,'" Liz cooed as she wheeled baby Doula into the diner.

Luke grinned, leaning over the counter to catch sight of his niece. "Hi, Doula," he said, waving at the child. A little voice in the back of his head reminded him that there was a time when he would have considered such a gesture to an infant ridiculous. But having held that same infant in his arms and seen how sweetly she slept, he no longer cared. She was his niece, his blood, and he was always delighted to see her.

"I have some bad news," Liz warned.

"TJ burned down the house," he guessed.

"No. I just talked to the people at the place where we ordered-" she glanced around, then lowered her voice, "_the ring_, and they said it's going to take two months for them to ship it."

"Two months?! You said four to six weeks at the most, and that was an over-estimate."

Liz held out a hand in an attempt to calm her brother down. "Luke, I tried to get them to rush the order but their engraving machine is down because it needs a new part, and-"

He interrupted, "Well, can't we have someone else make the ring?"

"You already paid this company. It'll get here Luke, just have a little patience. Besides, if you want to ask her, go ahead and ask her. You don't have to have the ring."

"I know," Luke acknowledged grudgingly. "I just keep thinking, 'now's the moment, ask her now.' And then something happens and we get interrupted or I have second thoughts-"

Liz stopped him mid-sentence to demand, "You have _second thoughts_? Are you kidding me, Luke? You've been in love with Lorelai forever. I could tell when I came back to Star's Hollow with TJ that you had a thing for her. And now, after all this, you're having 'second thoughts'?"

"Not second thoughts about marrying her," he explained. "Second thoughts about how to propose. I mean, this is Lorelai. She likes big productions. She's seen every movie ever made. She likes romance and romantic… stuff." Sighing, he concluded, "I just want it to be special for her. After everything that happened before, I want this to be what she remembers."

Smiling at her older brother's concerns, Liz said gently, "Luke, you're asking her to marry you. It's going to be special for her, no matter how you do it."

"I guess..."

"Just think of something really memorable, something that will sweep her off her feet."

"Sweep her off her feet, huh?"

"Be spontaneous. Like TJ." She laughed. "He can be so romantic sometimes. One day, he met me at the door wearing nothing but plastic wrap."

Luke winced at the mental image. "Please, don't finish that story," he begged.

Rolling her eyes, Liz merely added, "All I'm gonna say is that's the night Doula was conceived."

* * * * *

When Luke's phone rang late that evening, he knew it could only be one person. Thankfully, he was not expected at every Friday Night Dinner, just once or twice a month. He suspected that Emily Gilmore granted that special dispensation in greater part because she preferred her daughter and granddaughter's company than the fact that he needed sleep for mornings when he took early deliveries. But Lorelai had gone, and she promised to call her when she got home.

"Hello?" he answered, his voice extra deep from grogginess.

"_Rory got a job!" _Lorelai squealed in excitement. It was the happiest he had heard her all week.

"That's great," Luke said, genuinely happy for the girl. While he had always known Rory would have no problem finding a great job, he also knew she was worried about her future. He himself had gone through a similar crisis when his father passed away.

Lorelai continued, her voice gaining a hint of panic, _"She's leaving in three days."_

"Wow, that's fast. What's the job?"

"_She's going to be writing for an online magazine, and – get this – she'll be on the campaign trail following Barack Obama."_

"Really? Wow, that's great. Tell Rory that's great."

Over the phone, he heard her pass along the message to her daughter. _"Luke says that's really great and he's so proud."_

"I am," he affirmed. "I'm very proud of her. She's going to do great. The presidential campaign – that's… that's really something."

Lorelai giggled as she told Rory, _"Now he's just gushing."_

"Lorelai…" he growled.

Ignoring him, she said, _"We just got home from dinner. We're going over everything Rory needs to get to be ready to hit the campaign trail."_

"Well, call me if you two need any help," Luke instructed.

"_Absolutely, we'll call you."_ Lorelai's voice changed slightly as she asked more quietly, _"So, you're sleeping at the diner tonight?"_

"Yeah, early deliveries," he answered automatically.

She did not even bother to hide her disappointment as she conceded, _"Okay."_

"I'll see you tomorrow," Luke assured her.

"_Sure. Tomorrow. Goodnight,"_ Lorelai said softly.

Hanging up the phone, he laid his head back on the pillow, exhausted from the long day. But as Luke attempted to fall asleep, he realized something. He was alone. He had not slept alone in a long time - not since he and Lorelai had gotten back together.

Despite his fatigue, the emptiness of the bed bothered him. He had slept alone almost his entire life, his few romantic relationships excluded. It wasn't until he and Lorelai started dating that he even bought a bed big enough to hold two people. While definitely an adjustment, he had quickly discovered that he really enjoyed sharing that space and that level of intimacy. After all, people were at their most vulnerable when they slept. Suddenly, he thought of Lorelai in her own bed that night without him, vulnerable and alone. The woman rarely locked her door, he knew, and with Rory in the house…

Without further consideration, threw back the covers and pushed his legs over the edge of the mattress. "This is insane," he muttered to himself. "We really need to just get married." Grabbing a flannel to wear over his t-shirt, he slipped on a pair of shoes and headed out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, he found himself trudging up the stairs to what he had begun to once again consider 'their' bedroom. Surprisingly, it looked as though Lorelai and Rory had turned out the lights and gone to bed shortly after talking him. However, once he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed a light on in the bedroom. Lorelai was under the covers, but sitting up idly flipping through a magazine.

"Hey," she greeted him with a tired but pleased smile.

"Can't sleep?" Luke asked, pushing the door closed behind him. He crossed the room to his side of the bed, slipped off his shoes and flannel, and crawled in beside her.

Putting the magazine to the side, Lorelai flipped off the light and pushed herself down under the covers beside him.

"I can now," she answered happily as she wrapped one arm across his chest.

He reached up and squeezed her hand in reply as they both fell asleep.

* * * * *

"Time's up," Rory pronounced as they walked outside of Westin's.

"For what?" her mother asked.

"Today's the day. If you don't tell Luke today, then I will."

Stopping abruptly, Lorelai gasped indignantly. "I've been helping you get ready to go! I haven't had time to tell anyone anything! I need more time."

Rory shook her head. "No extensions and no excuses," she declared.

Staring at her daughter for a moment, Lorelai stated with deliberate caution, "You don't have the guts to tell him."

By way of answer, Rory reached into her purse to pull out her cell phone. A few quick key strokes, and Lorelai heard ringing. Then a deep voice answered the phone.

"Hello, Luke?" she said sweetly.

Glaring at her, Lorelai hissed, "Fine, I'll tell him today."

Rory smiled in triumph, saying into the cell phone, "My mom and I are headed to the diner. We're kind of in a hurry, so I was wondering if you could make us some burgers with fries? Thanks Luke, you're the best."

Hanging up the phone, she smiled smugly at her mother before dropping it back into her purse.

"You're evil," Lorelai pouted.

"I'm just out for the truth," Rory intoned.

"I want my World's Greatest Reporter hat back."

By the time they reached the diner, Lorelai was too nervous to eat. Having been issued an ultimatum by her own daughter, she knew she had to talk to Luke but she still had no idea what to say. While Rory wolfed her food down quickly, Lorelai merely picked at her own meal. Perhaps if she drug it out long enough…

"I'll meet you back at the house," Rory declared, having finished her burger. "The next time I see you, Luke better be handing out cigars."

"I'm telling Barack how mean you are," she threw back. But Rory was already on her way out the door.

She only needed a few minutes to get herself together, then she would talk to Luke…

"You not feeling okay?" his familiar voice floated over her shoulder.

Startled, she jumped a little. "Um, no. I mean, yes, I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"You haven't touched your burger," he said, nodding to her plate. "And even though you've been in here ten minutes, you haven't asked for a single cup of coffee."

Time to bite the bullet. Lorelai suddenly wished she had saved that pregnancy test so she could simply show Luke without having to say the words. While she knew without a doubt that he was not only a good father but a responsible man, a part of her genuinely worried about his reaction. They had only just gotten back together, after all. Their long tortured path up to this point had so many forks and bends, she was surprised to realize that after over 22 years, she had come full circle in life. She was back to telling a guy she was knocked up.

"Luke, can we talk outside?" she asked, careful to keep her tone casual.

"Sure! Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about, too."

He followed her out of the diner, and while she would have been comfortable with a private corner, he insisted on them walking all the way out to the gazebo. Once they arrived they turned to each other with serious expressions.

"I have something important to tell you," she attempted.

"No, let me go first," Luke insisted.

She shook her head. "This is really important."

"So is this."

Neither was willing to give, so they spoke simultaneously, their words overlapping and intermingling.

"Luke, I'm pregnant."

"Lorelai, will you marry me?"

Each paused, then stared at the other in surprise for a long moment as the other's meaning quickly sank in.

"What?" Luke finally managed in a shocked voice, just as Lorelai stammered out, "Yes."

"Yes?" he asked, immediately jumping on the word. "Yes you're pregnant or yes you'll marry me?"

The edges of her mouth quirked up into a shy smile. "Yes," she repeated with conviction.

"Oh. Wow." He stood looking at her for several seconds as the two life-changing events settled in and took up residency in his mind. Lorelai said yes. She was going to marry him. And she was pregnant. She was going to have his child.

As his silence stretched on too long, he noticed Lorelai's smile begin to fall and doubt creep into her eyes. Automatically, he leaned forward and kissed her in reassurance. His heart leapt at her enthusiastic response, and he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

When the kiss ended, it was Lorelai's turn to declare, "Wow."

She noticed him glance curiously at her stomach, then back up at her. "You're pregnant," he stated, sounding much calmer about the fact than she expected.

"I'm pregnant."

"Is that why you've been so out of it lately?"

Lorelai shrugged. "Maybe," she acknowledged. Curious about his sudden lack of surprise at this turn of events, she studied his face more closely. "You knew!"

This time, it was Luke's turn to shrug. "I didn't _know_. I may have suspected… a little."

"_I_ didn't even know until a few days ago. How did you know?"

"Little things. Mood swings, no alcohol, reduced coffee intake, eating fresh fruit. I figured you'd either converted to a new religion or you were pregnant."

"And this is all… okay with you?" she asked, still a little hesitant.

Taken aback by the question, Luke stared at her for a second. "Lorelai, you just agreed to marry me and told me we're going to have a kid. What part of that did you think I wouldn't be okay with?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to make sure this is what you want."

He took a step forward, but rather than kiss her again, he simply looked her square in the eyes. She could feel his gaze travel across her face before landing upon an errant wave of hair at the edge of her vision. Slowly and deliberately, he reached up to touch the curl, letting the strands thread through his fingers before gently tucking it behind her ear.

"I want you," Luke said, his voice low and deep.

She waited for him to continue, but that was all he said. It took her a moment to realize the full meaning of his words. He wanted _her_. Kids or no kids, whatever circumstances they might find themselves in, he wanted her.

Lorelai grinned at him, feeling somewhere between elated and scared to death. "So we're really… we're doing this. All of this. The whole package."

He beamed back at her with equal excitement. "We're really doing this."

Luke's mind raced in a thousand different directions at once. There was so much to do. They needed to prepare for the baby. And the wedding! Lorelai had nearly driven herself crazy getting ready for the last wedding – well, _their_ last wedding, the June 3rd event that had never occurred. Luke was not sure they could both survive planning another wedding. It seemed too much like a replay of their failures rather than the second chance that it was.

Suddenly, he heard the voice of Mia's husband Howard echoing in his mind. _"T__ake my advice. Get 'em to say yes and then marry them as fast as you can get them down that aisle before they change their minds."_

They could elope. She had mentioned that possibility before, and even he had come to the not-soon-enough realization that eloping was a perfectly reasonable option. But he also knew that no matter what she said, she wanted everyone to be there. Star's Hollow was not just her home – it was her entire extended family. Not to mention that Rory needed to be involved. And with her daughter leaving tomorrow to embark on a new career, it would have to happen quickly. Besides, Lorelai had eloped with Christopher to Paris, and the last thing Luke wanted was to be anything like her ex-husband.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to him.

"Let's get married," he said very seriously.

Lorelai smiled at him with the sort of patience normally reserved for a small child. "I thought we already decided that."

"No, I mean let's get married… right now."

Several emotions crossed her features – sadness, regret, relief – before she answered with less enthusiasm. "Yeah, sure. Let's go to Maryland or Atlantic City-"

"No, _here_," he insisted.

"Here?"

"Yes, here. Now. No more waiting. Let's get married right now."

Lorelai gave him a pleasantly confused look that mixed her happiness at his enthusiasm with her inability to comprehend what he had planned. "But… there's no one here. I'm no great expert, but don't we need a justice and the peace and a couple of witnesses?"

"Just… go back to the house, get Rory, and meet me back here at the gazebo in twenty minutes."

Still skeptical, she asked, "Are you serious?"

Placing his hands on her arms, he leaned in to kiss her once more. "Lorelai, I am very serious," he declared.

"Okay…" She said, her pleasant delight at his proposal turning to girlish excitement at the prospect of actually marrying him. "I'll be back in twenty minutes."

As she climbed into her car and head in the direction of her house, Luke wasted no time in crossing the square to Miss Patty's studio. As usual, she was standing in the doorway, instructing her young students while blowing smoke outside. She watched him approach with an appreciative eye.

"Luke, good to see you," she purred.

"Patty, I need a favor."


	18. Standing Still

**Chapter 18: Standing Still**

"Rory!" Lorelai shouted even before the door slammed shut behind her. "Rory, where are you?! Your car's out front, and you'd better be here!"

Lorelai rounded the corner in time to see her daughter emerging from her room wearing an expression of concern.

"I'm here! What's going on? Did you tell him?" Rory asked.

In response, Lorelai grabbed her hand and drug her towards the stairs. "Luke and I are getting married. I need help picking out a dress."

Rory stopped dead in her tracks, bringing her mother up short. "What?" she demanded.

"Well I'm not wearing this!"

Shaking her head, Rory asked in confusion, "You're getting married?"

"Yes!" Lorelai beamed.

Confusion turned to bewilderment. "Right _now_?"

"Yes, right now! Luke just asked me. He sent me to get you and said to meet him back at the gazebo in twenty minutes. So I really need to find something cute to wear…"

She climbed the stairs two at a time in her haste to reach her closet and begin rifling through it. Rory followed her, still baffled by this sudden turn of events.

"Is this because of the baby?" she asked.

"No." Lorelai paused in her quest to find an appropriate dress. "At least, I don't think so..."

"Mom, did you even tell Luke about the baby?"

"_Yes_, I told Luke about the baby."

"And what did he say?"

She thought for a moment. "'Wow'."

"Wow?" Rory repeated.

"That's what he said - wow."

"Anything else?"

"Then he said, 'Let's get married.'" Lorelai reported, pulling out a dress, then discarding it on the bed.

"Right now?"

"Yes, _right now_."

"Don't you need a minister or a justice of the peace or something?" Rory asked. "And what about a marriage license? Don't you need a marriage license? And isn't there a waiting period for a marriage license? You can't just elope right here, in the middle of Star's Hollow."

"Hmm, marriage license. Didn't think of that," Lorelai said. Then she shrugged, deciding that Luke could take care of the details. "Oh well. And why can't we elope in Star's Hollow?"

Rory pondered this for a moment. "Because… you can't."

Instead of responding, Lorelai growled at her closet. "I don't have anything to wear to my own wedding!" she said in frustration.

"What about your wedding dress?" Rory asked. "The one you bought before… I know you didn't throw it away."

But Lorelai shook her head in vigorous dissent. "Bad luck," she stated.

"So you have a wedding dress you're never going to wear, even to your own wedding."

"I'll wear it after the wedding," she allowed.

"Mom, that is so messed up."

"I can't wear that dress, Rory!" Lorelai all but shouted. "I love it, it's beautiful, but for the last year it's been nothing but a very painful reminder of a day I thought I'd never have. I can't wear that dress today."

Without further discussion, she dove back into the closet and continued her frantic search for a non-wedding-dress dress to wear to her wedding.

Rory smiled fondly at the sight of Lorelai throwing clothes in every direction. It reminded her of the way her mother used to act when she was growing up – carefree, eager, and a little childish. She had lost some of that innocent enthusiasm in the past year or two, in no small part because of her problems with Luke, Christopher, and with Rory herself. But before her stood the real Lorelai Gilmore once again, her only concern what she was going to wear to her wedding.

Rory reached past her into the closet and pulled out a dress she knew had been relegated to the back. She was surprised her mother had kept it in the closet at all considering the great purge of Luke-related paraphernalia that had occurred earlier that year.

"This one," she declared, holding it up for Lorelai to see.

Her mother smiled as she recognized it. "Perfect." She looked up at her daughter, suddenly becoming serious. "I'm getting married."

"And having a baby," Rory reminded her.

"Luke and I are getting married and having a baby," Lorelai restated, taking a deep breath.

Giving her a knowing smile, Rory, "It's about time, Mom."

Lorelai studied her questioningly, then exclaimed, "You knew he was going to propose!"

"Well…"

"First Luke, now you, knowing stuff and not telling me," she complained.

Rory said, "Well, he told me he was planning on asking you to marry him and asked my permission."

Not sure what to make of that information, she repeated, "He asked your permission?"

"Well, you know, tradition. And he didn't want to go to Grandpa or Grandma because he knows how you'd feel about that, and it didn't seem right anyway. So he asked me," Rory explained.

"And what did you tell him?"

"What did I tell him when?"

"What is this, twenty questions?" Lorelai retorted. "What did you tell him when he asked permission."

Rory crossed her arms and gave her mother a incredulous look. "What do you think I told him?"

"Again a with the questions…"

"Of course I told him yes!" she exclaimed. "What was I going to say? 'No, Luke, you can't make my mother incredibly happy by asking her to marry you.'"

Smiling at her daughter's assessment, she stated, "I'm really going to miss you, kid."

The two women hugged, each knowing that with Rory leaving soon for her new job, it was the end of an era. But it was also a beginning, for both of them.

"Come on," Rory said, glancing at her watch. "We have a wedding to get to!"

* * * * *

Phones rang, knuckles pounded on doors, and feet slapped on pavement. Those out of town got the news and immediately jumped into their vehicles, breaking multiple traffic laws in their haste to arrive in Star's Hollow. There was no time for gifts, or even questions and idle speculation.

Those already in town went straight to work. A tent was erected in record time. Chairs were brought out and placed in rows. Instruments were set up and tuned. Decorations emerged from attics and basements. Flowers were pilfered from nearby gardens. Food appeared as if by magic. Town residents swarmed the square like ants, preparing the area in a frenzy of activity. In the middle of it all was Luke, giving directing, answering questions, and supervising every detail of the activity.

By the time Lorelai and Rory arrived at the gazebo (45 minutes and twelve shoe changes later), the ordinary spring afternoon had been transformed into a wedding day. The arrangements were more than a little quirky and the guests delightfully chaotic, but it was a wedding day nevertheless. Their lateness had given everyone a chance to put the finishing touches on the area around the gazebo.

As they approached, Rory spotted Luke engaged in an animated conversation with Taylor. He had taken the opportunity to change into a suit and tie.

"Well Luke, as the town selectman, I am authorized to act on behalf of the county clerk in these matters…"

"Taylor, can you do the damn license right now or not?"

The older man bristled. "Well of course I can, Luke. There's no reason to get snippy about it. Since they did away with the waiting period, I can draw it up and have the two of you sign it right now. I'll just need to see your identification."

"My identification? Taylor, you've known me my entire life. I really have to show you a driver's license?" Luke demanded. But Taylor simply crossed his arms and stared back at him, waiting. Grumbling loudly, Luke dug his wallet out of his pants and presented the ID card while the other man wrote down the information on a clipboard. "Do you need to see Lorelai's too?"

"No, I can just check the box that says 'personally known to me'," Taylor answered dismissively.

About that time, Miss Patty spotted Lorelai and Rory coming towards the square and moved to head them off. She was accompanied by Sookie, Babette, Lane, Liz, and Emily Gilmore. The four former women immediately enveloped the two of them in hugs and congratulations while the latter stood slightly apart.

"Grandma!" Rory exclaimed, just as Lorelai said in surprise, "Mom? What are you doing here?"

Emily responded in a slightly miffed reply, "I was _invited_. Although I must say, all this rushing about is uncalled for. Why can't you have a normal, planned-in-advance wedding like everyone else? Luke just called us up, out of the blue, said get to Star's Hollow in half an hour or miss your wedding. I've never heard of such a thing."

"Dad's here?"

"He's over there speaking with Sookie's husband about vegetable futures. You're lucky we didn't already have plans."

"Thanks for coming, Mom," Lorelai said with enough sincerity that it prompted a pleased smile from Emily. She turned to the other women, resisting the urge to look across the square towards Luke. "So what's the plan now?"

"Well, Luke's clearing up the marriage license with Taylor," Lane answered, "and Zach is looking for a minister."

"Looking for a minister?" Lorelai said in surprise. "You can't throw a rock in this town without hitting a church, and you're having trouble finding a minister?"

"Well, Reverend Skinner is at a funeral in Woodville."

"Rabbi Barans?" she asked, not really caring about religious affiliation.

"Bar mitzvah in Hartford, couldn't get away," Babette declared.

"What about a justice of the peace?" Rory suggested.

"We're looking for one," Miss Patty assured her. "There's bound to be someone in this town that can perform a wedding. Taylor can't do it because he's signing the marriage license. But if we can't find anyone else, Kirk is a notary public and has some kind of internet ordainment, so technically he can-"

Just as she finished speaking, Kirk ran across the square with a book in hand. "I've got it!" he shouted.

"Oh good!" Patty declared. "The show can go on!"

"What is that he's carrying?" Emily asked.

Sookie answered, "Well, Kirk said he could perform the ceremony if he could find the official book they mailed him when he became a notary." Seeing Lorelai's expression of skepticism, she continued, "Or we could wait for Reverend Skinner to get done with that funeral."

After considering the options for a moment, she decided, "No, Kirk it is. Let's get this party started."

* * *

Morey played electric keyboard while Zach strummed out the traditional wedding march on his guitar. The combination sounded both classic and contemporary, matching perfectly the impromptu wedding. The assembled guests took the variety of seats, no one even bothering to segregate themselves based on groom's side or bride's side. Some people had taken the time to change into more formal attire while others simply arrived in their street clothes. And as Lorelai stood at the edge of the square, ready to walk down the grassy aisle, she appreciated that each and every one of them was present for the event. They were her family, after all. They were the people she had laughed and cried with over the past two decades. And at the end of that aisle was the man who made her family complete.

Exactly one hour after accepting Luke's proposal, Lorelai walked towards him down that aisle wearing the 'fruity' dress she had worn to their first unofficial date – Liz and TJ's wedding. She had even found the wreath in one of the boxes she had brought in from the garage, a painstaking process that had caused her and Rory to be later than they intended. While few recognized the significance of her attire, Luke noticed immediately. She saw him smile at her in appreciation.

The other man smiling at her with an expression of pure pride was her father, who she had quietly asked to walk her down the aisle. He had seemed surprised to be asked, but accepted immediately.

"Congratulations, Lorelai," he whispered to her as they neared the end. "I hope he makes you happy."

Instinctively, she leaned towards him and kissed him on the cheek as he let go of her arm. "He does," she said quietly.

As Richard moved to take his seat next to Emily, Lorelai stepped forward to stand beside Rory and opposite Luke. He grinned at her unabashedly. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," Lorelai answered back, then said in complete amazement, "I can't believe you did all this."

"I had a little help," Luke admitted. She could see satisfaction reflected in his eyes, and upon considering it realized that above all, he was pleased at having made her happy. "You look beautiful."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," she responded, repeated words she had said once before. The magical, mystical, dream-like quality of their sudden wedding ceremony reminded her more than a little of attending Liz and TJ's wedding with Luke. At the time, it had proved a pleasant diversion from her otherwise hectic schedule trying to open the Dragonfly. But in hindsight, it was a rare peek into Luke's romantic sensibilities.

Of course, she had only caught on to the romantic side of the evening when he asked her to dance. It was a moment, perhaps _the_ moment, that they truly stepped beyond the safe confines of friendship into the scary, exhilarating terrain of love. The tense excitement and butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that memory evoked had prompted her to agree with Rory's dress suggestion.

That night at Liz and TJ's wedding, as they danced together under the stars, taking careful tentative steps, she had seen something in Luke's eyes. As she stood before him four years later in the middle of the same town square, before all their friends and family, she recognized that something in his gaze once again. Before, it had surprised her, even frightened her a little, that Luke Danes, a man she counted as merely a friend for so many years, could look at her with such naked adoration. Now, his soft expression and small smile brought her comfort and joy.

"Is this official enough for you yet?" he asked, reminding her of their first kiss.

"Depends on what Kirk has in that book."

As it turned out, Kirk's book contained a great many things, including ceremonies for just about every conceivable circumstance. Baptisms, toasts, official oaths… He flipped through it for a solid five minutes before Luke grabbed the book and quickly located the correct chapter for wedding ceremonies.

"Oh, right," Kirk said. Looking up at the assembled guests, he deepened his voice and projected it a bit more than was truly necessary. "We are gathered here today to bear witness to the joining of this man-" He gestured with exaggeration to Luke, "-and to this woman." He pointed unnecessarily to Lorelai.

Reading from the book, Kirk continued, "Insert personal message here… Oh, well I guess this is the part where I talk about marriage." He paused, thinking hard. His eyes brightened as an idea occurred to him. "Marriage, he began. "Marriage is what brings us together today. Marriage, that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream…"

"Kirk!" Lorelai scolded, recognizing his inspiration.

Without skipping a beat, the younger man consulted his book before saying loudly, "If any person here present knows of any reason why these two people should not be joined in the holy bonds of matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Silence. A few people glanced at Emily Gilmore, who whispered loudly to Richard, "Why are they looking at me? What has Lorelai been telling them?"

Undeterred, Kirk glanced across the crowd. "Anyone? Anyone at all? The floor is open to anyone who thinks Luke and Lorelai shouldn't finally tie the knot."

"Skip to the vows, Kirk," Luke growled.

Turning to him, Kirk said, "Repeat after me. I – insert groom's name – take – insert bride's name - to be my lawfully wedded wife."

Luke smiled as he looked at his bride. It was really happening. They were finally going to do it. After all the years of secret attraction and unspoken desires, all the months of separation, after all the tears and the first dates and perfect moments, they were finally going to get married.

"I Luke, take you, Lorelai, to be my lawfully wedded wife."

"To love, honor, and cherish, in good times and in bad."

"To love, honor, and cherish, in good times and in bad." Luke's voice held her in a trance as securely as his loving gaze. Lorelai blinked rapidly, hoping to fight off the moisture that had collected in her eyes.

"In sickness and in health."

"In sickness and in health."

"Forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live."

"Forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live," Luke finished.

Kirk looked at Lorelai, then down at his book again. "Repeat vows with bride. Lorelai, repeat after me-"

"I think I got it, Kirk." Reaching out to take his hand, she said, "I Lorelai, take you, Luke, to be my lawfully wedded husband. To love, honor, and cherish, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live."

The moisture in Lorelai's eyes won and despite her happiness, tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Okay, this is the part where you two are supposed to exchange rings," Kirk advised.

Wiping at her eyes, Lorelai looked around. "Um, we don't have any rings."

Luke seemed equally baffled, not having considered this part of the ceremony. "Hey, Kirk, can we skip this part?"

"No, the book says you have to exchange rings."

They both turned to the crowd, hating to appeal to their friends and neighbors, but needing to get on with the ceremony. But before they could begin their general plea, Emily stood up. "Here, you can use ours," she said, then reached for her husband's hand. "Richard, give me your ring."

"It's still attached to my finger, Emily," he said, yanking away his fingers.

Suddenly, Zach stood up. "Hey, man, you can use mine."

The rings were quickly collected and brought to the front. Lorelai laughed aloud at the sight of Emily's tasteful platinum ring with two carat diamond in Kirk's hand next to Zach's ring of tiny silver skulls.

Without waiting for Kirk, Luke picked up the former and slipped it onto Lorelai's ring finger. "With this ring, I thee wed," he said softly.

Lorelai repeated the ritual, gently sliding Zach's ring onto his hand. "With this ring, I thee wed," she repeated.

Realizing they had not waited for his instructions, Kirk frowned, then flipped through the book in annoyance. "Well, I guess that's all you have to do," he muttered darkly. "By the power invested in me by the Online Church of Elvis Gospel Ministries and the State of Connecticut, I pronounce you husband and wife."

They kissed, neither bothering to wait for permission. Knowing Luke's discomfort with public displays of affect, Lorelai half expected it to be a fairly chaste kiss. She was unprepared for the level of passion and intense eroticism as Luke's lips touched hers, instantly transforming their very public wedding ceremony into a private moment between just the two of them. It was a promise of things to come as clear as the words they had just exchanged.

By the time the kiss ended, the cheering and applause had died down to a dull roar. Luke ducked his head in embarrassment but Lorelai simply grinned at the crowd, then at her husband, and finally at her daughter standing next to her.

"Congratulations, Mom," Rory said, pulling her into a hug.

"I can't believe it really happened," she answered.

"It really happened," her daughter assured her. "The only down side is, you don't get to drink the champagne."

"That's okay, as long as there's cake."

* * * * *

Both champagne and cake flowed freely the rest of the evening as Star's Hollow celebrated its biggest, most anticipated wedding in decades. The evening could not have gone off better even if it had been planned months in advance. It was as though the town had released a collective sigh of relief at having finally witnessed their inn owner and diner owner tie the knot.

The receiving line stretched across the square and half-way down the next block. Luke and Lorelai were hugged and kissed and wished well for a solid half hour. By the time they were able to sit down and have a bite to eat, the party was in full swing. Hep Alien played in the background as people ate and drank, laughed and joked. Everyone seemed to have an "I always thought they'd end up together," story that needed to be shared.

"I remember the time when Luke bought Lorelai's basket at the auction," Miss Patty said fondly.

Sookie sighed. "They were always so cute together."

"They still are!" Babette insisted.

"I just remember how grumpy Luke was the first time they broke up," Lane said. "He was breaking dishes, yelling at everyone, throwing people out… and then the day after they got back together, he was on cloud nine. I'm not even sure if he charged people for food that day."

"Oh, that reminds me of when Lorelai called off the wedding to Max," Sookie gushed. "He did the same thing!"

Emily, who was standing nearby, turned to her husband. "They make Lorelai's life sound like such a soap opera."

"Indeed," Richard agreed.

"All I can say is, thank God she's finally settling down."

"He's a good man, Emily. He'll make her happy."

"How do you know?" Emily demanded.

Richard answered matter-of-factly, "Because she said so."

At a table nearby, Luke and Lorelai sat by themselves in a rare moment of privacy. They had not separated since the ceremony, and each took every opportunity to reach out and touch the other – a kiss here, a stroke of the arm there. At the moment, Luke had one arm firmly wrapped around his new wife.

Wife. Luke shook his head slightly as he tried to process the word into his vocabulary. Lorelai was now his wife.

"Hey, I've got something for you," he said quietly, reaching into his back pocket for the small box.

"More surprises?" she quipped.

"No, just this." He held out the box to her. As she took it, he explained, "I really wanted to be able to give you the ring, but it's still at the jewelers being made. So this is kind of a temporary substitute."

She opened the box to reveal a beautiful silver necklace that she quickly recognized as Liz's work. "It's beautiful," she said. She began to reach around her neck to put it on, but Luke stopped her.

"Here, let me."

As he fastened it, Lorelai attempted to clarify his statement by inquiring, "So you said the ring is at the jewelers?"

"Yeah, they're not done making it."

"You're having a ring _made_ for me?" she asked.

"Well, Liz would say the right word is 'commissioned,' but yeah, it's being made. It wasn't going to get here for a couple of months, and I didn't want to wait that long."

Touched, she put one hand over the necklace and said simply, "Luke…"

Shrugging, he admitted, "I just couldn't find anything I really thought you'd like, so Liz helped me figure out a design. Apparently they have entire programs on the internet to design your own wedding and engagement rings. People have way too much time on their hands."

"So, when you asked me to marry you today… that wasn't just a spur of the moment thing? You had this all planned out?"

"Well, not _planned_, obviously. I've been trying to ask you for weeks. It's just… like with the ring, I couldn't think of a really good way to ask. So, I just… asked."

She smiled at him, touched at the level of consideration he had given to both the ring and the proposal. "I'm glad you did."

"I'm sorry if it wasn't more romantic."

Lorelai snorted in disbelief. "Luke, you arranged a wedding in forty-five minutes. Talk about jumping! This is sky-diving quality jumping. And everyone's here. My parents are here. Liz and TJ are here. _Rory's_ here. She really wanted to be at the wedding and she's leaving in two days, and you arranged it so she could be here. I really can't believe you did all this. Talk about sweeping a girl off her feet!"

"Yeah?" he said demurely, pleased with her reaction.

"It's like a Disney happily-ever-after brought to life."

Luke nodded. "Good."

"But what about you? April isn't here or Jess…"

He shook his head in response. "April would have wanted to be here, but if we delayed the wedding because of her, she'd kill me. As for Jess, he's got his own life to worry about."

"April's coming down in a couple of months, right? Maybe we could do something special, just the three of us."

"That sounds great." Luke smiled, genuinely pleased at the suggestion as well as the fact that Lorelai had included herself automatically in the plan. One of the things he had come to realize was that when it came to April, Lorelai was now her family too. Keeping April to himself had been the selfish act of insecurity, and it had done nothing but hurt the ones he loved.

"And come next year, it will be the four of us. Well, if Rory's home, it'll be five," she pointed out, bringing up the topic they had barely discussed.

Luke looked at her with the bewildered anxiety she expected to see from a new father. "Yeah. Geez, there's a lot to do. You need to go to the doctor, get vitamins. We need to buy diapers. And a crib. And one of those little strap-on carrier things that Liz has for Doula…"

"There'll be plenty of time to shop later," she assured him. Then her expression changed to one of uncertainty. "Luke… did you ask me to marry you because of the baby?"

Her question took him by surprise. Several seconds lapsed before he was able to process it and formulate a response. "No," he stated decisively. "Lorelai, I asked you to marry me because I want to be married to you."

The intensity of his expression and simplicity of his explanation told her all she needed to know. His proposal was just that, a proposal. He wanted to marry her, so he asked. And the fact that they had a baby on the way was a bonus, not the reason for his asking.

She grinned at him in barely contained glee. "Luke, we're married!"

"That's the rumor."

As the band took a break, Kirk assumed his usual duties as D.J. by putting on a slow song. It wasn't their song or anything they had picked out, but Luke suddenly felt the desire to dance with his new wife. Standing, he held out his hand to her in silent invitation. Without a thought, she took it and he led her to the dance floor.

It wasn't their first dance, nor would it be their last. If their relationship up to that point was any indication, life would continue to be interesting and full of surprises. They had learned a lot in their months apart and even more in their brief time back together. They had both discovered that while finding the right person in life may have been difficult, making it work was the hardest part. Having taken vows to do just that, Luke and Lorelai looked at each other and the future with optimism and enthusiasm.

And amid the music and the guests and the stars in the sky, they stood still for one moment in time.


	19. Epilogue: Fifty Years

**Epilogue: Fifty Years**

"How do you put this stupid thing together? It's like you have to be an engineer to figure this stuff out. Why can't they just put all the parts in the box and give you simple instructions _in English_? But no, you have to put tube H into ring A and attach tube H with a bolt. But it doesn't tell you which bolt, which is kind of importance because they give you four different sizes of bolts!"

Lorelai threw up one hand in surrender. In her other, she held her cell phone to her ear as she ranted.

"_I'm sure they give you a picture or a diagram or something,"_ her daughter suggested.

"The picture isn't any help at all! It shows all the pieces, but they're not in place, and there are arrows pointing all over with numbers and bolts. Did I mention the bolts? Four different sizes. And everything has to be tightened with this little metal thing that I can't even find…"

Over the phone, she heard Rory laugh at her plight. _"Just let Luke do it, Mom. You shouldn't be assembling anything in your condition anyway."_

"Let Luke do it. That's a great idea!" Chucking tube H and the bolts she was holding into a pile, Lorelai stood up and headed into the kitchen. Rory's comment on her 'condition' suddenly reminded her that she was hungry.

One of the perks to being pregnant, she had rediscovered, was that she could pretty much eat whatever she wanted. Not that she didn't eat whatever she wanted before she got pregnant, but Luke rarely lectured her about her food choices anymore. Of course, it helped that most of her cravings involved fresh fruit and vegetables, which Luke had been trying to get her to eat since the day they met. He had, however, strong reservations about letting her drink caffeinated coffee. It was a continuing battle.

Picking up a peach from the bowl on the table, she headed into the living room. "So how's the campaign trail? Is our boy Obama gonna be president?"

"_Hard to say, Mom. This is just the primaries. And I thought you were voting for Hillary."_

"I'm voting for Kirk," Lorelai declared.

"_As in 'Captain'?"_

"As in Kirk – our Kirk. The town Kirk."

"_Kirk's running for president?"_ Rory asked, dumbfounded.

"Well, rather than try to do every job known to man, he decided to just start at the top and work his way down. First president, then vice president…" Lorelai's sentence trailed off as she heard the front door. "Oh, I think someone's here."

"_Who is it?"_

"I don't know." Shouting, she called, "Is somebody-?"

Luke stepped into the room before she could finish. Spotting a bag of Al's Pancake World takeout in his hand, she immediately sprang off the couch.

"It's Luke! He's home early and he brought me food."

"_Bye Mom. Tell Luke 'hi' for me."_

"Will do." Hanging up the phone, she informed him, "Rory says 'hi'."

"How's she doing?" he inquired. He headed for the kitchen to put the take-out on the table. Despite Lorelai's repeated entries that plastic cartons on the coffee table constituted a perfectly acceptable dining experience, he still insisted on real dishes at the kitchen table. And because he did most of the cooking (ok, _all_ of the cooking), she let him have his way.

"She's exhausted. She works constantly, the hours are a nightmare, and her editor is really hard to please."

"So she's having a great time?" he surmised.

"The best," Lorelai confirmed. "She's meeting new people, visiting new places. I think it's the best thing that could have happened to her."

As he began scooping their dinner onto separate plates, Luke noticed her previously abandoned project spread across the floor in Rory's old room. "What's all that?" he demanded.

"Oh, nothing." She got up to close the door before she settled down to dinner.

"Were you trying to put that thing together?"

Guiltily, she lied, "No."

Not believing her, he responded, "I told you I'd put it together."

"I've been here all afternoon with nothing to do. I thought I'd give it a shot."

With Zach on tour and Lane needing so much time to take care of the babies, Luke had been staying late at the diner most nights and going in on weekends. Sometimes Lorelai would help out after she got off work at the Dragonfly, but Luke worried about her being on her feet too much. Or lifting heavy objects – well, lifting anything, really. His concern was kind of sweet when it wasn't driving her crazy.

"I'm pregnant, not an invalid," she said.

"Has being pregnant suddenly endowed you with the skill to assemble complex scientific instruments?" he asked, taking a bite of his own food.

Pouting, she admitted, "No, it hasn't."

"Then let me put it together."

"Why'd we have to get April a huge telescope as a present anyway?"

Dishing another helping onto her plate, Luke responded, "Because that's what she said she wanted. She's only coming to visit for a couple of weeks and I asked her if there was anything she wanted to do for fun while we were here-"

"Besides spend time with her dad and lovely new step-mother?" Lorelai interrupted.

"Besides that. And she said she wants to take up astronomy."

"So you went out and bought her the biggest, most complicated telescope you could find?" she inquired.

Luke defended, "It's the one the guy at the store recommended."

"Cause it costs as much as a small car," she quipped.

"And he said the assembly is minimum. April wants to study the stars. How am I supposed to say no to that?"

Lorelai smiled at him and his enthusiasm for pleading his daughter. She said, "These kids, can't teach 'em anything. When I was her age I wanted clothes and music."

"What about Rory?" he asked knowingly.

"Well, Rory wanted books," Lorelai conceded. "Lot's of books. When she was little, I thought maybe she wanted so many to make a castle out of them. Or a fort. Imagine my surprise when I found out she was actually reading them!"

"Imagine that," commented Luke dryly. "Well, I'm pretty sure April wants this to look at the sky, but you can hold out hope she only wants it to spy on the neighbors."

"Oh, she probably learned a long time ago that you really don't need to spy on the neighbors. You can just go ask Miss Patty. She can tell you anything you want to know."

"Or Babette," he interjected.

"Speaking of progeny and the rumor mill, did you give any thought to when you want to…" She let the question trail off. They had recently had a heated discussion on this very topic, and she had learned to let him process before throwing him into another full-fledged conversation about something controversial.

"Not yet."

"Okay, but in a few months I'm going to start showing," she pointed out.

Luke countered, "Then in a few months we can tell everyone. I'm just not ready to be at the center of town gossip again."

Understanding his position, Lorelai nodded. Aside from Rory, they had kept the news of her pregnancy to themselves, although they planned to tell April when she came to visit. The early sonograms had gone well, and the doctor saw no signs of anything wrong. But she knew that Luke agreed with the practice of not making a general announcement until the second trimester, just in case the worst should happen in those first risky months. His caution sometimes annoyed her a little, but in this matter, she was willing to defer to him.

While she had no qualms with telling all their friends, she knew she would also have to tell her mother. Ever since Rory had headed out into the big wide world, she and Luke had continued to go to Friday Night dinners. And the dinners were going well. Everything was status quo. Lorelai did, however, dread giving her mother fodder for an entire discourse on shotgun weddings, not to mention that once the baby arrived, Emily and Richard would have an entirely new grandchild to dote on and attempt to spoil.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I have something for you," Luke mentioned as he cleared the table. He felt in the pockets of his pant and his shirt before saying, "I think I left it in the truck. I'll be right back."

As he disappeared out the back door, Lorelai smiled after him. Things had been going well in the two months since their spontaneous wedding, better than she had thought possible. He had moved in immediately, bringing with him all his things. Somehow, his essence managed to transform her house into _their_ house. And to her surprise, having him there did not feel strange at all. No man had ever belonged in her house the way Luke did. He knew all of its secrets, all its nooks and crannies and eccentric quirks.

Having him there felt right – unbelievably right. She slept better, she ate better. Even Paul Anka found things less frightening with Luke around. And she was happy. Truly happy. Luke provided a sense of contentment she had only ever felt when Rory was growing up. He was more than a lover or a husband – he was her family.

Appearing again through the back door, Luke approached her side of the table. But rather than ask her to stand or lower himself into the chair next to her, he dropped down to one knee beside her. "I think this is how this is done…" he murmured, holding out a small velvet box.

"Luke-" she began.

"Just open it."

Inside the box she found the most beautiful wedding ring she had ever seen. It was simple and elegant, but it also had character and style. There were diamonds sprinkled around the setting, but at the center was a sparkling sapphire cut so that it would glitter brightly no matter how she turned her hand.

"Luke, it's wonderful," she announced. "This is what you had made for me?"

"Yeah, well, Liz helped a lot. And… it's engraved."

Removing the ring from its box, Lorelai turned it so she could read the inside.

**All in – now and forever. **

Beside the words were two scripted L's, elegantly intertwined.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she looked up at him. "Luke…" she said again softly, unable to express her feelings in words.

Still on one knee, he said, "I know this is kind of late, but I really wanted to do it this way the first time. Tradition and all that. Not that you're all that big on tradition, or I am really, but sometimes it's nice, so… Lorelai, will you be my wife?"

Laughing at the absurd question, she glanced down at the ring in her hand. She was ashamed to admit, she had gained more experience with engagement and wedding rings than she ever thought she would, first with Max's antique engagement ring, then the one she was certain Luke bought from Kirk, and finally the disturbingly expensive rock that Christopher had bought her. Compared to all those, this ring was exquisite. And it had one attribute that no other ring in the world could boast – the man kneeling before her had designed it and had it made especially for her.

Slipping the ring onto the third finger of her left hand, she lifted it in admiration. "I don't know…" she teased, "I may have to think about that."

"Ah, jeez," Luke muttered as he got up from the one-knee-bent position.

"I mean, this is really sudden and it's an awfully big decision," she continued.

"Come here crazy lady," he said. Reaching for her hands, he pulled her out of her chair and flush against him. Needing no encouragement, Lorelai wrapped her arms around his neck as their lips met in a passionate kiss.

As they parted just enough to gaze at one another, she smiled brightly. "Okay, why not? I'll marry you."

"Does this mean we have to get married again?" Luke asked, suddenly wondering if she wanted a wedding she could plan – white dress, flower arrangements, and so on. He had, after all, sprung their wedding on her rather suddenly.

By way of response, she asked, "Well, how sure are we that marriage license Taylor signed is good?"

"I checked with the clerk of the court just to be sure, and they said it's fine."

"Okay, then I guess one wedding is enough," Lorelai decided. "Although, maybe we could do a vow renewal ceremony in a few years."

Remembering the one and only vow renewal ceremony he had ever been to and its disastrous aftermath, Luke shook his head. "No vow renewals. They have no legal justification, and they're just an excuse to throw a big party. If you want a big party, then we'll throw a big party. But we're not doing a 'vow renewal'."

Pouting, Lorelai attempted to compromise, "What about in twenty years?"

Luke sighed. "In twenty years, we can talk about it," he allowed, knowing full well that the woman before him could probably talk him into _anything_ she pleased.

"What about fifty years? Will you marry me again in fifty years?" she badgered.

Rolling his eyes, Luke finally gave in. "Fine, in fifty years, I'll do the vow renewal thing."

"It's a date," she asserted. "Fifty years."

The End


End file.
